any advice about DD1's school's comments on her behaviour? (Y2)

[toadstool]

Nice report about her abilities (ending Y2, SATS levels between 3c and 2b), but her behaviour is criticised by every single teacher. The problem is, there's no pattern:
'needs constant attention and reassurance'
'has improved her concentration a little but can still be distracted by others'
'is managing to focus and concentrate a little better'
'...her attention seeking behaviour is affecting her progress'
'I would like DD1 to keep her chattering for the playground'
'initially she was afraid of PE but now she has imporved in confidence a little... but she still needs to become a team player'
'I would like DD1 to learn to take turns and allow other children to get a word in edgeways'
Can anyone suggest what I can do about this, as a parent? I'm actually going to take her out of the school anyway as her class size is tiny and will shrink even further. BUT if she is annoying her teachers in a tiny class, will this turn into full-blown disruptiveness in a class of 30? Also her reports in R and Y1 were excellent, and tended to comment on her serious attitude despite her lack of self-confidence. Any comments/suggestions would be gratefully received.

[webwiz]

Hi Toadstool maybe a bigger class would be better for her. From the comments it seems that she lacks a bit of confidence and that maybe her personality doesn't match the others in a very small class. Perhaps a bigger class would let her fit in better and because a larger group of children have to be managed differently she might get "the rules" a bit better in that situation.

All the same the teachers sound a bit mean as they ought to be able to deal with chatterbox 7 year old girls without being so negative. I would be a bit cross and upset to get this in a report after all she is still very young and a lot of the behaviours should be improved by the teachers as an ongoing process.

[FranSanDisco]

I think these comments can be applied to many children. Ds was described as easily ditracted by peers and also needing to allow others to speak. I personally see that as a positive . Dd has had personality clashes and bossy incidents. Both dc's are reaching and exceeding targets. Do you think your dd's behaviour is OK at home. I can certainly see both of mine are strong willed but not rude or disruptive and I won't stamp on their personality traits just yet .

[OtterInaSkoda]

Do you think maybe her "issues" might be only have been picked up because she's in a tiny class? What I'm trying to get at is that perhaps (and this is no bad thing at all) her chatting might get overlooked in a larger group. Don't sweat the small stuff and all that (the teachers, not you).
I also wonder if she was bored in her Y2 class - hence the "attention seeking". I can't put a finger on it but I don't always like that expression - perhaps some teachers prefer drones or something. My ds (who is about to go into Y4) plays the clown/attention seeks when he's struggling. I imagine he'd do the same if he wasn't being stretched - either results in disengagement imo.

Anyhoo you dd sounds bright and sociable to me

[TurtleAnn]

If the teachers has big concerns abou her behaviour they would be calling you into school to discuss behavioural support and referral to outside professionals.
Don't worry.

Playing turn taking games with other children can help, e.g. guess who, taking turns on the swings in the park (++praise for taking a good turn, ignoring bad turns).
Talking about taking turns while waiting in the queue for the bus, everyone is waiting in a queue so it is fair and we will all take turns to get on the bus and pay the driver, etc etc.

Comments about attention are about attention to an adult directed task (something DD didn't choose to do, e.g. Maths) so some art and craft tasks will be good over the holiday. Make a summer card or other art activities that require a bit of extended patience. Not when DD wants to do them but because when you bought the materials you decided this was going to happen on Wednesday afternoon after lunch and that is what happens. I am not saying don;t do things when she wants to, but have some planned activities in the diary that she knows about and that take place at a set time regardless of whether she would have naturally chosen to do them then - like lessons!

That said, it is easier for teachers to be negative about behaviour because it isn't scaled, scored and measured like everything else in school life - these comments can become disproportionately negative in comparison to the results contest of Maths, English and Science. It doesn't mean DD has poor behaviour, none of the comments made strike me as particularly bad.

[lljkk]

Maybe she could join a club where they give lots of incentives for things like team-work (am thinking of Brownies specifically). But honestly, those comments wouldn't overly concern me. Better than "has had an interesting year in Reception" which DS2 had.