OMG have just totally lost it with ds. Scared myself. I flipped completely. They both must think I'm a lunatic.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Bloody hell, he's nearly 6, DD well over 8 - I've never experienced fury like it, not even when they were tantrumming toddlers.

Am deranged .

[differentID]

why did you lose it?

[Olihan]

What happened?

[policywonk]

I lost it with my 6-year-old DS this week as well (and he went down with a bug the next day, as often happens after he's been behaving badly).

I felt a bit better after I'd offered him a heartfelt apology (and he'd readily accepted it, thanks to his generous nature).

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Sobs.

He hurt his arm slightly. He's insisting he's broken it. I KNOW he hasn't. He thinks its funny. We've spent 20 minutes on the subject. Several times I've looked him in the eye and told him not to joke about it, I'm tired of the joke, he doesn't need to go to hospital, tried to teach him about the boy who cried wolf.

I am trying to make him understand that I am really really serious, this isn't a joking matter. And he's still got a glint in his eye and a smile on his face when he's clutching his arm saying he's broken it.

I flipped because I can't stand not being listened to and understood when I am such an available, understanding, kind and sympathetic mum. But when pushed I can get cross!

Why doesn't he know that about me by now? Its like dealing with a stranger .

He

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Saddest aspect is dd 8 trying to broker a peace between us. I just yelled at her to keep away from me too. Am shocked at myself.

[policywonk]

Oh dear. I diagnose a classic case of button-pushing. Say sorry (don't attempt to explain why you got so cross, just say sorry), have a hug, get him into bed and have a stiff drink.

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Are you sure he hasn't done any damage?

My DD was told she hadn't broken her arm but her bone had come out of the socket.

[Ripeberry]

My DD1 has just turned 7yrs old and she is button pushing all the time. She says i'm lovely like a rose but with sharp thorns.
Then she says she likes to make the 'thorns' come out
I've resisted but she does push it when she tries to bite me.
Likes to make up hurtful rhymes about me.
But i know she is just trying to push me.
She's lucky i'm in a good mood and not stressed at the moment.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Well they've finally gone to bed and seem happy enough. I have apologised but not flung myself at their feet. Ds is oblivious. Lovely beautiful dd was a bit teary though. She got him to brush his teeth and into his pyjamas and read him a story while I stomped around downstairs.

I do wonder why it is that two little creatures you would do anything for can at the same time infuriate you so much. Nothing makes you feel more like a grown up than being a parent, I guess.

[policywonk]

My mother pointed out to me once that children push your (one's) buttons so badly because they haven't yet learned enough about other people's behaviour/body language to realise that someone is about to blow their stack.

If an adult continued to wind you up despite it being obvious that you were approaching breaking point, you'd feel justified in having a bit of a shout. (I'm not saying that that means it's OK to yell at children, but I bet there are very few parents who have managed to completely avoid it.)

[KiwiKat]

they're little buggers sometimes, who enjoy pushing us to the limits. Mine is three and winds me up with ease, but doesn't get under dh's skin as easily. You have to remember we might be parents, but we're still human beings who are going to lose it sometimes - and then remember that we have maturity to draw on, which they don't, so you have to regain your composure, apologise for losing it, but explain that your point is still valid, and try to reach a new understanding.

And if that doesn't work, put 'em up for sale on Ebay and get a puppy instead!

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Your mother is very wise PW. I flipped because I hoped my ds knew me better - ie. that when I said I would get cross if he didn't stop pretending he'd broken his arm, I really did mean I would get cross. I guess he was just testing me and now he knows that I meant what I said on this occasion!

Thanks all for the sympathy and virtual tea.

[Chessiers]

Policywonk I suspect being completely in control of your reactions no matter what your child does or says would be doing them a disservice. Given that, in most cases, home is the safe place to learn about life, they should also learn that you can push other people too far.

Bibbity, I feel dreadful when I lose it with one or more, or all, of the children too. It tends to happen with my elder son more often than with the other two. I try to do it differently, to be the one who changes the dynamic, to walk away when necessary. I manage it a fair amount if the time. It's the aspect that's harder as they get older IME.

[Chessiers]

Meant to say that I agree with policywonk's mother. Still getting used to typing on phone

[policywonk]

She was very wise. She selfishly died on me last year, and I know there's a whole store of wisdom I'm missing out on as a consequence.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

You probably have the wisdom by osmosis PW .

[monkeypinkmonkey]

I think we all lose it at some point,I did it just today as ds wouldn't eat tea (something I am normally v laid back about). It's about being the adult and showing your DC how to say sorry