5 year old ds1 needs fillings [sad]

[bananabrain]

He needs 2 fillings in molars, I feel very guilty. Dentist has suggested he has them without local anaesthetic as the injection is often worse than the procedure. I'm very worried about the whole thing because...
Today was the first time ds1 has let a dentist look at his teeth, since a very unpleasant man dentist frightened him when he was 2 (very forceful and intimidating). We since found a lovely lady dentist and on second visit today ds1 happily let her look at him BUT now I think that if his next dental visit is awful it could put him off all over again. But what is the alternative?
I'm particularly concerned about the drill, as ds1 hates any loud noises. Until recently he was very scared of hand dryers, coffee machines etc. and although he is growing out if this at last, I suspect a drill inside his mouth will be too much.
Any advice from dental staff or people who've been through this would be appreciated. Do you think that doing the filling without LA is the best way? (Given that ds1 is also terrified of injections I actually think it might be, but then I don't know how painful fillings are without.)
I just read something on the internet about some dentists thinking that it is not worth filling milk teeth, and that painting them with fluoride is better as far less traumatic. Dentist did say she'd do this if he couldn't manage the filling, but I don't know whether to suggest she does this for now and we wait until he's a bit older. Is this silly? I know she'll be very gentle as she is very nice.
Help!!

[booyhoo]

i have a filling that i got when i was early teens (im 23 now) and you know i cant even remember getting it, i only know i did because the evidence is there in my mouth iyswim. so the pain obviously wasnt that bad. might be differnt for a younger child though so im not much help.