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should i go for no 2?

(4 Posts)
yummytummy Sat 04-Jul-09 19:46:27

hi really really need some advice. i already have ds 1 who is 20 months and have just about got a nice routine back with working part time going gym etc etc but am in a dilemma as to whether to go for no 2 or not. i always wanted to have a small age gap as there was 6 years between me and brother and this .always seemed too much. but i had a horrible pregnancy with sickness and fairly severe spd which i know can come back in subsequent pregnancies and be worse and i will have a lively toddler to look after too. also had nasty 3rd degree tear so have been advised to have a c-section but even that is worrying

but in spite of all this i do long for a new baby to love even though i remember the not sleeping for 6 months etc and dont know how i will handle two as the work and stress will double wont it? but then i do feel like somethings missing and if i have to go through all the spd everything might as well get it over with?

also worried about age as dont want to wait too long as takes longer to conceive? i am 33. dh quite keen but says up to me as i went through alot with last pregnancy.

aaahh its driving me mad cant stop dithering!

please help and tell me 2 isnt impossible!

zuzkah Sat 04-Jul-09 20:06:48

Hi, my ds is 19 months old and I feel very much the same. Even though Im not working yet and my pregnancy was ok, ended up in c-section though. So I ll tell you how Im looking at it. Yes it can be more stressful but I think the amount of work is not gonna make much difference? Basically they are gonna be the same tasks only with a few little bit of extras. Do you have some family around who could help you out a bit if needed?
So what I say - Go for it. You want to have two kids, right?
You ll just adjust the routine! Sounds nice and easy, he? Probably what I would want to hear...wink

myjobismum Sat 04-Jul-09 20:11:52

2 is not impossible - it is beautiful!

I understand all your reasons (though not gone through it all myself) but if you are longing for another baby then it will all pale in significance!

I have a DS 3y8mth and a DD 9months and almost 3 years is a wonderful age gap!

Go for it, cope as best you can and get through the awful 9 months of pregnancy, get as much help and support as you can find - 2 children is amazing and although hardwork at times it is wonderful!

Just to help cement my view - my little boy was talking to me the other day and we were talking about presents, I asked him the best present Mummy and Daddy had given him (of course fully expecting it to be car/chocolate/sweets etc as he is a 3 year old boy lol) and his answer was quick and simple "My Sister!" grin

Good luck!

madame Sat 04-Jul-09 20:11:56


Two isn't impossible of course and you would manage.

In this situation I feel you have to do some serious soul searching.....what you truly want, what does your gut tell you. I always thought I wanted two but after my dd turned about 2 I strated to feel differently, we were trying but nothing happening and then with the delay I started to let my real feelings come to the surface and I actually came to the difficult but final decision that 1 child was right for me.

I am not suggesting that this is the right decision for you but I do think you have to spend some time on your own and make this decision this. Yiu do know the answer as it's within you, you just ned to listen to yourself.

All I would say is that if your are hesitating then maybe you need to wait a little while....

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