"Come here, ds, I want to change your nappy." "No nappy." "Come here, ds, I want to put your t-shirt on." "No t-shirt." "Come here, ds I want to give you some chocolate." "No chocolate." <pause>

[raisingrrrl]

Surely I can't be the only one who finds the constant contrariness of toddlers totally exhausting? Not to mention the cleaning involved. So far today I've cleaned crayon off the door frame (crayons are now confiscated) and cleaned all the juice out of his toy kitchen's sink (juice cup now confiscated and available only on demand and supervised).

Am I expecting too much of a 2 year old? Is he just saying No for the sake of it? Is it all getting on top of me because I'm nearly 38 weeks pg?

[NoBiggy]

It's the way it is.

[Mummyfor3]

Hate to tell you: perfectly normal toddler behaviour!
"Terrible 2s", pah!! DS1 has been contrary from about 9 months and still is aged almost 6 years.
Mine have done the saying "no!" to chocolate as well !

Your son is just expressing his new found sense of self and is wallowing in POWER [evil laugh emoticon]

It does get better when they are old enough that you can reason with them...

Good luck with delivery - and then taming two monsters .

[fryalot]

you may find it easier to give her a choice...

"come and show me which shirt you want on"
"would you like white chocolate or brown?"
"do you want your nappy on now or do you want to wait for five minutes?"

It might work...

[SlightlyMadScotland]

squonk is right.

When you tell them to put nappy on you are giving them a choice of yes I will do what I am told or no I won't.

If you give him a choice

Put his nappy on in the bedroom or bathroom
This chocolate or tha chocolate
Blue T shirt or red t shirt.

It usually take yes or no out o the equation...and gives him the power to decide between 2 things both of which are acceptable to you

[raisingrrrl]

The pause after the refusal to consider chocolate was amusing though.

Part of the problem is that I find it virtually impossible to be cross with him for any length of time because he is just too damn cute!

[Coldtits]

Baffle him with choices that are not really choices.

Ds2 has two toothbrushes, a red one and a green one. Every night, I say to him "red toothbrush or green toothbrush"

He always chooses the red one.

If I just told him it was time to brush his teeth, he would sy "No!"

So, with the t shirt, say "Are you going to stand up while i PUT YOUR T SHIRT ON, OR SIT DOWN?"

He is saying No for the sake of it, yes.

[Mummyfor3]

Yes, giving choice is v good idea and works for all of mine.

Make sure you offer only 2 or max 3 choices of options that YOU approve of. Also choose your battles: colour of t-shirt doesn't really matter, but not running away from you when out and about is NOT negotiable.

Well, being cute is how they stop us from strangeling them, isn't it ?
My dad was told when I had just had his first grandchild that "grandchildren are the reward you get for not having killed your own children"! To think that we once behaved in unreasonable manner ??!!

[raisingrrrl]

Just tried the choices thing with him.

"Do you want fish fingers or nuggets for lunch?"
"No lunch."

ffs...

[SlightlyMadScotland]

Give him time...if he is already in a spiral of no's by the sounds of it you could probably ask him if his name is DS and he would say no.

Start again when he is all happy and jolly.

Alternatively try giving him what he has asked for (no lunch)...

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

I resort to bribery.

Frequently and often.

[Meglet]

LOL at mummyto3's comment from her dad .

My 2yo DS is just as contrary.

[cory]

"My dad was told when I had just had his first grandchild that "grandchildren are the reward you get for not having killed your own children"! To think that we once behaved in unreasonable manner ??!!"

I have it from an authoritative source that I was worse than either of my children... Apparently, my mother went around muttering 'I will never rear this child, I will never rear this child'.

[phdlife]

what is REALLY cracking me up atm is not only the frequent "no's" (ds not quite 2 so not totally into them yet) but he frequently gets "yes" and "no" mixed up.

"Would you like some chicken?"
"No!"
Other times, he really really REALLY means "NO".

[StealthPolarBear]

DS knows the word no but not yes yet. So if he doesn't want something (more often than not) we get a NO, if he does want it he just goes quiet and looks intensely at whatever it is

[phdlife]

that's so sweet SPB. Ds has a whole range of them - "no, nope, uh-uh" and "yes, yep, uh-huh" - but he still gets 'em wrong

[PixelHerder]

My DD (2.6) just can't seem to grasp the concept of making a decision

If you say 'would you like apple or orange' the answer is invariably 'yes' or 'no', and bears no relation to which she will actually eat if you put them in front of her... grrrrrrrr.

She also says 'no' to doing things when she doesn't really mean it though, so I usually just go ahead and do whatever it is she has said 'no' to (is that bad??)

[pavlovthecat]

I stopped washing crayon and chalk off the walls, and when DD used biro on daddy's new cream leather computer chair, I realised cream was not a good idea! Luckily we have yet to decorate, so I am encouraging her not to do it, but accepting she is going to do it, and waiting til it passes before painting.

She is now potty trained in the day, but when she was still in nappies, and did not want it on, I just let her run around in a bare bum. Water in a water bottle for on the run, and in an open cup at the table only.

And now, bribery. Bribery is working a treat.

[phdlife]

Pixie I'm glad to hear your dd is still doing that at 2.6 - gives me hope that ds (21m) is not hopeless!

[woodstock3]

we tried the "do you want this jumper or that jumper" approach but no dice - ds is not fooled and just goes "no jumper"
what has worked lately is saying, interestedly as if you're really fascinated by the answer, "why not?". ds usually spends so long pondering this (because of course there is no reason why not) that he submits to whatever it was without really realising. doubt it'll work for long but it has made the mornings easier for now....