Babysitting dilemma - should we put DD to bed before we go out or let MIL do it?

[Bozza]

DH and I are going out with friends on Saturday. In order to do this we are staying en famille with PILs. Last time we went out (January) we had DS and DD in bed before the babysitter (a neighbour) came and it was all fine. DS will be no problem, he is used to staying at his grandparents but the dilemma is 10mo DD. She has never been put to bed by anyone except DH or me. Although she naps at nursery and my sister babysat one afternoon in March for us and got her to nap. Also she has not been in a travel cot since Christmas Day. Normal bed time is 7.30 pm.

So the question is do I book the restaurant for 8 or 8.30 pm and rush around getting ready while trying to put DD to bed. And maybe making myself late if she won't settle easily. Or do I book the restaurant for 7.30 pm, go out by 7 and leave my MIL to it, whatever "it" might be. DD will not have seen my MIL for a fortnight at this point.

[PiccadillyCircus]

I think I would book the restaurant for earlier and get MIL to put DD to bed. If you book it for later then you will possibly get stressed trying to get ready and then if DD doesn't settle, you will be stressed when you are trying to enjoy your meal.

DS (16 months) doesn't get put to bed by anyone else (apart from nursery) very often, but whenever he has it has been OK. His to be godparents (when we get round to having him christened) managed to put him down for a nap over Christmas even though he didn't know them much at all, and it took a few attempts.

Hope you have a nice evening on Saturday .

[nailpolish]

hi bozza

this was a huge worry to me when i was in this situation.. what i did was book the restaurant for a later time, but i just pottered around getting ready and my mum put dd down.. so therefore i was still around incase anything was to flare up, which it didnt! it was all fine, but i was glad i had stuck around. i knew then after that that both dd's were happy for someone else to put them down, so it was a case of it only being a one off

by the time i got to the restaurant at 830pm i was starving though!

enjoy your meal

[Easy]

I think it depends on how your MIL usually deals with the children, I personally would let her tho'. Otherwise you are making a rod for your own back, never able to go out until dd is in bed. She may as well get used to being put down by someone else now.

[nailpolish]

also, i made a point of not phoning my mum all night at all, she knew where i was if i needed her, and making phone calls to check would only make everyone stressed. thats my tip for you

[Bozza]

Hmm would have to hide if I go for that nailpolish because if DD sees me she will want me - no question. DH has to pull the bedroom door to so that she doesn't see me with DS while she is having her milk. And the bad news is that we will have to have her in our room.

MIL is used to DN who is a few months younger but is a bit of an old softie. DD usually goes down no problem at home as long as she has burped.

[nailpolish]

maybe your best option then would be just to bite the bullet and go out and let MIL do it. its the sort of thing that has to be done some day, just go for it! if it doesnt work out it doesnt work out, but i bet it does.

ill have my fingers crossed for you

[Bozza]

Thanks everyone I think the concensus is to go for it and I think you are right. A lot of what you have all said makes sense - will e-mail my friend about arrangements now.

I do feel a bit daft being soft about this when I send her to nursery 3 days a week with no problems.

[nailpolish]

dont be feeling daft! everyone gets anxious about bedtimes xxx

have a great time

[wild]

I am just the same about this bozza and ds is 2.5! I am edgy about bedtime stuff if I am not there. We have bbysitter looking after him from 6 on Friday and I KNOW it will be fine .. but until it happens it's on my mind ..

[Bozza]

Well in the end when we got there DD was very tired and clingy. DH's Grandad very poorly and not expected to live for long. So I had a shower while PILs and children had tea. Then DH and FIL went to see his Grandad. Then I gave kids their bath, MIL sorted DS and I put DD to bed. She didn't settle very well, but DH back from his Grandad who had made a v. unexpected recovery and he patted her and shushed her to sleep. And we were still on time to go out! And had a lovely evening. DD slept until 5.30, had milk and then went back in travel cot until 7.30, then MIL came and took her in with them and DS and DH and I had a cuddle in bed on a morning.