A friend has asked me for some advice about her her ds (he's 3.10) but I have no experience of this. But I knew where to come! Here's what she says (they're in China btw, though not Chinese!).
"What do you do about other kids teasing your children? More specifically girls. Two of the girls who live around here are constantly teasing him, shouting at him and telling him that he can't play with them or on that slide swing, whatever. It didn't particularly bother me for the past year because they played in one area and I would just take Isaac over to play with a little boy the same age as him. He has now moved awy and we are just left with the girls. So now they tease him or shout at him and push him and guess what he hits them. So then theres screams and tears, Isaac hit me. I feel like saying, quite frankly I want to hit you too. But obviously I just end up telling Isaac not to hit them.
I spoke to their parents about it one day when they happened to be outside with them and they were both very apolegetic and told their kids to stop teasing Isaac. But mostly they are just with their Ayis who think the greater crime is the hitting and ignore everything else. I feel so bad for him he is so desparate for someone to play with after school and their are no little boys left here now."
Why can't he go find other children to play with? If I were the mum I would try to hover over him and interupt the girls every time they said anything nasty, can she do that? Means no sitting down to relax & drink a cup of tea while he plays, but sometimes that's what you have to do.
ds1 was teased at school and teachers did nothing. in the end he punched the kid who was doing it (who was much older and larger than him). head rang me to say ds had hit someone and once i knew who it was i refused to tell him off (i explained it wasnt a good thing to do but he was not in trouble). the bullying stopped. i am and still, despite this being a year ago. some kids are just horrid. if their parents wont do anything i dont see what you can do. could he go to an afterschool club or join beavers or something? my kids love that sort of thing. i would be careful not to tell him off in front of these girls because that is another victory for them
Thanks for the replies, everyone. He's only part-time at an international school atm and they live in a mixed community of Chinese/other nationals (mostly German and Dutch I think, not with English as first language). Friends are Irish. Ayis are somewhere between nannies and childminders, I think: live-in childcare but unqualified. I think they're a bit limited in out-of-school activities too. Hmmm, will ponder and get back to her. Thanks again.