I'm starting to feel the strain(23 Posts)
Ah rickman! I had to smile when I read your post because I've felt the same way so many times. That probably doesn't make you feel any better! The number of times I have desperately wanted to walk out on the screaming kids, the tip of a house, another meal to cook, another shop to do, another bath to give, another day to get through on little sleep and no patience... there are days (and nights) when I think most of us mums feel this way. You think it won't get better but it usually does after a good night's sleep. If you still feel this awful tomorrow, let me know. Hugs.
God Rickman, I could have written (most of) your post at times during the last year and i've only got 2. It must be really hard with 4 (?). I did exactly the same with ds and the solids anyway - 22 weeks is better than 16.
Don't listen to your mum - it's quite possible he's just a whingy kid.
I think you need:
a morning off
a cleaning day - how old are your older kids? Can they help in a kind of mary poppins way?
maybe an hour or two doing something nice with ds1 so you won't feel so guilty?
possibly not practical suggestions, I know.
You know rickman, when you emailed me the other week about my relationship probs, i remember thinking that you were fantastic to bother to do something like that for me when you have soooooo much to deal with yourself.
You are on you own with 4 kids, you are bound to have off days, but that doesn't make you a bad mum or anything like that. Don't give yourself such a hard time, you are doing a great job.
And for what it's worth, my house is a tip too.
Holidays can be rough can't they? I'm sorry you're feeling bad today. Chuck them all in bed and have a lazy night with a video and some icecream. My eldest two have been a total pita today so that's what I'm doing
Re the 6 mth weaning thing. You haven't let anyone down. You did what you had to do and thats all. I hope you feel better soon and hopefully we can get this Godstone farm meet up sorted as well!?
God rickman,sounds like you're having a pretty tough time. I really admire you for your toughness and resiliens in going it alone. I hope that sahara (I think it's her) who is on the other thread talking about how much she hates her pig of a man and wishes he would leave, reads your post and learns that although difficult, it's not impossible.
The 22 weeks thing????? Forget it!!
Doesn't even register a flicker on the 'Ten million things that mothers should feel guilty about' ometer.
I think doing something alone with you ds would do you both good too.
rickman, when my eldest was born, the Magic age for weaning was 12 weeks (I kid you not!). Not a day later, whether the baby was ready or not. 18 months later they'd decided that weaning should be at 4 months, but having done the baby rice thing earlier with DD, DS1 got it at 12 weeks too. :O
My house is a tip & mine are all old enough to help clean it (& don't). If I were you I would choose to do nothing tomorrow except the obvious feeding/dressing etc & just veg out...
I'm sorry you're still feeling so down today. Hopefully the afternoon 'off' will help. I wish it was nice and sunny as that might lift your mood a bit.
Is your place private or council? When we got our flat we had the same thing - all the carpets the previous tenants put in were ripped up and we've just got very nasty stained/broken concret tiles. We've just got rugs as I refuse to carpet a place I'm so desperate to get out of! I think I'm shooting myself in the foot though
When we first moved in we bought a long rag rug from IKEA for the hall (I think it was only about £15?) Argos do the long see through plastic protector things quite cheaply - it might be good to have a combination of the two as a temporary measure?
TBH I was trying to remember where you lived (Kentish?) 'cos we drove down to SILs to coo at my new nephew this afternoon, she lives near Hartfiels (Winnie the pooh country ) and I kept getting that 'wonder if I'm near a MNer?' feeling. I usually feel like that walking around Croydon. I have to resist the urge to stand up and yell 'any MNers here?'.
Must get my MN car shade out......
You have to go into the other products part of the website that has the MNshop and customise it with the MN design.......I might have the only one in the country
Hi, rickman, hope you'r eokay today. I think you're doing fanatstic. My house is a tip and I've only got two!
Just wanted to say re the weaning thing, I held off to six mo with my dd2 and now wish I hadn't, she is really fussy and wants milk all the time, I wish I'd started her sooner. The hv thinks I missed her 'window'. So if your ds was hungry I think you did exactly the right thing.
I can sympathise and I've only got 2 - DD1 (2.11) is definitely trying out the terrible 2's and DD2 (11 months) is tearaway terminator child!! I have an ironing pile that is taller than me, and every time the house is tidy, in the blink of an eye, it looks like an explosion in a toy shop!! The last couple of days, I have been fighting the urge to return to work full time with extra overtime!!! I think perhaps its something in the Kent water - I'm in Swanley!!
rickman exactly the same thing happened with myDS3! Having seemed mad keen on solids at first he then wasn't interested in them for a few weeks.
Has he been unwell? My DS3 was quite under the weather for a while and was also very whingey. I know what you mean about feeding all night - this is exactly what DS3 was doing.
My advice fwiw is leave it a few weeks and then try again on solids. And then don't waste too much time on the baby rice/fruit puree stage - I found that DS3 was much keener on solids when I started giving him mashed up "proper food".
As for bedtime with the others I can only sympathise. Mine do have a pretty strict bedtime routine as it is the only way I can cope, and that is with having both of us around to put them to bed most nights.
In case it's any help, here's what we do:
DS1 and DS2 don't have a bath each night, they take it in turns. Whoever's turn it is has their bath at the same time as I bath DS3. I get DS3 out and dry him and dress him while the older one is still in the bath, then DS3 plays on the bathroom floor (or whinges on the bathroom floor) while I get the bigger one out dried and dressed. The two older ones then have supper and watch a video while I breastfeed DS3 and put him down. At 7.15 -7.20 or so I or DH go down and start making "nearly time to go up" noises at the kids, and at 7.30 p.m. sharp the video is switched off and they have to go upstairs no matter how much they whine. Then it's teeth clean and a choice of having bedtime stories OR having a brief play in their bedtime until lights out at 8 p.m. at the latest.
Lastly, please don't be too hard on yourself. You have absolutely climbed mountains since last year. You are doing brilliantly and you are really an inspiration, you know. hang on in there.
How you doing today harman? Did you get any kip last night?
DS3 woke up at 3.30 a.m. and it took me an hour, and two breastfeeds, to get him back to sleep, then I couldn't get back to sleep myself for ages. Weirdly however when I did go back to sleep I was dreaming about you and your DS2 (not that I've ever met you or him, of course)...
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