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Is it awful of me to sit at my computer mumsnetting while my only 7yo ds sits rotting his brain watching telly

(19 Posts)
chocaddict Mon 03-Nov-08 09:42:01

The thing is with my ds is that if I come up with a suggestion to do something together he is never interested anyway and I find it difficult to motivate him and get him going.
However I always feel guilty if I sit upstairs on my computer while he sits downstairs watching telly.
If I mentiona trip to the library, the park, etc he doesn,t want to know.
He shows enthusiasm if his mates call for him and will go off for a ride with them on his bike and he loves having a friend over for the day but when its just me and him its terrible.
I feel disapointed at times as parenting isn,t how I would have like it I imagined me and my child having fun together but instead I am left with a uninterested grumpy so and so.

dinny Mon 03-Nov-08 09:45:03

hmmmm, is this a boy thing? ds (4) is much harder to get to play with me than dd

frumpygrumpy Mon 03-Nov-08 09:48:13

Its not wrong its fine. And you need to find something you can successfully do together. Ask him!

Tell him you have some time and wondered if there is anything, anything AT ALL, that he'd like you to do with him. Then be prepared to say yes!!!! grin

Don't make suggestions, let him suggest. Any centres near you with climbing walls?

SlartyBartFast Mon 03-Nov-08 09:48:41

i think yoiu just have to do it, the trip to the library etc.,
i spect his grumpiness is catching, you are both feeling a bit out of sorts.
i know how you feel.
have you asked him what he wants to do today?

i sometimes say It is a Secret - we are going out and that's that. otherwise i can face so much negativity, i can't get out of the house, and thats from 3 of them!

BiggestFirework Mon 03-Nov-08 09:50:36

Sometimes it's nice just to stay in chilling out. My 8 year old sounds much the same as yours.

mellyfriedonionsonahotdog Mon 03-Nov-08 09:51:37

i feel you!

i console myself with the fact that some days, i don't fancy doing much at all, and i guess that kids feel the same too....

i agree with frumpy....let him suggest and just do it!!

maybe in return he will do somthing that you would like to do (obviously child orientated!! wink)

3monkeys Mon 03-Nov-08 09:52:39

My DS1 is 9 and watch tv/ play playstation all day if I let him!
Yesterday I declared a no screen day, so once he'd watched Match of the day in the morning, we had nothing on. The house was lovely and peaceful and they all found things to do that they wouldn't have done otherwise. I find that easier than the constant 'can I have the telly on?'

S1ur Mon 03-Nov-08 09:55:02

I think the occasional tv rotting is fiiiiine.

I intend to do that a lot today. My dd is a bit off colour (and diarrhea last night) so I anticipate lots of 'down' time sprinkled with occasional book reading.

You may see me here a bit more today wink

chocaddict Mon 03-Nov-08 09:55:04

Okay thanks I have tried that sort of approach with him and I always get I don,t know and then he carries on watching the telly I suppose I should turn it off however that would cause terrible problems.
He just doesn,t seem to show enthusiasm at anything he loves playing computer games but will only play with his dad as he thinks I am rubbish at them.
However I don,t like him playing on those too much anyway.
I know that I need to be srtonger with him but sometimes he is so difficult that I haven,t got it in me he is like a mini teenager so I always end up resorting to my own thing on the computer.

SlartyBartFast Mon 03-Nov-08 09:58:27

how about going out to eat, would he like that, that is a treat my dd (8) would like, and buying something <<for her>>

chocaddict Mon 03-Nov-08 09:58:36

Well he is off school today as he had stomach ache and vomiting last night.
However he seems fine today but I have kept him off as a precauction.
I suggested that we get some board games out but I just got no I don,t want to do that I am switching the telly on.

SlartyBartFast Mon 03-Nov-08 09:59:12

oh well - perhaps he is tired.

sweetkitty Mon 03-Nov-08 10:00:35

My three aren't even dressed yet, two oldest both full of cold and off nursery, I am really unmotivated today.

chocaddict Mon 03-Nov-08 10:02:16

I think he is enjoying the day off school just sitting watching telly and once again I have resorted to mumsnett.
I suppose I should go and check he is still there.

Eniddo Mon 03-Nov-08 10:03:21

I think it is fine occasionally but not if it happens all the time, no.

Eniddo Mon 03-Nov-08 10:04:32

don't YOU need to go out? thinking about it mine come out with me because I want to go out - to the supermarket, library, to see a friend and they obviously have to come with me.

Eniddo Mon 03-Nov-08 10:06:00

And if YOU sit on the pc all day what kind of message are you giving him?

sorry, I'll shut up now. wink

chocaddict Mon 03-Nov-08 10:12:29

Well I could have done with going out but I will have to knock it on the head today with him being off school.
That beside even when it is okay to go out I have a terrible time motivating him and the worse time is if its a visit to my parents he hates that with a passion for some reason.

TinySocks Mon 03-Nov-08 10:19:46

I don't think you need to do something with him all the time, but I do think that children are depending on TV far too much for entertainment these days. I know I did when I was a child, and I resent that my mum allowed it to happen.

If I were you I would limit the amount of time he can spend on the TV daily (to 1 hour for example), and after that he would need to find another way of keeping busy. I think this will help him become a much more resourceful and imaginative person in the long run.

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