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SAHMs who 'gave up' their career - do you have those days...?

(10 Posts)
kittkat Thu 30-Oct-08 09:12:58

...where you hanker after jobs you see advertised and feel frustrated that you can't apply?

I made the choice not to go back to work after DC2 was born - and I don't take for granted that I am lucky enough to be in the position that I am able to stay at home with them. But I can't help having those days where I miss having a job to get out of the house and immerse myself in every day.
Don't get me wrong, 90% of the time I cursed my job for being so stressful, all-consuming and inflexible before I had babies, so I know it was the right decision to not go back - not exactly a family-friendly job.

Recently I decided that I would keep my eye out for part-time positions in my field (while trying to establish myself on a freelance basis and seeing which one takes off first!), but all I see advertised are really good full-time positions with great pay, that I can't apply for as I don't want to work ft hours...

On the flip side, many days I feel so lucky to be able to spend all my time with DS and DD and guilty for even feeling like I want to work again.

Just would like to hear from others in the same position and just generally have a whinge smile

needmorecoffee Thu 30-Oct-08 09:14:19

once in a while but as I gave up 17 years ago you do get used to it.
But am now thinking of the world of work etc and haven't the faintest idea what I would do.

penona Thu 30-Oct-08 09:18:33

Yes I feel a bit like that sometimes. I guess it is normal really. When I was working I used to look at friends staying home with children and envy that, so I think it's just human nature to have a little hankering after the lives we don't/can't lead.
I do find the lack of decent part-time work depressing though.

SqueakyPop Thu 30-Oct-08 10:06:55

I didn't for the first 6 years of my time off, but did towards the end (which is why it became the end).

When I stopped working, I assumed it would be forever - but feelings and priorities change.

I loved being off work, and achieved a lot in those 8 years, and I am very happy being back.

There's a season for everything.

TeenyTinyTorya Thu 30-Oct-08 10:14:31

I was able to keep my career going when I had ds, but with dc2 on the way, I imagine that I'll have to give up for a while. I'm already looking at casting calls and thinking "darn I can't audition for that". I'm hoping to get as much work in as possible before I start showing, and then look out for roles advertising for pregnant women! grin

needmorecoffee Thu 30-Oct-08 11:32:04

mind you, I don't miss the whole wearing of neat clothes and having to be places at certain times. I like pleasing myself.

cupcake78 Thu 30-Oct-08 13:02:48

I understand exactley how you feel. I still look at the jobs page and see things that I think I would like to do. But I made the decision to say at home, unless something I can't refuse pops up then this is where I will be for the few short years my ds needs me.

I feel really lucky that I can spend the time with ds that alot of my friends would love to do but financially just can't.

There are days when I crave work, if simply for the social side and being respected for being me not just mum. I get frustrated with the mundane aspects of home, washing, ironing, continual tidying up and the lack of privacy is a biggy at the mo.

But days like today, when its cold and dark in the morning and I can stay in the house, or go for a walk with DS and come home for a cuppa and playtime I think i'm a very lucky mummy.

There are plenty of years for me to work later on when ds has grown up abit more.

kittkat Mon 03-Nov-08 16:00:44

Hi cupcake - your message really put things into perspective for me. It is only a few short years that I have the option to look after them full time. Its hard to get used to 'just' being at home though isn't it? Do you mind me asking, what did you do before DS came along? Do you ever worry that you won't be able to get back into it when he starts school?

ComeOVeneer Mon 03-Nov-08 16:05:14

Cupcake does sum it up well. I make sure I have other activities to stimulate my mind and ensure adult interaction. I am learning the piano, I am chair of the PTA. I agree it is such a short time they seem to need us.

FOr instance today dd had an inset day (and dd was at nursery all day) instead of the hassle of finding childcare or having to take a day off work, I was able to relish a day with just my girl (a rare event since her younger brother appeared on the scene). We went shopping, went to see High School Musical 3 at the cinema and out for lunch. Makes it all worthwhile days like that grin

Morloth Mon 03-Nov-08 16:10:26

I kinda jump and change between working and not working. Am currently a SAHM at the moment to get boy settled at school and get myself into shape for another baby.

Will probably go back temping part time in January if a nanny share I am trying to set up with a friend works out.

The thing to remember is that you can chop and change if you like, right now I am focusing on babies/kids but am intending to actually push forward with a career when they are a bit older.

I am loving having the time to attend stuff at DS's school and working out every day, its fab - and I will also enjoy it when I am back at a desk. There isn't really a right way with kids, there is only what suits the family at any given time.

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