Is this irresponsible? I need your honest opinions please.

[CarofromWton]

I have bought 3 advance cinema tickets for my 2 DDs and 1 friend for tomorrow morning to see High School Musical 3.

DD1 and her friend are 10 and very sensible. DD2 is nearly 5. The older two want to be able to go and see the movie and say they will sit DD2 between them and watch her through the film (even take her to the loo if she needs it). My original plan was to see them into the movie, wait around for a few minutes then go around the shops (which are on the same complex as the cinema for an hour) then return before the film ends to pick up the 3 girls. I have given DD1 a mobile phone just to use whilst I am away and she knows how to contact me if she needs to.

However, I feel uncomfortable leaving DD2 with them, even though it's just whilst the film is on. I have now suggested that I should also buy a ticket and I shall sit at the back just in case DD2 needs me. DD1 has had a fit about this and is in tears, saying she was looking forward to feeling a bit more grown-up!

I know I can't really win this, but I would appreciate your thoughts - am I wrong to leave the three girls alone during the film, or not?

[MerlinsBeard]

i wouldn't leave them. in any case your DD1 won't be allowed to use the phone nor be able to (and would she miss the film to use it anyway?)

[RubyShivers]

you feel uncomfortable so you won't relax, so on that basis i wouldn't do it

I think it is quite a responsibility for a 10 year old to be in charge of a 4 year old in a public place

i think it is nice your DD wants to do it, but perhaps she isn't ready

[lazarou]

I would let the older girls go on their own and take the little'un yourself.

I don't know how grown up a five year old can be though, mine are only 2 and 3.

[KnobblyBoneForkHandles]

can you take a book and just wait outside the screen just in case DD2 starts being a pain or has had enough before the end, it's quite a long film for a little one. I'm not sure I'd leave DD2 with them.

[pookybear]

Your instincts as a mum are telling you what you want to do. For reassurance I would offer this: I was assaulted on a bus in the middle of the day on my way home from my ballet class. I was 12 years old and very sensible, the man sat next to me and did what I now understand but didnt then. I have never forgotten it. Cinemas attract all sorts and some of them look out for children on their own. Ten is still quite young to be responsible for another child imo.

[janeite]

I wouldn't. But then I wouldn't leave ten year olds either so had to endure the agony of HSM yesterday afternoon myself.

[Dttoydto]

I wouldn't leave DD2 with them. I'm sure they would intend to look after her really well, but they're young and you don't know how your DD2 will react.

I took ds's (6 and 4) to see a film yesterday and I had to nip out for a wee - I was less than 2 minutes. Ds1 was fine but ds2 was jittery and was stood up waiting for me when I came back. It was fine, but he wasn't happy at being left.

I'd get yourself a ticket and sit as far away from your DD1 as you can and not bother them - best you can do? Or take your DD2 on another day and let your DD1 go with her friend?

[CarofromWton]

Thanks everyone - I'll sit and think about this for a while.

[pointygravedogger]

I'd do it. You know your dds and you know how sensible they are.

Is there a coffee/bar at the cinema? Could you at least have a coffee, read a book and feel better by being closer?

[muggglewump]

I's stay as close as possible with a book just incase.
If you're still unsure about that can you sneak into the cinema after them?
You'll be there and will no doubt spot a major commotion should it happen but they will have no idea you are there if it all goes to plan?

[twinsetandpearls]

I would let them but sit with a brew and a book.

[wheresthehamster]

If you're not sure, buy a ticket secretly and sit at the back. If it all goes well for the first half hour or hour then nip out for a coffee. You can always check back!

[Kazann]

I have left my 10 year old at cinema with a friend before but 5 year olds are so unpredictable and the older girls may have good intentions and feel growen up about being in charge of a younger child but when it actually comes down to it are they really going to be happy about missing the film to take the little one to the toilet (that could be several times for a 5 year old). Are you going to relax enough to go round the shops, you don't sound very sure to me.
Like Pookybear i was involved in a not very pleasant incident when i was 8 and i will never forget that. i personally would not leave two 10 year olds in charge of a 5 year old, but its your choice at the end of the day.

[tartetatin]

It's so hard, isn't it, to know when to let go a little bit and allow them a little freedom. We all have battery children these days who have no independence, are carted every where in a nice warm car and are never put in any situation where slight risk is involved. I think a lot of us will have been subjected to some form of minor abuse as children. I was flashed at twice and felt up at a church fete. Yes, I still remember them but I don't blame my Mum for having let me go and play tennis or for having let me go to the fete on my own. And I am glad that I had the independence I had.It is just life unfortunately.
Have you spoken to the other girl's mum about it? She might not be comfortable with her daughter being partly responsible for your younger girl. I think I would let the ten year olds go and endure the film with your four year old on another occasion. Is there another suitable film showing at the same time perhaps?

[CarofromWton]

The decision - I've just called the cinema and bought myself a ticket!

The two older ones can go in by themselves and I'll sit at the back with the little one and take her out if she gets restless. Not sure if everyone's happy with the decision (but I'm used to that - part of being a mum)

Really looking forward to HSM3 now (even the woman on the phone was laughing at me having to sit through this dross!)

Anyway, I feel happier knowing all the girls will be safe.

Thanks again everyone.

[Dttoydto]

Aww - sounds good and hope you all manage to have a good time!

[CarofromWton]

Film wasn't too bad in the end - I even convinced my 4-year old to "wait a bit so Mommy can watch the end of the film" before I took her to the loo!