im a reg. (red rugs, judge flounce,Knicker elastic for crimbo, sausage rolls, fruit shoot and grapes at the till)
I am sat her in tears because despite being very highly qualified in dealing with children with challenging behaviour i just cannot cope with DD.
She is 4. she has an older brother who has ASD and yet i have never felt so useless as i do with her.
I can't explain it really. she is incredibly clingy but also very manipulative( how the fuck can a 4 year odl be manipulative) she throws tantrums about everything, she screams over the slightest thing, she is spitefull to her brother and has started to be agressive.
I cannot even go to the toilet without her kicking the door and screaming.
it all sounds so trivial written down. She is 4 FFS! and here i am in a right state.
I have actually said that i hate her and if im honest i have had to walk away from her because i have wanted to hit her. I never have and never would of course, but jus the fact that i have felt myself want to disgusts me.
I know that some of it may be that i am just stressed over other stuff (don't really want to divulge as it would give me away - in case you havent already worked out who i am)
I actually spoke to my mum about it today because i was tempted to call in SS myself.
she goes to pre school for 2 hours a day and if im honest i actually feel my mood depress slightly when it comes to collecting her.
I can't stand being around my daughter and it is killing me. I love her with all my heart, that goes without saying. but she really is horrible most of the time...but only ever for me.
Today for example, i collect her from pre school. she comes running up to me for a cuddle and kiss like always. i pick her up and we have a cuddle, she says "i want a sausage roll" i said that i didn't have any but we cold go to the shop and see what we could find. she erupted into a tantrum. screaming and crying and yanking at my bag.
as we walked out of the door one of teh staff asked her if she wanted a cake (someone had had a birthday) instantly she returned to sweetness and light and took a cake, said thank you and smiled.
as soon as we were outsde and teh door was shut she was back into full swing tantrum.
We went to the shop just outside the pre school, she chose her sausage roll. tehn she started screaming that she wanted them opened. i said that we had to pay first. more screaming and shouting that she wanted them open, standing in front of me tryimg to push me back.
i tried distracting her by asking if she wanted a drink as well. we walked to teh fridge with teh drinks and i asked her whch one she would like (she was still whingy) finally she stopped, scowled and said "just buy me one"
(it is not unusual for her to be this rude to me - she really is like a stroppy teenager a lot of the time)
I got her one of those capri drink's (that or cola. crappy shop) when we were walking out she started again whinging abotu opening them. i went to open her drink when she screamed she wanted to do it, i gave it to her and it squirted at her when she put the straw in. she now screams "thanks a lot" and is whinging some more.
we get to teh car and i she is tantruming about not wanting to get in her seat, i push her in and put the straps on, lots of kicking and screamin.
screaming all teh way home, refuses to get out of the car. i drag her (not quite drag her buy ynwim) out of teh car and bring her inside. she slumps in teh hall and continues whinging and shouting she hates me and wants her dad (he is a twunty arsehole)
i go to the kitchen and blub.
she is like this all day every day.
I do not know how much longer i can go on like this. every time i think its a stage and she will grow out of it she deos....but the next stage always seems worse!
please dont flame me...im not usually fragile but i am tonight
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Dont Flame me, im emotional as it is. I can't cope with DD
38 replies
AshamedAwfulMum · 15/10/2008 22:33
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