Etreme mood swings talk of suicide in a 9 year old boy

[babalon]

I have just come back from DS1's school where I had been asked to meet with his class teacher and head. He has been shutting down (not talking or doing anything) when he is asked to do things he's not happy about. He has always had a tendancy to do this but it is getting worse at home and even more so at school.

He refused last week to write 5 sentences in literacy and refused to do anything. The head toke him to his office and made them do it there. He wrote
I hate my life and want to die
I will commit suicide
I hate all teachers in this school
My life is miserable
Why can't I just be able to die

A few times over the summer his big sister(11) wond him up and he lost the plot once kicking my front door in and another 2 times getting knifes out of the draw and threatening to stab DD.

He is a very bright sensitive child and is the one who causes me least trouble. Very cuddly. His home live is very stable me and DH don't argue he plays football goes to cubs and is popular.

Last year he was admitted into hospital with croup like symptons on the second day in the staff wouldn't give him any treatment as his breathing got worst and he ended up arresting and ventilated on icu for 4 days. I would say his shut downs and moods have got more extreme and dark since then but that could just be a coincidence

I don't know what to do because he shuts down if we try to talk to him and says nothing is wrong. School head says theres no point them refering him to phycologist because the waiting list is too long. How do I handle this before he hurts himself or someone else?

Sorry it's so long thanks for reading

[wahwah]

School are stupid. Go to GP and ask for urgent referral to camhs.

[MrsWeasley]

I second what wahwah said about going to the GP,

Take him, let them investigate and see if there is a reason for this change. Then you can find ways to sort it out.

Maybe even ask to see the school nurse, who can start the ball rolling and he will have someone at school who will work with him.

[NoblesseOblige]

go through school nurse. bypass school completely if at all possible. ds (for totally different reasons) was referred to see counsellor last year when he was 7/8 - did him lots of good. all done through school nurse and child and family mental health team.

sympathy for you, it is awful when you can't "get" to your child

[babalon]

Wah wah what does camhs stand for?

Have made appointment to see GP next Wed, how do I contact the school nurse?

[dinasaw]

CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.
Ask the Head for a supporting letter to take to the GP and also a copy of the sentences he wrote in Literacy to take with you.
I'm not sure how you would contact your school nurse. Maybe ask the secretary?
Can you talk to him and find out if there is an adult he would talk to? Make some suggestions of people he could talk to about things. Aunty? Uncle? Grand parents? An adult friend of the family? Explain he could talk to them in confidence. Introduce him to the idea of Childline and explain it is anonymous and wouldn't show up on the phone bill/ no-one would know he had called.
It might also be an idea for you to mention, in confidence, to his cub leader/football coach that something is up with him and could they keep an eye on him and feed anything back as you are taking him to the GP. You wouldn't have to mention anything more to them.

[wahwah]

babalon, sorry first post was so short-was trying to manage baby on boob and type single handed.

Glad to hear you're sorting things out and you have managed to bypass the school to get support. It does make me very angry when they wash their hands of children who are having a hard time, I can only imagine they get very anxious about it and don't really know what to do. I can see that dinasaw has answered your question about camhs, so good luck.