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Just proud of my son - little boast but hopefully justified..........

(39 Posts)
lisalisa Tue 26-Aug-08 10:12:46

Just wanted to post really about how proud i am of my ds1. He's 9 yrs old now but when he was 4 weeks old he contracted bacterial meningitis which was misdiagnosed by the hospital and mismanaged and is lucky to be here.

Although thankfully he survived without amputations/brain damage, when he started school at age 4 it became clear that top of the class he wasn't going to be. The ravages that his little brain had suffered meant that he just wsan't ready to learn. At the end of reception he still didnt know his ABC let alone learnt to read.

I knew in my heart that he was bright however due to the types of queitons he would ask etc - just that academically it was all a bit of a struggle. Over the next 2 years - in Yrs 1 and 2 I put in momumental effort to hlep ds with tutors and my help every night. I was used to , at parents evenings , the teachers commenting as to what a gorgeous chld he was ( and he is - helpful, polite, well mannered and poupular - always ready to lend a hand and welcome a new kid into the class ) but , academically, well..........

not for the purposes of tortunring myself but on a need to know basis I always used to ask where he was p[ositinoed in te class. Of course teachers hate to tell you this if it is not good as it is unnecessarily negative but I believe it is our right to know if our chldren are top, middle or bottom as we can get a benchmark on how they were doing.

All through yrs 1 and 2 it was inevitably bottom - maybe wiht one other hcild but always bottom. Always asked and pressed for truth but it still hurt......

during yr 3 noticed a change that ds started to love maths .... didn't think much of it as most of his answers were all wrong but at least he liked it and encouraged that. His form tutor also told me of his enthusuaism for history and we encouraged that. His contributions to class discussions were always highly rated - he was articulate and interesting and interested. he just couldn't put down on paper. However he continued to imporve during yr 3 and managed to end between bottom and middle - a massive improvement.

However - this post is really about yr 4 that he has just finished. When casually speaking to his teacher about his end of yr tests I asked whehter he was at bottom or a bit higher. She expressed slight surprise and said " oh no, Mrs Lisalisa - ds is ABOVE class level for maths and on class level - at middle for english and science. "

" are you sure" was my reply to which she produced ds results - 68% in maths and 55% in english and science. I burst into tears..... I literally oculd not believe it.

Also ds never read books . Ever. He loved me to read to him but would never read due to his insecurity that he would be able to read them. I bought for one of his friends a book that a lot of hte boys had been toaking about reace ntly and ds expressed an interest in it. It was quite an expensive book and I had bought it for this child as I knew he wanted it and would find a good home. I bought it for ds thinking it would remain on his shelves but to my surprose he wanted more and read it ocver to cover.

That sprung on to more reading and he is now an avid reader.

What really prompted this post was the fact that on my 11 yr old dd's reading list for high school was a book by Michael Morpugo that my 9 yr old ds just finishe dna enjoyed. That really crowned his achievement and when I showed him the list and his book the smile that enveloped him ear to ear was worth millions.

" I no longer have a funny brain do I mum?" he said. And i had to say " No darling - you are now reading ahead of your age and are also ahead in maths. Bloody well done"!. smile

theressomethingaboutmarie Tue 26-Aug-08 10:14:35

Oh that post makes me very tearful. Good for you and for your DS :-)

miamla Tue 26-Aug-08 10:16:08

what she said!

Lemontart Tue 26-Aug-08 10:16:33

Fantastic! What a lovely post to have read x

sarah293 Tue 26-Aug-08 10:17:54

Message withdrawn

corblimeymadam Tue 26-Aug-08 10:18:42

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Lizzylou Tue 26-Aug-08 10:19:17

Lisalisa, you have every right to be proud, what a wonderful story and what a lovely boy you have smile

MarlaSinger Tue 26-Aug-08 10:21:40

pollykettlechips Tue 26-Aug-08 10:22:11

That brought a wee tear to my eye and a big smile. That's really lovely. You must be feel on cloud nine. And well done to your DS. BIg hugs to you both.

edam Tue 26-Aug-08 10:23:00

Oh, well done ds! A really inspiring story.

fluffyanimal Tue 26-Aug-08 10:23:06

That's so fab. A lovely post to read first thing back at work after a Bank Holiday weekend! smile

lisalisa Tue 26-Aug-08 10:23:47

thank you. i am proud and tearful. I suppose it shows we just have to keep on wiht our childrne and believe in them no matter what.

I also think that sometimes when we do a good turn it comes back in leaps and bounds - the book I bought for ds friend was nearly £15 which is more than I could afford realy for a birhtdya present but I know this child wanted the book so I bought it. Ds was so interested by the title and the fact that all the kids in his class were talkig about this book and the series that he asked me to buy it for him. Another £15 just to sit o nthe shelves was a bit jarring but I bought it anyway hoping....... The fact that this was the start of his reading career has more than justified this and made me think really about the ripple effect of good turns ( this mum couldn't afford to buy her hcild the book and really thanked me as did the child)....

SlartyBartFast Tue 26-Aug-08 10:25:00

smile
lovely for you all

wuzzlefraggle Tue 26-Aug-08 10:27:09

what a lovely post Big well done to your ds!

ghosty Tue 26-Aug-08 10:30:44

lisalisa ... how absolutely wonderful .... smilesmilesmile
<blows nose vigorously> smile

lisalisa Tue 26-Aug-08 10:32:29

Thank you thank you smile smile

halogen Tue 26-Aug-08 10:34:41

That is fantastic. What a lovely lovely boast to be able to make (I mean boast in a good way)!

PandaG Tue 26-Aug-08 10:45:36

lovely, you must be so pleased. So good to hear a positive story!

HonoriaGlossop Tue 26-Aug-08 11:11:36

That post has NOT bought a tear to my eye

<scratches itchy eye>

I do NOT have a lump in my throat

<coughs loudly, must have bit of a bug>

Well done to your clever DS and well done to you for getting him to this stage; sounds like you have been totally committed to helping him but not pressuring, simply following his interests etc....

<sniff>

abouteve Tue 26-Aug-08 11:19:10

Well done to your son. It sounds as though his brain has caught up and some. Don't be surprised if he is top of the class later on in school.

Have you joined the library? It can be expensive feeding their constant need for books IME smile.

TheCrackFox Tue 26-Aug-08 11:34:31

Well done to your son. I would imagine that he will make even bigger achievements this year.

I am going to rant now, but it is ridiculous that 4 year olds are starting formal learning. Many are completely unready and it causes unnecessary heartache for parents and DCS alike.

lisalisa Tue 26-Aug-08 11:35:05

Thank you and abouteve - I was just thinking of that - each book is about £5 and I have bought about 7 or 8 in last month or so alone....don't want to discourage it though as both his elder and youngetr sisters aged 11 and 7 hate reading and as ds has now discovered it as a skill he cna do and something he enjouys to boot don't want to discourage. Will def think about joining library though!!!!

TheArmadillo Tue 26-Aug-08 11:36:41

well done him.

Definately justified.

lisalisa Tue 26-Aug-08 11:44:16

Yes thecrackfox - I hvae to agree. Having 5 kids I can see that devlopmental ages vary so widely. Ds was a special case as his brain had been affected and was not ready at all to start formal leearning at age 4. In fact it positively harmed him as by age 5/6 he understood that he could do nearly nothing in class compared to all these bright little girls ( as they nearly always were) who were speeding ahead wiht the reading schemes and spouting times tables). " What is wrong with me mummy" ds used to ask heartbreakingly. I always used to reassure him that nothing whatsoever was wrong until it got to the point that he needed to be told something inorder that his self esteem was not irrevocably affected . So i told him his remarkeable story of survival and that as his brain had been fighting most of hte bugs it needed most time to recover and would recover slowly but surely. Which it has.........

I could have done wiht being in Europe where they don't start formal leraning i am told until about age 6 with ds. Also in Israel they don't start until age 7!!! This wold have massively benefitted ds.

However - iwth my dd3 aged now 4, she is already reading and writing with next to no enocuragement from me as (1)I simply don't have the time, (2) I don't like producing precocious human beings who are way ahead and know it and (3) feel there is little point in teaching her the skills that reception is meant to as there's a risk she'll get bored and turn off and I might teach it different anyway.

by the way this is in no way a relection of those parents who do teach their bright achieving chldren before reception - just my perception that 's all.

So , yes, there is a massive difference in formal learning readiness and I do feel its a shame we have to start so young - i feel end of fifth year or beginning of r6th year of life to be so much more appropriate. In my very humble opinion, 4 yr olds should still be running about outside, modelling with play doh and painting rather than stressing about numbers and letters and trying to produce recognisable drawings and letters rather than free scribbling......

HonoriaGlossop Tue 26-Aug-08 11:45:07

Fox, I totally agree with you. My ds is one of those who simply aren't ready but the poor boy had to start school at JUST turned four. So he will have had THREE YEARS of formal education before he hits 7 which is the earliest possible age I feel he will be ready. And kids are not dumb; he knows very well that some of the kids can do far far better than him. DS also has some SEN which make it doubly hard sad

Luckily he is a very confident boy but it is a constant battle to make sure that he does not have this eroded by things like having to sit and do spellings when you A) can't read and B) can't write sad

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