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'gap' between children

(18 Posts)
pamelat Sun 13-Jul-08 19:18:40

My little girl is 6 months next week.
For the first 4 months of her life I swore that I would never have a baby again (excessive crying, sleep deprivation etc).
However, we have (started) to come out the other side and I am feeling a little broody.
I am 30 and I think that I would like either 2 or 3 children, all being well.
I got pregnant very quickly this time round (within 2 weeks) but I appreciate that it wont always happen like that. I am just conscious that if I want 3 children (and husband keen) that I need to crack on.
Also I feel that I may as well get the hard baby days 'out of the way' .. in regard to lack of sleep?
Was thinking that if I got pregnant later this year (again, if I am lucky enough to do so) that gives me 18 months between them already?
Does anyone have experience of having babies close together?

hatrick Sun 13-Jul-08 19:22:35

Message withdrawn

schneebly Sun 13-Jul-08 19:23:45

My boys have 17 months between them and honestly it is fab. Being heavily pg with a toddler was back breaking at times but I managed so anyone can grin When DS2 was bron I had no jealousy from DS1 and they absolutely adore each other. They play together really well now and often disappear upstairs to play for aaaages together. I wouldn't have it any other way. 2 in nappies is expensive though!

Poppychick Sun 13-Jul-08 19:23:54

I'd go for it! Your sentiments are exactly the same as mine although my DP wasn't keen so we had an 'accidental' pregnancy with #2 and have a slightly larger 22mth age gap.

Short term - harder, long term easier I'd say.

pamelat Sun 13-Jul-08 19:25:50

Thank you hatrick, I already feel pretty ancient and cant lose the baby weight (only a stone over pre preg weight to go). However, I am thinking that the longer we leave it, the more tired we will be - with age naturally.

I definately want a 2nd (will re think a 3rd after that!)

I just dont know whether to wait until she is 3 and partially paid at nursery or to crack on now and worry about the rest of it later. Instinct is telling me to do it now, and I really miss being pregnant (never thought I would say that, it was hard work!!)

Just not sure whether its hormones. My husband says that he is feeling particulary broody too though.

Elmosgirl Sun 13-Jul-08 19:29:57

Mine are 18 months apart, DD2 is 4 months now and so far things have been fine. But I have been very lucky that both are good sleepers.

The only downside for me is needing to have a double pushchair which is a pain, but apart from that I love having mine close together. No jealousy issues after the first day of bringing DD2 home, I doubt DD1 ever even remembers life without DD2. I can still spend loads of time with DD1 we just have a little spectator for our playing.

foxythesnowfox Sun 13-Jul-08 19:35:31

14 months between my two DSs. Its very hard work, physically and emotionally. 22 months between DS2 and DD1, 2.5 years between DD1 and DD2.

I wouldn't change it for anything. grin

juuule Sun 13-Jul-08 19:36:02

You think 30y is ancient?

I had my 2nd baby when I was 30y (my eldest was 2y9m). My 3rd arrived 16m later and my 4th 15m after that. It was hard work at times but I can honestly say I enjoyed it.

Another 5 followed those 4 and I had my last one at 43y9m. So, I would say go for it if that's how you feel.

But you have plenty of time if you'd rather wait a while. (I get the feeling you would rather not wait, thoughwink )

ChaCha Sun 13-Jul-08 19:42:07

DS1 and DS2 are 14months apart, DC3 will be 17months younger than DS2 and due in 3 weeks. For DS1 i think it's like DS2 has always been here and as they grow together they are playing well, including each other in everything and now they settle down together at nap time and night time with books and fall asleep holding each other, is truly sweet. Being PG with two small children has been hard (perhaps an understatement) but when i see what good company the two LO's are for each other i know it's the right thing.
Also, is great that they are young enough to still nap together of an afternoon - I still get some respite.
Good luck x

p.s. Hatrick, if you're there, congrats on DC4, you have given me some good 'small age gap' advice on previous threads x

yomellamoHelly Sun 13-Jul-08 20:04:31

Ds1 was 3.2 when ds2 was born and it's been fantastic. Ds1 started school within weeks of ds2 being born, so we've always had our mornings together. We'd started trying when ds1 was 15 months. I'd gotten pg with ds1 straight away but it didn't happen again! (wanted them closer to get it out the way). Would love a similar gap between ds2 and nr3, but accept that may be wishful thinking. Have recently started the ball rolling to start ttc in the autumn. Ds2 will be 2 at Christmas.
I'm 36 and can't believe I'll be in my forties by the time I get a job again.

m0nkeynuts Sun 13-Jul-08 20:10:33

Mine are 17 months apart and we're trying for #3 (youngest is 14mo). We wanted ours close together and, although it's hard work, I wouldn't change it!! They're already starting to interact with each other and I know they'll be good company for each other as they get older ... and we'll be out of the sleepless nights / nappies / bottle feed stages WAY sooner than if we'd spaced them out wink

dreamymum Sun 13-Jul-08 20:14:15

the smaller the gap the better! I have 20 months between first two and am due for third. i am also just 15 motnhs older than my sister.
the first year is very hard, but the rest of your life is much easier!
growing up, all my friends who had 3 year age gap with their siblings, were constantly in sibling wars. in those formative years 3 years is a very big gap.
meanwhile my sis and i have always been the best of friends, we also always had common enough intersts that my mother didn't have to double or triple coordinate all of our trips/ activities/school rides etc....

pamelat Sun 13-Jul-08 20:32:25

thanks all

Know it sounds silly but one of the reasons that I am a bit unsure if wondering what work would say!

I get a generous maternity package, 6 months full pay. Dont reckon they would be very happy, but then whats important in the long term!

Not sure quite how long I have to go back to work for, will check it out. Am due back in Jan,could go back pregnant (I am conscious that I say this as though its an easy thing, we may not be so lucky second time,I know that)

Thank you!

manuka Mon 14-Jul-08 15:12:29

I wish I'd been of sound mind enough to have number 2 by now. dd is 2 and all my friends with 2yr olds have new babies now. I now feel far too tired and probably won't have another cos the thought of going through baby stuff again is not appealing at my time of life (34 but feel 134). If I hadn't had such a shart time after dd I'd have 2 by now and probably be expecting a third! I will get a dog and hopefully a horse instead! So yes you've made the right decision to get on with it! Good luck

twinkleymum Mon 14-Jul-08 15:40:58

Reading with interest. My DD is 8mo and I would like to have another but don't know when either. I was thinking about trying again at the end of the year but I was only waiting that long because ideally I'd like to lose my extra weight first (still 2 stone heavier than I was before). My friend has an 18month gap between her DCs she said it was hard work but is much easier now (youngest is 3). I remember her second pregnancy being hard work as she hadn't recovered from the first ie bad back and ligament pain. Anyone know if this is common?

JoJessMar Mon 14-Jul-08 17:05:09

There are 18 months between my two, now coming up to 6 months and 2 years. Great gap for no jealousy, and hopefully they'll play together. Hard for the first few months because the toddler at 18months is still completely daft, but I would recommend it. It's starting to feel easier already and I like the idea of getting all the baby stuff out of the way in one big go!
30 seems young to me though, so I think there's plenty of time yet if that's the only issue.

LittleMoosh Tue 15-Jul-08 12:46:51

Mine are 4 years and 8 months apart. Didn't really want such an age gap but that's how it worked out. Have to say though, it's great as eldest (6 year old) is brilliant with his brother, no jealousy, no fighting they love each other heaps

2sugars Tue 15-Jul-08 12:50:10

God. Mine are 14 months apart and I would've changed that. Hats off to those of you able to deal with it!

What's the rush?

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