Toddler reaction to a brand new baby?

[Elisemum]

Hey mums, my son is 2,5 and next week he will have a little baby brother joining him:) of course we tried to prepare him, we talk about new baby, we told him baby will have a present for him etc- standard approach. Just wondering how did your toddlers welcome their siblings? Did they love them straight away? Or mostly ignored them? Or were they aggressive in any way?

[Aquamarine1029]

My son was 2.4 when his sister was born, and it was love at first sight. He adored her and still does 22 years later. They are very, very close.

[CaptainSpirit]

My eldest DD was 2 and a half when her baby sister was born, she was absolutely made up when she came home and saw her for the first time. They're 4 and 20 months now and love each other to pieces, proper little best friends.

I'm due their newest little sister in ten days and am hoping for the same reaction again from our 20 month old!

[ImNotWhoYouThinkIam]

DS1 was 2.2 when DS2 arrived. He mainly ignored him. DS2 arrived with a pack of cars which was a surprise for DS1. We also bought him his own "baby" for his 2nd birthday. He used to sit with me and we breastfed our respective babies
He did try and cut DS2s nails once. My fault for forgetting to put the scissors away. DS2 ended up with a small cut on his finger . I also once caught him using DS2 as a step to get onto the sofa
They are 17 and 14 now and get along well. They've have moments, mainly shouting and bickering, the very occasional slap. They claim to hate each other but you can see its not true! They spend 99.9% of their time laughing together about random shit.

[waxytimes]

DS1 was 2y2m when DS2 was born and it was love at first sight. When he came home from nursery, baby was in his sleepyhead (not my arms) and he was encouraged to say hello to his baby. It was always his baby not mine and he helped me with most things in those early days/weeks.

[Elisemum]

Ah that’s lovely to hear, we’re hoping for similar reaction. So far so good anyway, he says he is very excited and tells me baby brother can share his toys and his milk:) but sure we will see soon how much he really understands :)

[mamamalt]

As everyone else says DS loved his new sister from the start. They fight a bit more now that she's nearly 2 but play together too really nicely and are always each others friends!
I got distracted by @CaptainSpirit though as I am also due a little girl in 10days who will be our third and my DD will be 22 months! DS is 4 so looks like we have a similar set up!

[michellejj]

My son was 2.10 when his baby sister arrived. He didn't like sharing mummy and therefore didn't like her at the start, although he liked the toys that she "brought" home.
She is 1.5 now, and last week my son said he loves her for the very first time.

[CaptainSpirit]

@mamamalt

As everyone else says DS loved his new sister from the start. They fight a bit more now that she's nearly 2 but play together too really nicely and are always each others friends!
I got distracted by *@CaptainSpirit* though as I am also due a little girl in 10days who will be our third and my DD will be 22 months! DS is 4 so looks like we have a similar set up!

Ooh good luck @mamamalt!! Hope your two welcome their baby sister with open arms!

My 4 year old is really excited but I'm not sure how my toddler will react - keeping my fingers crossed that she just falls in love with her. 🤞🏻

[Jacky209990]

My Dd2 is 5 months now, my Dd 1 was 2.5 when she was born. Definitely not love at first sight. Did not and still has issues sharing attention with others. She's better now when it's just the girls and me, started to greet her in the morning, sing to her and play with her. She calls her, her baby. On leaving nursery she says "where's my baby".

[Wagglerock]

Just under 3yo for mine and he loved her to pieces from the off. Decidedly less convinced now she's crawling and keeps asking me if I can take her away.

[naughty40me]

Long time ago now but my son was 2.5 when his sister was born.
He was scared of her.
He hated the crying. It broke my heart to see him distressed but I was very emotional post birth which is normal.

His grandparents took him to their house for breaks, I didn't want him to feel pushed out but he needed a bit if respite for an hour or so each day.

This lasted for about 2 weeks.

DD developed hiccups one afternoon and he thought it was hilarious, came over to watch her closely.
Eventualy got him to hold her and he gave her a kiss.

I also bought him a doll so he could hold his "baby" while I breastfed and I got him to pass me baby wipes etc with lots of praise.

They've been best mates ever since...I have loads of videos of her just following him everywhere its so sweet.

They're teenagers now and I joke and tell them all about it.

I'm really glad I had the close in age but I'll never forget those first 2 weeks.

It will all be fine in the end whatever happens. 😌

[BertieBotts]

3yo is fascinated with new baby brother and very affectionate/protective. Sometimes too affectionate (wants to kiss/cuddle/pick up or turn head to look at him or force his hand open to hold his hand!) so you need to supervise 100% of the time.

Also has had a knock on effect on behaviour causing hyper spurts during which he can sometimes be a bit too manic or loud for baby or randomly come up and slap him! Again we just try to shield baby and supervise 100%. Try to stay calm when defusing these situations as well even though your instinct is to shout/grab/etc. Obviously do what you need to for safety but try not to come down too harsh on toddler - they are only little and their world has been absolutely rocked. It has settled a bit after 4 weeks here.

Make sure you give toddler one on one attention, have some activities that can be done one handed while you're holding the baby, give toddler suggestions of appropriate things they can do for/with baby, and talk to the baby just like you do the toddler "It's OK baby but you need to wait while I do big sister's shoes" etc so they don't feel it's only them who needs to wait and be good all the time. And if you can word things differently so it's not "You can't do that because it's bad for the baby" try things like "I am going to take the baby over here" or instead of "Mummy can't do this because of the baby" try "After I've finished feeding we can XXX"

[ManicPixie]

I was three when my brother was born and was an absolute shit to him. It’s one of my big regrets in life but I’ve no idea how my parents could have prevented it beyond arbitrary punishments. Not a helpful post I guess so I’ll simply add: good luck!

[Elisemum]

Thanks everyone, some very helpful tips and majority of responses seem to be very positive. I guess it’s a mixture of everything, child's character, parents behaviour etc. I’m just gonna have to wait and see, not long now 👍🏼

[DressedUpAtAnIvy]

Sheer delight. He’s always been her favourite person.

[EileenGC]

My mum’s best advice when having a small age gap is - focus on the toddler, not the baby. Try and stick to their routine and one-to-one attention because all the baby needs is sleep and milk those first few weeks. The toddler however, doesn’t need to feel like things are changing just because a new baby is here. Of course they change, but in their little minds it could be perceived the wrong way and they can become jealous or scared.

Talk to the toddler as you’d do before, the baby can be ‘ignored’ so they can see the relationship with mum and dad isn’t changing and they still love them just as much. The baby isn’t ‘stealing’ mum and dad.

[SummerHouse]

Hands down the best thing for me about motherhood is seeing the relationship between my two DSs. That was from the moment they met.

We took DS1 to pick a toy for DS2 before he arrived. I am not much of a keeper of things but I still have that toy.

We also bought DS1 a baby doll. That poor doll was mainly dragged around and thrown against walls. Yet when he met the actual baby he was very gentle and protective.

[DressedUpAtAnIvy]

School called me today because they keep going into each other’s open plan classrooms to say hello and hug and aren’t in the same bubble so really shouldn’t. So the immediate good relationship has definitely continued.

[Elisemum]

Ah that’s lovely, lovely stories to read. I’ve always wanted to have 2 babies cos I also think watching them grow and bond together is the best thing ever.

[bravelittlepenguin]

My DD is 19 months and I've just had another baby a few days ago. I was so's worried about how she would react as she doesn't normally like me to hold other babies and is a bit of a mummy's girl plus too young to understand the concept of a new baby but I shouldn't have worried at all. DD has been absolutely gorgeous with her- calls her baby and is keen to see her each morning. When I got home from hospital I made sure I wasn't holding the baby and gave DD lots of cuddles and fuss. We've had a few little gifts for her to make her feel special. DH takes DD out to the park etc so that I can rest and DD isn't bored. And we give DD lots of cuddles and affection and one on one time when we can. Seems to be going ok so far 🤞

[Doomscrolling]

The baby part is pretty easy. My experience is that the preschoolers/toddlers are very loving and welcoming to babies.

The tricky part was when the cute baby became a mobile and active oldster baby or toddler, and could mess up train sets/knock over duplo/generally wreak havoc on whatever precious things the older sibling had. That was the bit that needed carefully managing.

[Cas112]

I don't have a child so cant really comment but my friend has a toddler just over 2years old and gave birth 3 months ago to his brother, she text me a photo of them last night of him holding his baby brother finally saying this is the first time in 3 months he has even acknowledged his brother existed haha!

[MindyStClaire]

@Doomscrolling

The baby part is pretty easy. My experience is that the preschoolers/toddlers are very loving and welcoming to babies.

The tricky part was when the cute baby became a mobile and active oldster baby or toddler, and could mess up train sets/knock over duplo/generally wreak havoc on whatever precious things the older sibling had. That was the bit that needed carefully managing.

This is our experience so far. 2 year 3 month gap, DD1 adored DD2 when she arrived (still does). A year later and it's harder to manage as DD2 is on the move but not sturdy enough to be able to withstand the full onslaught of a three year old!

[MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat]

18 month gap so couldn’t really prepare him / explain what was going to happen. Initial reaction was disinterested but scared and upset when the baby was crying. Every photo I have of ds1 that first week he’s got a worried little look on his face bless him. After a week he picked up one of ds2’s bottles after I finished feeding him and put it in the baby’s mouth to feed him. After that he showed more interest, stroking his head, bringing him toys. Never had any jealousy and once he got used to him they’ve been great together. They are 2.9 and 4 now and very close.