PR Order

[Jade8886]

My child is now 6 months old. I got pregnant by a one night stand however I knew him briefly for two months prior.

He has 5 other children (the lady is one week older than my child). His other children are with the same women and they are in an on / off relationship. I’m aware that social services have been involved with his children in the past due to their mother and substance abuse. Currently I don’t think social services are involved.

I have a good job and offer my child a stable life. She is a happy and healthy little girl.

The father of my child did not want to be involved and we had no contact since I was 12 weeks pregnant up until this week. He has now decided he wants to be in her life. He is not on the birth certificate and I don’t want him having access to her as he is untrustworthy and unreliable. I don’t trust who he would have around her and that she would be safe.

I’ve heard along the grapevine that him and the mother of his other children are ‘off again’ and I feel that is the only reason he now wants to know.

If he takes me court to get a PR Order, how likely is it that it would be granted? I’m not sure if it will go that far as I think he will get bored and change his mind again. But he is saying that he will take me to court to be added to her birth certificate. I can’t explain how much this scares me. If I could trust him and his parenting skills I wouldn’t deny my child seeing her father. But I genuinely fear that she would come to harm as he would allow the mother of his children to be near her. (She is very unstable)

[FelicityPike]

IF he takes this to court, they will order a DNA test. Once paternity has been established he WILL be put on the birth certificate and have equal parental responsibilities as you.
Then he is perfectly entitled to seek contact. This is likely to be supervised for a (surprisingly) short period of time before unsupervised then overnight stays.
Sorry.

[Jade8886]

Thank you for your reply.

I’ll just need to pray that he will change his mind. I’m planning on moving abroad next month as I have a house there. If I move before he tries to take me to court can he demand that we come back?

[DominicRaabsTravelAgent]

Would they order overnights at such a young age though @FelicityPike?

[FelicityPike]

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

Would they order overnights at such a young age though *@FelicityPike*?

I’ve known children who’ve had overnights court ordered from 6 months when they started weaning and they’re bottle fed.
I think it’s different if breast fed.
I’m not saying I agree with this at all, but like I said I have known it happen a few times.

[FelicityPike]

@Jade8886

Thank you for your reply.

I’ll just need to pray that he will change his mind. I’m planning on moving abroad next month as I have a house there. If I move before he tries to take me to court can he demand that we come back?

No he can’t!
I would move ASAP and DON’T tell him your plans.

[DominicRaabsTravelAgent]

I’ve known children who’ve had overnights court ordered from 6 months when they started weaning and they’re bottle fed. I think it’s different if breast fed.I’m not saying I agree with this at all, but like I said I have known it happen a few times.

I can't image how I'd begin to feel.

[Jade8886]

Good, I’ll be gone by the end of next month. Obviously I was planning on coming back frequently to visit family. But if there’s a chance I could be coming home to a court order then I’m not going to take that chance.

She is a breast fed baby and I wasn’t planning on stopping until at least 1 year.

The contact I’ve had from his this past week has been relentless. Considering he’s not spoke to me since my first trimester he now feels like he can make demands. Twice he has asked how she is. But the rest of the messages he seems more interested in what i’m doing. Not once has he asked if she needs anything (not like I would accept it). He barely sees the children that he has with his on / off again partner. But he would like people to believe he’s the father of the year. And from when we was in contact before I fell pregnant if he was having his children for the night he would leave them with his mum whilst he goes out with his friends.

I honestly don’t think he has a genuine concern to see my daughter. It’s just a way of control.

I’ve felt sick to the stomach all day thinking that he could have access to see her. I come from a nice family and so far my daughter has had a stable and happy life. She’s not once heard a raised voice and has only ever been surrounded by love. He and his family swear in every sentence regardless if children are present or not.

The night I spent with him was the biggest mistake of my life. But the best outcome was that I have my little miracle who fills me with joy every day.

[DominicRaabsTravelAgent]

I know it's hard but only reply to any messages that are positive. So if he asks how's he is, send him a lovely text back with an update.

Any horrible texts, just ignore. So just like training a toddler really, it will be good practice for when DD is older

Will you be able to support yourself abroad?

[Jade8886]

Yes luckily the job I have at the moment is for a conveyancing company and my employer has said that I can continue to do the job abroad and just remotely log in

At the moment I’ve replied to his messages politely. But I’m just trying to bide my time until he’s gets bored and hopefully before we move and he tries to go down the legal route.

I’m all for fathers having rights to their children. But a father is someone who loves and protects their child. Although she is only 6 months old and that’s not a huge amount of time to have lost, it’s not like we was in a relationship or that he wanted anything to do with DD once I informed him I was pregnant (I wish I’d never told him to begin with). Hindsight
And if I thought he would be a good father and that I could trust DD with him that would be different. But I would fear for her safety. He would never harm a child but the mother of his children is unhinged and if she finds out that he has another child I’m unsure what she is capable of.

[Mama1980]

If he goes to court and paternity is established by DNA test then yes he will be granted PR and put on the birth certificate. Until he applies to the court you are free to do as you please in regards to moving etc. Once a court application is made, he could possibly apply for a interim order which could in theory could prevent your moving whilst paternity is established and as he is the father a contact arrangement would then be negotiated.

[Jade8886]

Thank you for your reply.

I genuinely think (and hope) that he will get bored in a few weeks and stop contacting me.

If he goes down the legal route and I’m already living overseas, where would this leave me if I was wanting to visit family in England? I know this sounds far fetched but are you aware if something would flag up on my passport when I return to the country?

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

@Jade8886

Thank you for your reply.

I’ll just need to pray that he will change his mind. I’m planning on moving abroad next month as I have a house there. If I move before he tries to take me to court can he demand that we come back?

Move quick OP!

[titchy]

Tell him you're delighted he's acknowledged parentage and you'll let the CMS know so they can start to deduct his earnings.
You won't hear from him again.