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Mum guilt with toddler & baby

(6 Posts)
waterlane Sat 16-Jan-21 22:04:00

I know everyone always talks about mum guilt but I'm really feeling it at the moment. My DD is 2 so you can really have fun with her and play games properly, do activities, chat, ask her what she wants to do etc. My DS is only 9 months and I just feel guilty that I can't do that much with him, even though I know he is still just a baby. Lockdown obviously doesn't help as i'd love to take him to a soft play, that's the kind of thing he'd love I think or a playgroup for a change of scenery. My DH is always reassuring me and saying he's a baby still, he just needs boob, food and cuddles and he's happy (which he is!) but I give myself a hard time. Does anyone else feel like this? I loved taking him to baby sensory but this has now stopped. Lots of my friends who have a couple of children say I've never taken my baby to a class in their life or done xyz but I just always feel guilty in some way!

OP’s posts: |
LouiseTrees Sat 16-Jan-21 23:55:47

Yeh don’t feel guilty but if you really want the classes there are some baby sensory and bookbug classes on zoom

waterlane Sun 17-Jan-21 11:37:15

It's not so much the classes, it's just feeling guilty that I can do more with toddler. It's hard to explain what I mean. Maybe it's just what happens with the second child!

OP’s posts: |
Ohalrightthen Sun 17-Jan-21 12:19:23

But when your DS is 2, and your DD is at school, surely you'll do all those things with him!? Don't feel guilty for not doing arts and crafts with a baby. That's just needlessly harsh. Cut yourself some slack.

PlantDoctor Sun 17-Jan-21 13:28:58

I expect he enjoys watching you and DD, and joining in where he can. Younger siblings always seem fascinated by their big brother/sister! I'm sure you play with him too?

user1493413286 Sun 17-Jan-21 13:29:12

I feel guilty about the fact that baby DS doesn’t get as much attention as DD did at that age but then I feel bad if DD doesn’t get as much attention. It’s hard and I don’t really think there’s an easy answer. Baby DS is much more chilled out than DD was and I do wonder if it’s because he’s had to be. I think though that the benefits to both of having a sibling as they grow up outweigh the negatives of having to share attention.

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