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3 week growth spurt - experiences and advice please!

(13 Posts)
Embalina Wed 21-Oct-20 15:47:33

My son is 3 weeks today - we had 3 nights where he seemed to be far more settled at night and was sleeping in his Next2me crib for 2-3 hour stints with feeding in between - it was like the sun had come out!
Then for the past 3 nights he will pretty much only go down for up to 15 mins at a time before he wakes up again and cries - he feeds, although not for that long, then falls asleep, and we repeat for hours.
And today, he wouldn’t settle at all until I let him fall asleep on me, and he slept for nearly 4 hours! He’s exhausted.
He’s now in his SleepyHead with me sitting next to him shying him with my hand on his tummy, but grizzling near constantly in between falling asleep for a minute or 2.

I’ve read on other threads that once this passes he should go back to where he was before - should I be listening to his needs and letting him just fall asleep on me in the day so he gets some rest, or keep trying to put him down? Also not sure what to do at night apart from this exhausting 15 minute cycle for hours and hours on end.

Any advice/experiences very gratefully received!

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Embalina Wed 21-Oct-20 15:48:56

*shhing him!

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HenrysHome Wed 21-Oct-20 17:11:24

Very interested to hear advise on this as my three week old has been exactly the same! 😅

KLM19 Wed 21-Oct-20 17:16:48

We had this with my now 9 week old it does pass.. lasted about 1 week, I let him rest on me just so he would rest... I nearly had a mental breakdown that week it was extremely hard!!! He had another spurt at 6 weeks the same thing but not as bad as 3 weeks only lasted a few days.. then has not been the same since his first vaccines...

Embalina Wed 21-Oct-20 17:27:11

KLM19 - I can relate to feeling near breakdown! I’ve been researching safe co-sleeping from Basis and UNICEF to potentially give us both some sleep at night while this lasts. He’s been asleep on me again for the past 90 minutes, he doesn’t want to be anywhere else right now.

Oh no, what’s changed since his vaccinations?

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Embalina Wed 21-Oct-20 17:28:05

HenrysHome

Very interested to hear advise on this as my three week old has been exactly the same! 😅

Sorry you’re going through it too! How’ve you been coping?

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Superscientist Wed 21-Oct-20 17:42:40

Every few weeks newborns go through growth spurts. Mine went through one at 5 weeks and another at 10 weeks, both times she got extra clingy. Since 3 weeks she has only really napped on me and rarely can be put down. When she is having a growth spurt she has a few nights when she won't go to sleep in her crib at all. The rest of the time she will go back into her crib until about 4 then she refuses. We reluctantly co-sleep, the lack of sleep was getting too much and I was at risk of accidentally falling asleep with her. I made the decision that consciously co-sleeping was better than accidentally co-sleeping.

Embalina Wed 21-Oct-20 17:50:35

Superscientist

Every few weeks newborns go through growth spurts. Mine went through one at 5 weeks and another at 10 weeks, both times she got extra clingy. Since 3 weeks she has only really napped on me and rarely can be put down. When she is having a growth spurt she has a few nights when she won't go to sleep in her crib at all. The rest of the time she will go back into her crib until about 4 then she refuses. We reluctantly co-sleep, the lack of sleep was getting too much and I was at risk of accidentally falling asleep with her. I made the decision that consciously co-sleeping was better than accidentally co-sleeping.

Yeah that consciously vs accidentally is really interesting and mentioned a lot in the advice I’ve been reading as it says that many parents will co-sleep whether intentionally or unintentionally. I agree I’d want to do it consciously and put measures in place rather than find myself in a position of doing it unintentionally.
It feels like co-sleeping right now might be the right thing to do for his needs but my reluctance is opening up that option and then he won’t go back in his crib once this has passed.
I’m also trying to be really mindful of what he’s telling me his needs are and it feels wrong to keep forcing him into a crib he doesn’t want to be in.

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esmethurst Wed 21-Oct-20 18:04:09

I think you need to stop reading what babies 'should' do and start realising what babies actually do

They change all the time so you'll just get stressed out if you think every night will be the same as the last

Nelbert19 Wed 21-Oct-20 21:13:45

My son was the same at 3 weeks and after a week or two of trying to stay awake while he slept on me, I also became a reluctant co sleeper after I scared myself by falling asleep with him on me unsafely.

At about week 8 I could put him to sleep on his next to me for the first 4 hours of bed and then he’d come in with me after his 1-2am feed (husband booted out to spare room!)

he’s now in week 12 and sleeps very well in his crib, only cosleeping the night after his jabs because he was so sad (and I’m soft)

Day naps were a similar pattern - always on me for the first 6 weeks, then gradually able to fall asleep wherever I leave him 🤣

I think all babies are clingy for they first few months, they’re very new to the world and need to comfort of the familiar. Google the ‘fourth trimester’ - that concept really helped me stay patient with a clingy baby, knowing it will eventually pass, but right now you are your baby’s world.

Embalina Thu 22-Oct-20 17:02:17

Nelbert19

My son was the same at 3 weeks and after a week or two of trying to stay awake while he slept on me, I also became a reluctant co sleeper after I scared myself by falling asleep with him on me unsafely.

At about week 8 I could put him to sleep on his next to me for the first 4 hours of bed and then he’d come in with me after his 1-2am feed (husband booted out to spare room!)

he’s now in week 12 and sleeps very well in his crib, only cosleeping the night after his jabs because he was so sad (and I’m soft)

Day naps were a similar pattern - always on me for the first 6 weeks, then gradually able to fall asleep wherever I leave him 🤣

I think all babies are clingy for they first few months, they’re very new to the world and need to comfort of the familiar. Google the ‘fourth trimester’ - that concept really helped me stay patient with a clingy baby, knowing it will eventually pass, but right now you are your baby’s world.

Yeah, a lot of my friends say things changed around the 8-9 week mark. He’ll sleep in his Next2me crib in his SleepyHead but only if he falls asleep on us first and is deep enough asleep to not wake up.

Last night was soooo much better, think he’s finally out of his growth spurt. Also we had him in a sleeping bag for the first time, rather than just covering him with blankets, so I suspect he might have been a bit cold too before.

I was feeding him in bed when he woke up but realised I could fall asleep on him far too easily and also it was like torture trying to stay awake when I was laying down and comfy!

Yeah I read up on the fourth trimester and found the idea fascinating, I’ve really tried to give him what he needs in that way. That’s partly why I looked for a second hand SleepyHead, and we play womb sounds all through the night. It’s helped me too and given me a lot of compassion for what he’s going through, transitioning from the lovely warm safe womb environment to the cold scary outside world.

Knowing that things should change significantly in the not-too-distant future makes this bit easier to deal with, also knowing that soon he’ll start smiling and getting excited when he sees us <3

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KLM19 Thu 22-Oct-20 19:30:19

@Embalina he has just not been settling at nights he used to feed 1am 4am 7am and since his jabs is feeding every hour sometimes 2.. it's been a real struggle.. exhaustion is creeping in big time... I've been contemplating formula for a night feed just for some sleep but cant bring myself to do it...

Embalina Fri 23-Oct-20 00:19:04

@KLM19 Horrible sad looks like that’s a common experience judging by other threads. Every hour is totally exhausting. I can understand not wanting to add in any formula but could be worth considering just for the short term at least to get you through this bit. Your health visitor might have some good advice, mine’s been great recently when I needed to talk outside of our appointments

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