After a tear-filled park trip this evening, I would be really grateful for some tips to help me teach DD (age 3) to be more resilient when things don't go her way and to persevere. To be honest, this evening wasn't my finest hour, so I'm keen to get some better strategies.
She gets very upset when she can't do something - e.g. today when her much taller friend could climb higher than her. Whenever this happens I tell her the only way to get better at doing things is to try them and keep practising. Sometimes this works and she takes it on board (and indeed often finds she can do whatever it is) - but sometimes, like tonight, she just whines and gets upset (and I get a bit annoyed that she won't try). She does a seem more whiny than other kids her age and I generally give it short shrift so as not to encourage it, but maybe this is wrong? I've had a few chats with her in calmer moments about it, and how important it is to keep trying, but I'm not sure how much of it goes in. And I'm sure I'm too impatient when she seems defeatist, because I hate seeing her unhappy and know how pleased she will be when she gets the hang of something.
Another thing that causes hassle is her being very intolerant of other kids in the park e.g. getting upset if someone goes on something she wanted to go on. She refuses to accept that other kids can play on e.g. a roundabout at the same time. I try not to hover too much when she's playing as she has to learn to navigate this stuff but I'm not sure how much of a life lesson she gets when she's getting herself worked up.
In case it helps and to avoid a drip-feed...as far as I know she doesn't kick off like that at nursery (she attends 4 days a week). Her language and general development is fine - e.g. she can read simple words, speaks essentially like an adult and exhibits good understanding. She is otherwise not prone to tantrums.
Any words of wisdom?
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Helping 3 yo become more resilient
5 replies
mizzles · 16/09/2020 00:28
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