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Feel like I'm failing. 18 months old won't go to sleep anymore.

(11 Posts)
frolicmum Fri 21-Aug-20 13:07:42

Sleep was never amazing in this house but it has been the last few months. We travelled to my parents, then came back and the nanny had time off, so DH mum and sister helped out.

Since then, he won't let us put him to sleep anymore. It used to be the same routine, bath, books, bottle, sleeps and it was perfect. Now he cries as soon as we leave the room. I now wheel him in the pram and he goes down. Am I failing? Is it ok to do it this way? I know what I am doing is wrong but I just don't have the energy at the moment to do the pick up, put down method & cry it out is not my thing 😓 it always seems as though everyone else has got it all figured out.

I don't even know why I am writing on here but suppose I had to get it off my chest.

OP’s posts: |
Wnikat Fri 21-Aug-20 13:10:51

Separation anxiety. Try one of the no cry sleep solution books. Gradual retreat worked for us. Also much better if my husband did bedtime and I was nowhere to be seen, for some reason.

frolicmum Fri 21-Aug-20 13:16:12

Thanks @Wnikat. Yes, I'll get one of those

The nanny can put him down fine. I asked her the day before yesterday if she could do bed time and she did and he just went down. She only works 4 days a week though and it's not really her job tbh - she's brilliant though and knows I'm finding it tough at the moment. Doesn't stop me wanting a second though 😅😓😭

OP’s posts: |
Wnikat Fri 21-Aug-20 13:32:07

Also you’re not doing anything wrong! He needs you to fall asleep, it’s totally natural, and frankly it’s weird that in our culture we expect children to sleep alone.

BornOnThe4thJuly Fri 21-Aug-20 13:37:25

I agree it sounds like separation anxiety. My eldest did this, was fine for his Dad though hmm
I used gradual retreat, had to do it again after he had flu, it worked fine both times.

BornOnThe4thJuly Fri 21-Aug-20 13:38:41


Also you’re not doing anything wrong! He needs you to fall asleep, it’s totally natural, and frankly it’s weird that in our culture we expect children to sleep alone.

I would agree with this too. I have a chronic pain condition and don’t sleep well, and have to take pain medication at night, so it wasn’t really suitable for me to bedshare, although I did when he was ill.

Wnikat Fri 21-Aug-20 14:15:23

My second was a god awful sleeper and my first timed his separation anxiety to maximise disturbance but then I put them in together and that fixed everything as no one was alone anymore!

Lalapurple Fri 21-Aug-20 14:15:28

You aren't failing at all. 18 months is another of those developmental leaps...also normal for him to react differently to someone who isn't you.

Those no cry sleep solutions etc aren't for me either.

crazychemist Fri 21-Aug-20 18:30:24

You’re not failing. 18 months is a difficult time! If he goes down fine for the nanny, can your DH do bedtime for a week or so to break the habit, and then you can try again?

frolicmum Fri 21-Aug-20 19:50:23

I asked my neighbour and friend to put him to bed (got a son 2 months younger than mine and they are besties), and he went down no issues.

New day tomorrow & thanks for all your kind words.

OP’s posts: |
Phillymouse Sat 22-Aug-20 10:38:06

I am 19 months into my little one waking between every 45 mins to 2 hours every.single.night

I have done some gentle sleep training (which I was totally against but I am desperate) and things have improved. She even did an8 hour sleep one night this week.

It's not everyone's cup of tea and you have to be strong (and probably take a week off work) but there's definitely a difference

If you want to know more let me know

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