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I dont know what to say!

(5 Posts)
KathH Sun 30-Sep-07 22:08:53

Sorry in advance for the long windedness of this post - dd1 who's nearly 15 has just come downstairs crying for her Grandad who died nearly 10 yrs ago. They were really close but I'm suprised that she can actually remember him. She has a photo of him in her room when he was holding her when she was about 2, she asked me if she could, and now she's got really upset & has started telling me things I didnt know she remembered like when he was in hospital - he died of cancer 4 weeks after being diagnosed. The thing is, although I still miss my dad I can't put myself back in the place of when I was in floods of tears all the time so I dont know what to say to her. What triggered it off was she went to my Gran's 80th & there were a lot of photos from over the years which had my dad on.

purpleduck Sun 30-Sep-07 22:27:45

She is probably grieving for what she has missed out on iyswim. Just tell her lots about him - how happy he was about her, his first reaction to her. Maybe see if other relatives can fill in the blanks for her too?

Smithagain Mon 01-Oct-07 11:07:53

It happens. I recently found myself sobbing in church, because we sang the hymn that was sung at my Granny's funeral. I suddenly really, really missed her. She died about 10 years ago.

I have no idea what came over me, really, but the feelings were very real.

In your position, I would give her a big hug, listen to what she has to say and share your memories of your dad. Maybe she has unanswered questions about what happened, since she was so young at the time.

I came across this site recently, which looks brilliant if she carries on being upset and you need more qualified help:

newlifenewname Mon 01-Oct-07 11:09:44

Not wishing to diminish her very real grief at all but hormones do have a part to play in these sudden episodes of extreme and genuine emotion as I recall.

KathH Tue 02-Oct-07 21:44:09

Just wanted to say thank you for taking the trouble to reply - I think its a combination of all the things you all suggested.

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