Autism in 2 year old?

[Trustynickname]

Hiya all.
This is long winded but I need some advice please, I'm feeling really down because of this.
My son just started nursery last week, he has been going for 2 hours per day for only 3 days so far. Due to covid19 I have to drop him at the door and return to pick him up, cant go in and settle him in etc. All of this is totally new to him and he is an only child who isnt used to being around many other children.
Today I went to collect my lo and was told by his nursery room leader who is also there senco, that my lo is showing signs of being autistic, due to him being clingy with staff, crying at lunch times and not wanting to sit up the table and eat, also not being verbal and putting 3 words together to form a sentence (he does at home - when he feels like it though) and also he was putting his hands over his ears at noise, which he has being doing at home recently. She said he needs to see a doctor asap and get a diagnosis.
Im really confused and saddened, I want the best for my little boy, hes 2.5 years of age and I will do anything to support him if this is the case but I'm so upset that he may have problems which I have been unaware of this whole time, I have no other children to compare him by so I thought he was a completely normal toddler. Has any one else experienced anything like this. I have a telephone call tomorrow with a doctor so I'm hoping to get some answers. Is it possible for them to diagnose a 2 year old with autism!? I've never heard of this being the case before. Thanks.

[smartiecake]

It sounds like they are being a bit premature in discussing this with you if he has only been attending for a few weeks, and is still in the settling in phase. Have a discussion with the GP but they may want to wait a few more months and see how he settles in before they proceed with any assessment. It can be a long assessment process as well. I expect the Dr will say just see how he goes and come back to them if you feel he needs further assessments in the future.
I would also ask the nursery what help and extra support they are going to put in place for your son. He may or may not have any additional needs but if they have concerns they should be offering him extra help. They should be helping him settle in and get used to the new setting.
My son was diagnosed aged 3.5 and concerns were first raised at nursery.

[GoBackToPartyCity]

Speak to your health visitor. Our nursery said the same about my little boy and raised concerns about his speech. The HV came out and did a 2.5 check and referred us to the paediatrician. The appointment took a year to come through but he sailed through and they discharged us straight away.

[Davodia]

I’ve never heard of being clingy, crying and refusing to sit at the table being signs of autism? That just sounds like normal toddler behaviour to me! Not speaking might be a sign but you said he speaks at home. Covering his ears - noise sensitivity could be a sign, or he could just be an only child from a quiet house who isn’t used to noise. Personally I wouldn’t be worried by any of this unless it’s accompanied by other strong indicators that there might be an issue.

[Pomegranatemolasses]

Hi Op, while it is possible to diagnose a 2 year old with autism, this would certainly not be done by a nursery staff member after three days! This is really unprofessional of them, and they are not qualified to offer to diagnose this.

Do see your GP and get a referral to someone who is qualified to assess your child.

FWIW, my child was exactly like yours at that age. He came on in leaps and bounds, and while he was ultimately diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10, he is now a bright, popular and confident 17 year old.

[INeedNewShoes]

Its too early to be worried in my view and I don't think this should have even been brought up with you as a potential issue so soon into your son's nursery experience.

Two hours a day, three days a week is only just one nursery session's worth of hours. Many good nurseries will only accept new children for a minimum of 3–4 sessions a week as a child needs to spend enough time at the setting to get used to it.

DD (now 3) was accustomed to being away from me from a young age (I resumed work a few hours a week when she was a few weeks old). She coped really well with being looked after by my DM, SIL, neighbour and a teenager who lives around the corner, and she actively enjoyed her time with them. But when she went to a childminder at 9m she just seemed completely overwhelmed by the presence of other children. At 14m I removed her from the childminders and at 16m she started nursery and it was a similar story. She was happy at nap time when she stayed awake and got the adult's company all to herself but seemed to struggle with groups of kids and was like a rabbit in headlights on arrival at the busy nursery.

Its only at the age of 30m that this started to improve and was, in large part, due to me moving her to a nursery that was so new that they were nowhere near capacity so her room was quiet at first, with only five other children. Now at 37m she's great and swanning around as though she owns the place even though its busier.

I feel as though, somewhere along the way, someone could have easily decided that my DD's social hesitancy was some sort of SEN but for many children its natural to struggle in busy daycare settings at a young age.

The lack of verbal communication for your son could well just be a sign of stress rather than being an actual lack of development in this area.

[surreygirl1987]

Most of that sounds very normal actually for a child scared of starting nursery! The covering the ears thing is the only thing that jumps out to me as something to be potentially concerned about. By all means speak to GP etc and if you can get testing then that's great... but I wouldn't start worrying hugely yet.

[Dinosaursdontgrowontrees]

I have a daughter with autism (who was diagnosed at 2) and I’m a nursery worker.
From what you’ve said I think the staff are completely unprofessional in mentioning this to you this soon. If they have concerns they need to observe him for a few weeks (months?) and then arrange a meeting to talk though their findings.
From what you’ve said I think his behaviour sounds like perfectly normal toddler behaviour.
I would recommend you talk to your health visitor if you are concerned.

[Trustynickname]

Thank you all for your messages. They have really helped me as I am thinking these exact thoughts and I was worried maybe I'm being in denial as a parent. Anyway, had a phone call with GP this morning who has reffered him to Pediatricics, to get the ball rolling as he said, so it is possible he may have some issues. But the doctor did say it could well be due to him just trying to settle into a new nursery and a different environment. Thanks again. xx