In loco parentis

[Waitingonadream]

Hi all,
I was after a little advice if you don't mind.
I have 3 kids under 10, one toddler and 2 old enough to be supervised slightly less.
My neighbour has 2 kids, one older and one who I feel needs supervision.
When my kids play at the front of our house, both the neighbours kids come out to play alone. I often end up supervising 5 kids as I am always out with them or pottering around the front garden.
There has been times I have to deal with arguments or injuries either on or inflicted by the other children and my children often get shouted at as they want to go further afield with me but I have to tell them to come back as I'm not comfortable taking the neighbours kids with us and wouldn't without asking anyway. The parents sometimes pop out occasionally but it sometimes feels like it's a given that I'm going to watch them all.
What can I do to stop being a parent to 5 kids every time we step out the front door? I feel mean but it is really stressful.
Thank you for your time xxx

[MrsRogerLima]

Send them back in to their parents. Every time.

[NumbsMet]

Have your kids play in the back garden for a while until next door's kids get the message? At the very least I'd expect the parents to ask you if you're alright minding them. What they're doing gives the impression they don't mind their kids playing outside without supervision.

[Waitingonadream]

Thanks for the replies. I think that is part of the problem. They feel like their kids can play unsupervised and they probably could be on their own (although I wouldn't leave the younger one), but when mine are there too there are accidents and arguments and their little one can get a bit angry and has hit one of mine before and rode their bike into my little one.

[Waitingonadream]

When we are in the back garden they are constantly shouting over the fence and talking through the gap in the fence. It's their fence and it's needed fixing for 2 years. We offered to help but they said they knew it was theirs so would fix it.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Just go about what you want to do and actively stop minding the other children. If you feel you need to tell the other parent you're going inside/for a walk.

They'll soon stop relying on you.

[NumbsMet]

Yes I agree with PP. Next time your kids want to go further afield with you, send one of their kids in to tell the parents or knock the door yourself and say 'I'm off'. I know you'll feel guilt about them playing without supervision but the parents will be doing this, not you.

[Waitingonadream]

Thank you all I really appreciate the help xx