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Does anyone else have constant bizarre conversations with their dc's?

(34 Posts)
KTNoo Thu 06-Sep-07 21:31:14

Okay. This was all in the space of walking from school to car today.

DD(6)out of the blue)Mummy, why can't we get a pet?
me: Maybe we can when you're older.
DD: But I can't wait that long!
me: It can be hard to wait can't it.
DS(4): I'm not going to get older. I'm going to stay a children then I won't die.
DD: But why don't you want a pet now?
DS: Mummy can I draw yellow ghosts when we get home?
me: Um...yes....
DD: What about just a rabbit?
DS: Mummy my teacher says you need to buy me little trains like the ones at school.
me: Rabbits make me sneeze. I'm sure your teacher didn't say that.

It went on and on. All these subjects in about 2 minutes. Meanwhile dd2 (18 months) was trying to run into the road.

Is this how all my days are going to be now?

boo64 Thu 06-Sep-07 22:13:55

Hey count yourself lucky - at least you had several topics - my ds (2.2) goes on and on about bins when we are out for a walk (skips, wheelie bins)

KTNoo Thu 06-Sep-07 22:19:54

How informative for you - I hadn't thought about how bins are all different.

I don't mind too much usually. Today I'm knackered (actually fell asleep for a minute reading the bedtime story) so the whole conversation felt very dream-like.

It's only going to get worse when dd2 joins in.

I don't work but I'm starting to think I could be quite employable, if they think holding 3 conversations at the same time is a skill they want....

Smithagain Thu 06-Sep-07 22:26:01

This was from DD1, aged four:

"I wonder what would happen if the world ended and we were still on it? Fortunately, red and blue make purple."

I mean, she didn't even draw breath between those two sentences. What is going on in there???

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 06-Sep-07 22:30:36


DD today "Mum, I keep picking up these worms. They are great, they keep popping their heads out of the ground and I'm pulling them. Unfortunatley, they keep breaking and I cant fix them"


DD "what is that noise?" <police sirens>
Me "its a police car"
DD "Is it a policman?"
Me "yes"
DD "where is he going?"
Me "I dont know sweetie"
DD "Is he going to get the bad man who did killed a man?"
Me "errrr - oh look over there at those lovely trees......."

boo64 Thu 06-Sep-07 22:34:09

Oh yes there are loads of different types - green garden refuse ones, recycling boxes, different size and colour skips. It will be ds's Junior Mastermind subject (god forbid if he ever wants to do that programme).

I am even contemplating taking him to a skip hire company's yard - he'd love it.

"Mummy, when I grow up I want to be a bin man."

ChasingSquirrels Thu 06-Sep-07 22:42:00

ohh, ds1 had a bin phase, I had forgotten that!

KTNoo Thu 06-Sep-07 22:42:17

Can you get novelty toddler beds shaped like skips?

theUrbanDryad Fri 07-Sep-07 11:20:55

just put him in an actual skip. they usually have mattresses in don't they?

i can't wait till ds starts coming out with things like this. grin

DrNortherner Fri 07-Sep-07 11:28:18

Whilst sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich I had the following conversation with ds aged 5:

DS - Will I die Mummy?
Me - yes darling, everyone dies, but yuo don't have to worry about that for a long long time.
Ds - What makes people die?
Me - well some people just get very old or sometimes you gte poorly and teh doctors can't make you better
Ds - Granny Bid is very old - will she dies soon?
Me - well yes she is old (95), I hope she doesn't die soon
Ds - you can die in other ways can't you Mummy?
Me - yes you can
Ds - You could be run over by a train, you could get shot couldn't you mummy
Me - Look at that squirrall over there!
Ds - Or you could get your head chopped off with a axe (?!!)
Me - Lets go and get an icecream (as old woman also on bench listens in horror)
DS - can I have a flake in mine? <as he skips off happily>

Wisteria Fri 07-Sep-07 11:31:30

Last night

DD1: If you die when you're sleeping, do you carry on dreaming so don't notice, or do you wake up first????!!!

DD2: Don't be stupid, when you're dead everything stops, like when Mum unplugs the tv....

Budababe Fri 07-Sep-07 11:50:51


DS (6) MUmmmmmyyyyy - you can come and wipe my bottom now!
Me - YYAAAYY - my favourite job.

Go into bathroom - DS on hands and knees with bar bum in air. Wipe etc.

DS - This is very comfy!

Me - Remember to wash your hands.

DS - Mummy - why ARE we alive?

slayerette Fri 07-Sep-07 12:11:37

PMSL at these - love the yellow ghosts!

DS(4): Mummy, can I climb up the hole in your bottom I came out of?
Me: shock Er - why?
DS: I want to get into your tummy to rescue the vitamin you just swallowed to see what it looks like.
Me: Well, when I said you came out of my tummy, I didn't mean the one where the food goes...
DS: hmm
Me: You see [panicking slightly], this [pointing to throat] leads down to my tummy which is where the food goes, but when you were inside me you lived in my uterus...imagine Mummy has two bags inside to keep things in - one for food and one for babies...
DS: hmm hmm hmm

KTNoo Fri 07-Sep-07 14:03:17

Yes we have piles of sheets of paper covered in yellow ghosts at the moment. It used to be poisonous black flowers.

We also have conversations about childbirth. DS recently found out from DD that there are 2 ways babies can be born, so now he goes around asking everyone he knows "Were you born from a tummy or a bum?"

They obviously find death a fascinating subject at this age. DD's teacher told her other day (possibly foolishly) that it was her father's birthday, but that he died a few years ago. DD responded with "You'll have to bake him a black cake then!"

They are hilarious or a nightmare, depending on what mood I'm in.

law3 Fri 07-Sep-07 14:19:15

My 3.6 year old is into telling these very long stories (everyone runs when he says let me tell you a story!!)

There was a spider in the garden and it jumped on my back, then the phone ring and it was nanny and i says what you doing, i like slides at the park, etc, etc, etc, etc.

Raving looney or great imagination!!

My 11 year old is still says totally random things at times, perhaps we are a family of nutters!!

KTNoo Fri 07-Sep-07 14:25:21

Oh this is great. Thanks everyone, I needed a good laugh.

electrongirl Fri 07-Sep-07 14:37:10

Yes, my 3 year old has a constant stream of random conversation, just the other day he was talking to his superman figure,

DS: Do you like to have a bath superman?
Superman (also DS obviously): No, I don't like a bath I dont want to get my cape wet.

Then it was
DS: Mummy, superman doent want to go in the bath, he doesnt want to get his cape wet.

And on it went for about half an hour!

Lact8 Fri 07-Sep-07 14:47:04

LOL at all of these smile

I've recently had this from DS2 (3.5)

Travelling past a field of cows

Ds2: Cows don't eat pies Mummy

Me: You're right Ds2, cows don't eat pies, they eat...

Me: Spiders eat flies Mummy. And dogs eat flies Mummy. Who eats poo Mummy?'

Me: Flies eat poo, well actually they...

Ds2: No they don't Mummy, naughty boys and girls eat poo Mummy

Me: Girls and boys don't eat...

Ds2: Why do we need plastic Mummy?

law3 Fri 07-Sep-07 14:48:42

oh yes, talking to toys becomes even more random, because he asks the questions and answers them.

He also talks like a robot sometimes too, which can be a bit embarassing at times, during an eye test, he started replying to her questions in his robot voice and she asked me what was wrong with him!!!

KTNoo Fri 07-Sep-07 14:55:53

lol at robot voice! You have to keep telling yourself it's their job to humiliate you.

DS was once an orangutan for about 3 days. He refused to speak to anyone and crawled around with his hands turned under and everything. People were starting to ask what was wrong with him.

law3 Fri 07-Sep-07 15:11:18

totally random question to ask lol

your children are not left handed are they, its just my son is and i read somewhere, if your left handed your either likely to become a madman or a genius!!!

boo64 Fri 07-Sep-07 20:59:48

Can they be both...think ds is heading that way ...and yes he is left handed

cocolepew Fri 07-Sep-07 21:14:38

DD 5. I don't want to die.
Me; you won't die 'til you're very old.
DD;Like GranGran. I miss her so much my toes hurt.(she can't possibly remember my gran!)
Me;Yes she was nearly 100.
DD; oh look at that
Me; what?
DD; that there(!?)
DD; I suppose Grandma will be next to die(she's 64)
DD; that''s so sad I might cry. How do you make cheesestrings? Do they come out a cows bum?blushAll in one breath.

Slubberdegullion Fri 07-Sep-07 21:21:19

These are my fav sort of MN threads, lol @ what goes on in children's heads.

This am
dd1 (3):mummy what is that? <pointing at my nipple..I had just got out of the shower btw>

me:It's my nipple <proud to be using correct terminology and educating dd>

dd1:But mummy it's pink and what is it?

me: It's my nipple, they are pink. You know they are for don't you? <continues non plussed friendly biology talk with toddler>

dd1: For the milk, but it's eh, eh um um <gets word stuck> um um why? <starts to cry> but mummmeeeee

me: It's Ok darling, when you were a baby you had milk from mummy, but now you are a big girl you have cows milk from a cup <tries hard to get off subject of nipples>

dd1: <wailing> I can't GET IT

me: what? what um um you don't need my nipple anymore....what do you want a drink of milk...from a cup...lets go and get a nice cup of milk shall we.....
<fuck relaxed anatomy chat all gone tits up>


me: hmm hmm eh? <wtf>

kbaby Fri 07-Sep-07 22:02:08

We have loads of random topics from DD(3)
Shes obsessed with death

This was yesterday’s

DD – have you cut your finger
Me- yes, only a small one though
DD- is it? bleeding can I look?
Me- no its not bleeding
DD- because if it was you’d go to heaven and then we’d all cry
Me- oh right,
DD – yes me, daddy, james, nanny, we’d be very sad and we’d cry and cry

Crikey, how to depress someone.

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