Different feeling towards my twins

1plus2plus1 · 2019-10-23 21:32:32

Hello, first post on here. I've had 5 sessions with a psychotherapist regards my relationship with my daughter, I've decided today not to take it any further with him as I dont think he understands my problem. However, I'm stuck as to what I can do next / who can help / what sort of councillor or therapist can offer the right support. Perhaps someone here can advise? I've four year old BG twins and a nearly 5 month old little girl. I really struggle with my twin girl and have since she was born (from finding out it was twins in all honesty). I dont love them the same, I dont feel the same way about them, not in the slightest. I love my boy, I wanted him and I absolutely treasure him. My girl is different, I dont feel I love her but she wouldn't know that, I've become very good at pretending however it's really getting to me that I have to pretend with her. It's such an effort to "love" her, I dont like spending time with her, cuddling her, kissing her, never have. She makes my skin crawl when I have to touch her. I've only talked about this over the last few months as no one new before (which is good as its likely my girl wont notice either) so please dont bash me too hard. I want the best for all of my children and I need to know how to love my girl. We had a really rough start and the first two years my husband an I slept with a twin each in separate rooms -i had my boy and he had her. I need to learn how to love her, feel differently towards her, keep my calm with her (I tend to be more impatient with her than I do my boy), appreciate her, notice her, want her etc etc. Please can anyone help?! Shes a delightful child and I should be counting my lucky stars that I have her but I just feel i dont want her, really quite seriously. Thanks in advance.

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Hi all, as the OP explained, she's grateful for all the advice and support, but has asked for this thread to be removed now. We don't want to make anyone's life harder, so we've removed it now.