At breaking point

[tethersend007]

Please help. I am at the end of my tether. We have been potty training my 3 year and 3 month son since April. He can wee and poo on the toilet and is very happy when he does however he has never said “I need a wee/poo”. He knows what he has to do and can go to the toilet if we catch him at the right moment. He is dry at night and even wakes us up saying he needs a wee!!
We have a week where we don’t have any soiled or wet pants then we get to a week like this. In the the space of 2 hours I took him for three wee’s which he did but in between that we had two wet pants. After 3 days of withholding stools he was going red and shaking in soft play. I put him on the toilet numerous times and he denied needing to go only to poo himself in the ball pool. Then when I try to get him clean he goes all floppy refusing to cooperate like a dog that doesn’t want to be walked.
He goes from being pleased that he is managing to go to the toilet to refusing to engage with the subject on any level. Nursery say he imperfectly able yet after a week of coming back in that same clothes we sent him in he is now back to 4/5 wet soiled clothes a day.
We have tried stickers, Poland App, chocolate bribery, toys, star charts, blowing bubbles, books on the toilet, potty in front of TV, potty not in front of TV, back in nappies to give him a break, praise, ignoring accidents, getting him to help clean up, choosing his own pants ….nothing is working. I actually feel as if it’s damaging our relationship, it is difficult to go out, I feel isolated and that I’m a dog something wrong, please can anyone help????

[nowayhose]

It seems you have done everything you can to help him succeed in toilet training and with some success.
I'm wondering whether he's either not willing to stop an activity to go to the toilet perhaps ? If so then regular timings of going to the toilet might help.

It might be a good idea to get him checked by the GP when going through an 'accident' phase as a urinary infection or constipation may be contributing to the problem. Lots of kids will be incontinent with a urine infection, and holding poos in will cause some constipation, which can be painful to pass, which means kids hold it in....round and round the problem goes. The GP can give you stool softeners if this is the case.

I don't know what else to suggest, but hope you get things resolved soon. x

[Aria999]

I agree, GP. I don't think 5 wees in 2 hours is normal. Constipation can cause all kind of problems including with wee.

We have also been potty training forever and have a stubborn willful 3+ child who needs to be persuaded/ coerced to go every single f*ing time, but he can at least fairly reliably hold it a few hours!

[tethersend007]

Thanks for the replies - I never thought I would be crying about poo but I am. We would go back to the no pants stage but he would constantly smear poo everywhere he sat. I feel so guilty at being cross with him but he knows when he needs to go and can recognise the feeling but refused to act on it.