Two year olds behaviour

[Lunablue765]

Hi I'm totally at a loss and don't know what to do with my two year old. We struggle with her sleeping at night but unfortunately needs a day nap as otherwise she has screaming melt downs. We've tried stickers rewarding good behaviour telling her off silent treatment to get her back to bed she just laughs and kicks you. We removed toys from their bedroom to help the sleep didn't work we've given back the toys no change I joined the two beds so so can Co sleep with her sister as she seemed to like that but she has started hitting and biting her sister. In the process of putting her to sleep she will empty all drawers of clothes and scatter them across their room repeatedly she even does this when it's not bed time. I'm so lost to know how to deal with this any advice welcome. Side note I'm 20 weeks pregnant but up until they stopped we were attending groups and activities she goes to park most evenings after dinner

[Lunablue765]

I will add we stopped her have cordial as I was concerned the colour or sweetners were causing her behaviour. She doesn't eat chocolate and sweeties things you'd associate with this behaviour. She will be 3 in December her language is very good for her age.

[TooMinty]

My DS went through a difficult stage when he was nearly 2, while I was pregnant and after his brother was born. I think it was jealousy/insecurity. He used to tip all the toys out all over the floor whenever I sat down to breastfeed his brother... Luckily his sleep was good although he gave up naps so I just did quiet time watching TV with him or reading books.
Would she lie quietly to listen to an audio book/CBeebies radio? Plus I think lots of cuddles and reassurance do help eventually.

[Lunablue765]

Hi thanks for reply I've seen the health visitor today and she is arranging some for child care worker to come give me tips for sleeping and she has suggested a quiet hour before thw bedtime routine to help settle her x plus cuddles would be great but she then starts to want to be breastfed again which we stopped in April and to be honest this is where it all started 😔

[crazychemist]

You poor thing. It seems to be a very difficult time when still need the last nap, but having it screws up bedtime.

Bit controversial, but my DD just went through dropping the last nap. To avoid screaming meltdowns, I allowed her to nap, but then have a very late bedtime as there was just no point putting her down before she was tired as she’d just be bouncing on the bed the second I was out of the room. It’s not ideal, and probably hard when you have another one and one on the way, but can your DP supervise her doing something relatively calm for a while in the evening? Will she sit for stories?

Is there any way you can prevent her getting out of bed? Will she still get to if it’s completely dark? I blacked out DDs room to help her get to sleep more quickly as it’s boring lying there in complete darkness.

Behaviour will get better if you are consistent. It’s shit, and it takes a long time, which I’m sure you already know. But you’ll get through this.

[TooMinty]

I guess it doesn't have to be you giving the cuddles if she'll want to breastfeed - your partner/family/friends can all step in too?

[lorisparkle]

We had terrible problems when ds transitioned from 1 nap to no naps. In the end li either did no nap and an early bed or a nap and a late bed time. Luckily it was only a phase and we just had to get through it!!!

[AMAM8916]

Hi, could your partner settle her in your bed so she's asleep then carry her through to her bed?

This is what we have to do with our son otherwise the bedroom would be trashed, he'd be up and down the stairs all night and just generally being a terror.

We take turns to settle, no issue with him wanting to breastfeed as it's been a long time since he was breastfed, he's almost 3 now. We make our bedroom really dark by closing the curtains and blinds and either me or my husband lie on our bed with him and tell him a story then within about about 15 minutes, he falls asleep. We then leave him on our bed for another 15 minutes then carry him through and place him in his own bed in his own bedroom.

We tried the whole putting him up into his bed and telling him a story then leaving and it just resulted in weeks of him coming down the stairs, throwing toys down the stairs etc and being really tired and out of his normal routine of sleeping 8pm-ish to 8am-ish. This seems to be what works and we'll eventually try settling him in his own bed again, maybe when he understands a little better.

Because your daughter shares a bedroom with her sister, is it maybe a good idea to put her to bed then her sister to bed 30-45 minutes later once she's asleep?