Child emotional development - book recommendations?

[AnotherOriginalUsername]

As per the title really.

I was essentially emotionally neglected as a child and have struggled ever since. I cannot/will not do the same to my child.

Can anyone recommend any books on child emotional development? Can be as scientific (or not) as you like, I have a background in biological sciences and mental health.

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Love-Matters-affection-shapes/dp/0415870534?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Gives a synopsis

[Frogletmamma]

Diary of Anne Frank. It makes you think.

[Frogletmamma]

Sorry read it as book for child duh!

[Applycrumbly]

What every parent needs to know. Margot Sunderland

[AnotherOriginalUsername]

Thanks @MrsPatrickDempsey that's just reminded me that that is the book that my counsellor recommended!

@Applycrumbly that sounds like a title I need

[AnotherOriginalUsername]

@Frogletmamma not quite what I was going for but a good read nonetheless!

[Theveryhungrybutterfly]

Second vote for why love matters.

Also have you thought about some therapy for yourself? It’s not just for people with mental health problems - it can be a really useful way to explore how your experiences growing up are impacting on you as an adult and parent. It could help you identify what you’d like to do differently and how - and bring any unconscious patterns to the fore. Sometimes it’s hard to implement stuff from books if we haven’t experienced it ourselves or fully talked through our negative (and positive) experiences. You say you have a background in mental health so I assume you know this anyway. Good luck.

[Theveryhungrybutterfly]

Ah just seen you have a counsellor - that’s good, I hope it’s helping you.

[AnotherOriginalUsername]

I've done my time (years!) having various types of counselling and therapy over the last 10 years. I'm in a better place now than I've ever been and I'm sure it's not a coincidence that it all got dramatically better when I went incommunicado with my mother(!)

[FarFrom]

sue Gerhardt yes- also the tavistock series understanding your child- different small books for different age children eg understanding your 5 year old etc- goes from birth to 21. Also Graham music - nurturing natures.

[ItsalmostSummer]

Anything on attachment. I recommend Gordon Neufeld. Really good stuff for parents.
neufeldinstitute.org/resources/hold-on-to-your-kids-book/

[applecatchers36]

The social toddler Helen Dorman, Clive Dorman
The social baby, Helen Dorman, Clive Dorman
The child and the outside world, Donald Winnicott

[MinaPaws]

More a practical handbook, but I followed Positive Discipline Parenting guides. (Don't be put off by the word discipline. It's not at all 'strict', it's just safe and gives clear, secure boundaries to children.) The range of books covers toddlers, school children and teens. They are the sanest, kindest approaches I ever came across to create a fair, happy family where everyone - parent and child, feels listened to, respected, loved and valued. I had no idea how to be a good mum and that became my bible.

I followed their methods entirely and was the only mother in the autism SEN group I was linked to when DS2 was diagnosed who had no experience of horrific autistic tantrums. Not sure if this is the reason, but I know the method bypasses tantrums pretty easily. DS1 never had many either. And we've escaped teenage fury too, because we all listen to each other. Yesterday I overheard DS2 telling DS1 about a habit he'd got into that was really inconsiderate of others. They both handled it with such respect and kindess. So it rubs off.

This page should have links to all the main books.]]

[applecatchers36]

The whole brain child. Daniel J Siegel.