Crying at nursery drop offs - normal??

[emmabrown123]

We've always had a problem with our 3 year old being dropped off at nursery. He started there when he was 11 Months. He goes 3 days a week.

It generally starts in the morning at breakfast when he figures out today is a 'nursery day'. He will say that he doesn't want to go, or that he wants to stay home, or (more recently) that he feels too poorly for nursery.

Then at actual drop off he sobs and generally clings to our legs until he is physically peeled off by a nursery worker.

I think he is actually pretty happy at nursery. Have even popped back in after 10 mins and he's happy as Larry playing with his friends! And whenever I pick him up I always watch him for a minute beforehand and he seems relaxed and happy.

Is this crying / clinging at drop off normal, even after this length of time? Is there anything I can try to make it easier? I feel like it's getting worse rather than better!

FYI - we also have an 18 month old who goes to nursery and runs off without a peep!!

[Notasperfectasallothermners]

Ds started in Sept at 3 exactly. Only been this week he hasn't cried!
He seems to be actually enjoying it at last!

[ProfessorPickles]

I think it's perfectly normal OP, my son has done it on and off since 1 and he's now 4.
Something that has really helped him is taking a small toy or teddy with him, they let him keep it until 9 and then he has to go put it in his bag for the rest of the day.
I think it makes him feel a bit more secure and helps him to settle in

He isn't the only one, a couple of the other children are the same!

So I'd say don't worry, if he settles as soon as you're gone it's no problem. Awful for us parents but it's just the initial shock of leaving us that sets them off

[Majuna]

My DD was fine for a year (aged 3) then when she got a bit older, she decided to not go quietly anymore!

2 members of staff took her off me one day. An arm & a leg each.

She was kicking the shit out of my shins, so Im glad they saved me

[emmabrown123]

I'll definitely try the toy thing - good idea!

My main worry is that he starts school in September, I'd hate it if he was the same going into school every day. It's just heart breaking to see him so upset!

[LittleFeileFooFoo]

Totally normal. Had thestaff said that he keeps crying long after you're gone?

[emmabrown123]

No they say he settles as soon as they get him involved in an activity.

He is a bit of a sensitive soul, and gets easily upset if he things one of the other kids have been horrible to him, that can exacerbate the drop Off problem!

[fizzytonicplease]

My DS just started nursery 3 days a week he has just turned 3. Every morning when he has nursery we talk about all the fun things he is going to do while he is there, but as soon as we get near to the building his bottom lip turns and he sobs and asks me to stay, or says he needs a poo and wants me to take him. When i collect him he is happy and i ask him if he wants to go again tomorrow and he says he does.

I hope the sad face stops soon as my heart breaks everytime, so i spend the day thinking im a terrible mum for leaving him.

[fizzytonicplease]

OP my DS sounds very similar to yours, very sensative too.

[LittleFeileFooFoo]

I also suggest you talking up how much fun he's going to have. His experience is going to reflect your expectations. That worked wonders for my ds. We'd talk about how much fun he works have, then after how much fun he did have .
Hee wants to have the experience you want him to have!

[Strippervicar]

Normal and depends on the child. DD started at 2.4 for 2 afternoons, she was OKish. Then there was summer holidays, the 1st 8 weeks back (added another afternoon) were the worst of my life. Nursery were calling me an hour into every session to come and get her because she was so upset, disruptive, biting, kicking, rolling round and shouting "ow!!" you name it, she did it. Then she suddenly started enjoying it. She went in today and just got stuck straight in.

I ended up doing the 'I will be back to get you at home time, I'm always coming back." "I am coming back with a chocolate" (1 square of dairy milk) I was that desperate. Recommended to do rewards with plastic tat toys, get party bag treats and he has one in the car after. Remind him when you are on the way to nursery what he gets when he comes back.

Nursery should be able to help with visual time tables when pushed.

[WeAllHaveWings]

my ds used to cry and be peeled off dh when he dropped him at nursery in the mornings. He also used to cry and have to be peeled off one of the nursery staff when I picked him up at night, then I’d take him to the car and he’d become a plank and not go into his car seat because he wanted to stay.