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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Potty training advice

12 replies

PJsAndProsecco · 12/01/2018 18:17

Just after some encouragement really. My DD is 2.8yo and shows zero signs of being interested in potty training. I know you need to wait until they show they're ready which is fine but she has a place at pre-school in September and I'm starting to worry she won't be allowed to go because she won't be trained :(

Anyone have any kids who didn't potty train until 3? She's 3 in April and I really would love her to be trained for September!

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Kittenlady · 12/01/2018 18:38

My girl is nearly 6,at first she hated the potty so we got her a Thomas and friends one,she found out if u tip it upside down it makes the chuffing noise so now we can't use that, she hates the toilet and refuses to wear nappies(unless its bedtime),she pops and throws it down the stairs or puts it in her drawers of what would be clean laundry.I've taken her to doctors and she fully admits she's too lazy to walk to the toilet,I bought her a tablet so she could do it on the toilet but nothing at all works.apparently they grow out of it at their own pace,do not feel bad if yours isn't trained till later on,I once laughed at a girl changing her 5 year old but now I just feel empathy

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FleurWeasley · 12/01/2018 20:41

My son turned three in August and started pre school beginning of September. We had a naked week after his birthday and by the time he started preschool he was “trained” (they expect a few accidents).

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PJsAndProsecco · 13/01/2018 08:11

@FleurWeasley that's encouraging! Thank you! She's an April birthday so we have a few months in between, I'm hoping we will crack it in a few days when she is ready!

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ElphabaTheGreen · 13/01/2018 08:21

My younger son was in pre-school for months before he was potty trained - finally cracked it a couple of months ago at 3.3yo which is well within the normal age range. If she's showing no interest, you have no hope of training her I'm afraid. A decent early-years provider will know that some children over the age of three will still be in nappies and should have changing facilities. Just phone them up and check. If they don't, I'd question how good they are, TBH.

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missrabbit23 · 13/01/2018 08:25

I tried everything and nothing working with my 3 year old! Then I went and bought a bag and some small presents from Asda wrapped them up and showed her the presents told her every time she did a wee wee she would get one present for a poo poo she got two. The presents were small whistles and kinder surprise eggs etc.. but it worked amazing within a week she was trained!!

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ElphabaTheGreen · 13/01/2018 08:25

Oh crumbs - I've just noticed she's not there until September. That's ages!! Stop stressing and just forget about it for now. She's got loads of time to get there when she's ready - don't do anything at all in terms of training for now except maybe getting a child's toilet seat and putting her on the loo while the bath is running. If she gets off that's fine, but even if she just stays sitting it's getting her used to the idea. If she happens to wee while she's there, OTT praise, but nothing more than that. Don't do any knicker-free days or anything yet. You'll put her off completely.

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newyearnewname18 · 13/01/2018 08:34

Rewards are the way to go. Get some small packs of different sweets, stickers etc and every time they go on the potty they get a sweet for wees, and maybe 2 for poos. Then after a week or so if you are still struggling with one (for us wees was easy) then drop the sweet for that one (you're a big girl now, you don't need a treat for wees) and so on until you've cracked it.

Make a big deal of telling people (who you know won't mind) how grown up DD is - 'can you tell X what you did this morning on the potty?'

We also only used the potty for about a week and then moved straight to a kiddy seat on the toilet. Rewards came back for using the toilet instead of potty.

I have a DS one year older than yours (also April) and we started training last Christmas holidays and this worked for us.

He was a bit lazy and even now we struggle at times because he has no issue with being wet and will wee himself instead of using toilet if he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. But most days are accident free, or it happens just before bath time when he knows it doesn't matter.

Good luck.

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PJsAndProsecco · 13/01/2018 08:34

Thanks @ElphabaTheGreen I know I'm being irrational in that there's still months before preschool starts!! I'm also pregnant and probably just overthinking the whole thing. I just really want her to be able to start in September and be dry in the day by then. I know we can't force it, and if she's not ready not even bribery with gifts or treats will work. I guess I just feel like she's behind even though I know in my sensible head she isn't! It just feels like it'll never click with her!

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BellyBean · 13/01/2018 08:41

DD was 3 in March, trained from May bank holiday and took ages, some days 3 changes at nursery (1-2 on home days) and poos were a nightmare. BUT she was still fully trained by July. Taking herself to the loo and only having accidents max 1-2 times a week.

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ElphabaTheGreen · 13/01/2018 08:43

Definitely overthinking! Give her until June maybe to start showing an interest, then start possibly nudging a little more with rewards as suggested above. But do also contact the pre-school to put your mind at rest - as I said, they can't be a particularly good pre-school if they don't having nappy changing facilities. Is it also because you don't want two in nappies? Been there, got that t-shirt. It's honestly no biggie. Yes, it would have been nicer to potty train DS1 without newborn DS2 hanging off me in a sling (vivid memories of hosing down DS1 in the bath after a poo accident, DS2 screeching in the sling for a feed and me screaming 'f- off!' down the phone to a cold caller who chose that precise moment to phone...😩), but we got there in the end.

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mummydoc123 · 13/01/2018 08:52

I tried to train my son too early (for him -just before he was 3) and just had 9 months of misery. If I'd waited I reckon it would have been far easier for everyone.

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PJsAndProsecco · 13/01/2018 09:07

@ElphabaTheGreen it's not two in nappies I'm bothered about, honestly. It's more the fact I know she will adore preschool and I'll be gutted if she has to delay her start. It's one attached to an infant school so I don't think they have the facilities. There is another private nursery she could attend and I have a feeling they may be more supportive of it all. I may chat to them next week and see what they say. She can attend there until she reaches reception age. They accept the free hours too so it's not a huge difference.