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Is this ok behaviour....?

(12 Posts)
notbillbryson Sun 05-Nov-17 14:09:50

I really want to get a general view on this, as I was a young dad and am not sure what constitutes "normal" behaviour.

I'm no longer with the mother of my children, and the split is now very acrimonious. As a result, I'm finding myself in a position where I'm trying to parent while being held at a distance from my 15 year old twins.

I found out a while ago that after an argument on a family holiday, my children were sent them back home alone, four days before their mother followed. My son says that their aunt checked in on them but my daughter described the house as being like a "drug den - it was great."

I've also recently discovered that my daughter is going to stay in a big city overnight, assuming she and her friend can find a hotel they can afford.

At the moment, I'm at a loss for what to do and am very worried. As I said, I'm a single dad, who was a dad a long time before any of my peers, and don't have much to gauge what's normal. So the questions are simply:

How normal is an unaccompanied overnight shopping trip to a major city - which is about an hour and a half on the train from where she lives - for a 15 year old?

And also, how normal is sending two 15 year olds home from a holiday to stay in the house alone for five days?

Any advice would be appreciated - I just need a broad social sounding board really.


TwinkleStars15 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:41:18

Both are completely unacceptable in my opinion.

twinone Sun 05-Nov-17 21:42:41

It would be a no from me for both scenarios.

LadyWire Sun 05-Nov-17 21:57:06

No and no.

TheHobbitMum Sun 05-Nov-17 21:59:17

I have a 16yr old daughter and no on both counts!

youarenotkiddingme Sun 05-Nov-17 22:00:17

My mum was pretty laid back but no way would I be allowed to do that at 15!

marmiteloversunite Sun 05-Nov-17 22:00:28

Not on my watch. You are right to be concerned.

Purpleforest Sun 05-Nov-17 22:04:11

Hotels won't allow unaccompanied under 18s. Even youth hostels won't allow under 16s without an adult. I'd allow a 15 year old to travel that far on a train if they had, say, a friend to stay with on the other end (but would make contact with the friend's family first)

5 days home alone at 15 whilst the parent is abroad? , no definitely not. I'd have thought social services would not be ok about that either

pinkliquorice Sun 05-Nov-17 22:12:23

My eldest is now 22 at 15 she definitely did the overnight shopping trip and I wouldn’t never of sent her home from holiday to be alone but at 15 I would of left her for 1/2 nights at home with a friend.
It depends on the child not just the age, mine was very responsible and independent but I might not have the same rules for my little ones at 15.
It might be unusual but with out knowing more details on their mother those two occasions alone are not wrong.
I moved out at 15 and was traveling and staying in hotels regularly alone.

BackforGood Sun 05-Nov-17 22:18:20

Agree with others. No and no from me (my youngest is 16, so have experience with this age).

PeasAndHarmony Sun 05-Nov-17 22:20:25

No to both from me, not at 15.

notbillbryson Fri 10-Nov-17 11:14:21

Thanks for the replies. That's basically how I felt - and that's without going into some of the historic issues with my DD. I'll have a look at something to do about it... thanks everyone

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