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How to do everything

(13 Posts)
Jugglingwithfire Mon 09-Oct-17 20:04:14

Does anyone ever just wonder how to get everything done? Recently returned to work 3 days a week with dd in nursery. I just have a constant nagging feeling of not doing enough for her or work or friends.
Is this just life as a working mum?

KatyN Mon 09-Oct-17 20:33:03

Yes!! But also just cut down some of the stuff you do. So two nights a week we eat dreadful dinners. We have a cleaner because there isn’t enough time in the day to clean as well. I’ve only just found time to exercise and my youngest is nearly 2.
At first you will feel like you’re chasing your tail but it will get easier (and then your little one will get poorly and you’ll feel like your drowning again!!)

Snoopyokay Mon 09-Oct-17 21:45:50

Yes have dd 18 months and work 4 days a week. I get nothing done and try and try and prioritise spending time with her over everything else. This means I have no social life and my house is a mess grin

Changerofname987654321 Tue 10-Oct-17 12:44:22

Fuck knows. I have DD in nursery 3 1/2 days even though I only work 3 days but I am really struggling. I have not seen friends for months due to illnesses when we have had nights out and I don’t get any time to exercise. I struggle to get all my work done outside of work hours (I’m a teacher).

I find online shopping, with a limited repetition of meals and cleaner helpful.

Jugglingwithfire Tue 10-Oct-17 13:38:21

Also a teacher. Just about on top of that, well clinging on! Friends and socialising seem to take most of a back seat. I think just accepting the mess and unhealthy meals a few nights a week I suppose. Would love a cleaner

mindutopia Tue 10-Oct-17 20:43:43

Yeah, our house is a tip. I try to keep the spaces we actually need to use (dining table, kitchen counters, etc.) clear and clean, but it's very dusty, toilets don't get cleaned like they should, there are piles of toys in random places that have probably been there for at least 2 months. We hardly ever see friends, literally a few times a year probably, though that's less because we are too busy and more because we are all too busy now. When we have a free weekend when we aren't working or doing something else - we both work full-time including occasional weekends and several evenings a week - they are working or away or sick or something. We make the most of it when we do see them, but it's not often. And if I can help it, we meet them somewhere else so I don't have to clean the house (cleaning for houseguests literally means I need to take a half day off from work as there is no other time in the week to deep clean or do an extra shopping trip!).

Changerofname987654321 Wed 11-Oct-17 07:01:43

I posted a thread in staffroom asking for advice on this and the comments were either ‘it’s impossible to balance being a teacher or. Parent’ or ‘it is easy what are you talking about?’. The second comment was mostly from parents of children aged 5 plus.

I really could do with tips on this. Yesterday was my no working day and feel bad that I did not get to the second of my to do list after doing 5 hours of school work, did zero exercise, did nothing for myself and only spend 20 mins with DH. Something in my life needs to change.

TriGirl007 Wed 11-Oct-17 07:06:44

It’s is very hard when they are under 5 and you do just survive I think. My two are now 6&10, and in the last year I finally feel I have more time for “me” I prioritise exercise as it keeps me sane. And yep beans on toast is dinner once a week & the toilet gets cleaned weekly. The endless bugs when they are under 5 is utterly exhausting but that too will pass. Hang in there and don’t feel guilty about any “cheats” you need.

Cranb0rne Wed 11-Oct-17 09:33:26

It's really tough. We just do the bare essentials now to keep the house clean. Hardly socialise anymore, all my friends also have kids though so they don't have time or energy for nights out.

Jugglingwithfire Wed 11-Oct-17 13:48:43

Maybe it's just that I'm one of the first to have a baby that friends frequently comment that I never go out anymore. I feel guilty for not but if I'm honest by the time baby is in bed, I just want to sit down

TriGirl007 Wed 11-Oct-17 20:36:46

Yep just wait jugglng that will change. My brother was really dismissive of myself & DH when our first DD just didn’t sleep through the night for five very long years as I had the first “baby” in the family, and we did nothing but “survive” & work. Eventually he got his come back when his second baby turned out to not be a “sleeper” grin but he never apologised for his snarky comments when he was pre-kids!! We now have more of a life and he is still in the “survival” place as his youngest is 2.5yrs.

PopsicleToes Wed 11-Oct-17 21:16:49

Another one in survival mode here, and I don't even have a teacher's workload. DP and I both work 4 days, I've just gone back recently and struggling to keep on top of everything. But tbh the biggest thing is DS's separation anxiety which seems to be peaking - he's just about to turn 1. I can cope with having to work really hard just to do my job adequately and stop the house from descending into total chaos and filth and I can even just about deal with the sleep deprivation. but what I find hard to cope with is rushing home from work every night with my heart pounding because I'm worried DS will be having a meltdown and DP can't do anything to calm him (I work later so DP picks up from childminder). Makes DP feel like shit too. For the same reason I can't really be away from home after about 7pm. DS then still wakes every 2 hours or so and only I can settle him so we barely have any time as a couple. Just hoping this super clingy phase will pass soon.

Jugglingwithfire Thu 12-Oct-17 09:56:02

Oh I am with you on the separation anxiety. We are at the same age as you. Sleep sounds similar too! Just a phase i hope!

I can deal with work, in fact love my job, it is just how relentless it all seems and the constant feelings of guilt.

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