Inappropriate messages to Dd

[Iamneverfull]

I left my EA ex partner when my d's was 18 months, i had been very brainwashed and everyone around me seemed to think that my ex was an amazing father, he does love her very much but its almost in a way thats over emotional? She is 7 now, loves her dad very much but there's a lot that worries me.
He sleeps in the same bed as her ROW when she stays
He cries, she cries when she comes home, tells her to be 'brave' holds his face in turmoil and tells her he is lonely.
Sends bombardments of messages, gifs of crying girls holding out their hands, threatens to take away days out, holidays, him visiting if she doesn't respond in time. (Latest is a holiday he is threatening to cancel)
If we go on holiday she is reminded by him that he would love a holiday but he works too hard.
So my problem is that he has an excellent way of fooling everyone around him, if i deal with this (which I don't know how to) he gets very scary. He slams every part of my mothering skills (which I now know are absolutely fine!).
I cant cut contact can I? I would worry that my d's would be traumatised as she loves him so much (which a horrible feeling in my stomach suspects it's done in a grooming/over emotional way)
But I am so worried for her mental health, she worries about him all the time and she shouldn't have to worry about an adult!! She won't wear certain things and hides her likes and hobbies because she's afraid he will deem them chavvy (he used to say this to me too, he thinks he is of very high class)
Any advice to what on earth I do? Another thing is that he terrifies me, he terrifies my family too and bombarded us with hate messages ECT. I'm scared he will turn it all around and go for custody or something? I called an abuse helpline about a year ago who helped me with how to communicate with him when he is being abusive (I stupidly invited him to help out with dd's party but he said i was more interested in helping all the other children than my own..i was looking after 17 children on a Santa tram..so he threatened to go for custody??) Anyway, any help would be great, thank you

[Iamneverfull]

No its not formal, he sees her on a Friday after school and every other weekend. I have spoken to a social worker before but it was a friend's mum. She was very helpful with the situation at the time. I think although I'm not sure that they would be the best people to speak too. But im scared as i haven't protected her from this, i should have left when i was pregnant (when it all started). He didnt warm to the idea and did some horrible things that resulted in nearly losing her. But i didnt leave because i was miles away from home and i was a bit naive. When she was born his attitude changed completely and loved her in this sort of unhealthy way, we had a business together and he took away my maternity leave and would take her and not give her back. Deprive me of sleep..the more I write the more I think what the he'll was I doing, its my fault for not making better decisions at the time.