Will you please tell me about an 18 month age gap

[mude]

If anyone had any tips/advice or just please enlighten me on what having an 18 month age gap between 1st and 2nd children, thank you

[PaintingByNumbers]

Overall, been brilliant for us. Expect the first few years to be completely full on parenting, but reap the reward later as they become independent.

[grounddown]

Awesome. My DC are so close and I'm glad I have this age gap, they are into similar things and play together really nicely.

[Lindtnotlint]

Get help in the early days, especially with bedtime. It's great once they get a bit bigger and you can parent them "as a pair".

[TheVanguardSix]

painting that could be said of any age gap, really. I have no experience-based advice on such a gap other than it's full-on (from observing friends). But raising kids is full-on. I have bigger gaps between my kids. I think the biggest upside with an 18 month gap is being able to do things that both kids will like. I'm constantly having to divide and conquer because my kids' bigger age gaps mean they each have totally different expectations of entertainment.

[PaintingByNumbers]

Hahaha yeah, no, its really much more full on than most other age gaps in the first few years. Twins is probably more full on. As you say, though, when they are older, they like the same things - thats part of why its easier when they are older.

[FuzzyOwl]

Mine have a 16.5 month age gap and it has worked really well. I'm (planned) pregnant again and looking at a 17 month age gap between DC2 and DC3.

[Mothervulva]

I'd agree it's more full on than having say, a four year gap as the four year old is more independent. Or rather it's more relentless in that your never leaving the sleeplessness, nappies pushchair stage? I don't know, this is the only gap I have. Initially I found the 17 months between my two straight forward as a newborn is relatively simple compared to a toddler (bar the sleep), but it intensified when the baby became mobile, needing solids rather than just a boob/bottle and wasn't content to sit in a pushchair. Now they are two and three it's evened out a bit; they play together and can feed themselves etc. I'm planning on having a third and have purposely left a gap of at least three years as I want at least one at school and the other more independent.

[mude]

Thank you for all your mostly positive opinions! I'm a little terrified at the prospect but happy to get the "baby phase" out the way in almost one hit

[Zoflorabore]

I'm 39, my brother is 38, there is 18 months between us.
My mum said it was so much easier as was still in the baby phase, we had each other to play with etc.
She then had a surprise baby 9 years later!

That was hard for her, me and db were in junior school and we were very independent, obviously everyone just got on with it and embraced my little brother but I remember how strange it was having a baby in the house.

I have an 8 year gap between my 2 due to circumstances, ds is 14 and dd is 6.
I would have loved 2 close together in age.

[Bubblysqueak]

We had 20 months but ds1 wasn't walking.
Best buys was our britax b agile side by side buggy. It fit everywhere with great 1 handed steering.

[mude]

@Bubblysqueak now that you mention a double buggy. Does anyone think I will be able to get away with DD in a buggy and newborn in carrier (feel fairly confident about this as carried DD in a sling most of her early days rather than a buggy) and then as new baby gets bigger, transferring new baby into a buggy and older DD on a buggy board behind and therefore negating the need for a double buggy? Or is this all a bit ambitious? Thanks again

[Dementedswan]

I've got a 16 month age gap. Early years were easy. Now they are just turned 7 and nearly 6 it's a nightmare with fighting bickering etc.

[Mothervulva]

I did the double buggy, but always felt in a hot mess having a baby strapped to me and pushing a pushchair. Also, I like piling shopping on it!

[GreekGod]

Becomes easier later on. The beginning is a nightmare as they just fight all the time. Much easier with homework etc. I never regretted having them all close together in age. I have a six year age gap with my brother and have a wonderful relationship with him but would have loved a closer gap.

I hated the double buggy - ended up selling it on ebay. It never worked for me. I had DD in a buggy and DS in a carrier and older DD who was only 3 years old holding onto the buggy with her little hands.

Much easier now they are teens/almost teens.

[kittensinmydinner1]

My first two have a 19month gap then 5yrs. The first two are also opposite sex. I have been incredibly fortunate in that they are all very close.

The eldest two thick as thieves for five years then 'baby' arrived - who they have all doted on.

Grown/teens now, Never bickered, never ever laid a hand on each other. I'm fairly sure it's to with the age gap than my amazing parenting. !

[buckyou]

I've got a 5 month old and a just 2 year old. It's been fine BUT the baby is easy although the toddler is not! So I think it might depend on the baby and toddler. Worst thing is when they both don't sleep well and then keep waking each other up! I'm hoping in a year or so they will start to entertain each other a bit.

[sadeyedladyofthelowlands63]

There is an 18 month gap between me and my sister, and then two years between her and my brother. As children we played as a group, as it were, and now as adults we are still close. It must have been tough for my mother at times, but for us it was great - always someone around to talk to/play with.

[travelmad]

I've got 17m between my two and the first six months were just survival mode. But now its great - they are into the same things so days out are easy. They also play together all of the time and are very close. I definitely say yes to the sling and buggy combo - I did exactly that and never had a double buggy (or even a buggy board). I carried the youngest until the eldest was comfortably walking everywhere.

[mude]

Thank you so much everyone

[mude]

Bumping this thread, as I posted when pregnant and now my DS has arrived.
And i need more reassurance
We are only 5 days in but it seems impossible.. how will I cope once DH goes back to work?!

[backinaminute]

20 month gap here and the early days were so hard. I cried every time I looked at ds1 because I felt like I ruined his life.

My biggest advice is lower all your parenting expectations. We sacked off bathing the toddler every night and totally relied on tv for entertainment. Just do whatever is easiest for everyone as this bit doesn't last forever.

I'm not sure if you got a double buggy...... my plan was the sling - buggy - buggy board but actually sometimes I just needed to strap them both in and go for a walk to clear my head. Fresh air made us all feel better (and eased some guilt for all the tv/snacks). There will be moments of pure love and bliss and some stress (all within the same minute but that's normal)

They are 5 and 6 now and it's awesome, but it is difficult in the early days so just wanted to say it's ok to cut corners. Also accept any help you can get. I appreciated someone holding the baby so I could play with the toddler or cook tea and feel a bit more in control.

Congratulations

[pingpongballing]

Congratulations! I have the same age gap and the baby is now 9m old,the early days seem like a total blur now!

Like pp have said, lower your parenting expectations for now, it's only temporary and it'll pass so quickly so stick cbeebies on while you're feeding the youngest and have lots of cuddles with the eldest when you're not. Definitely try and get a double buggy if you haven't, it's so nice to be able to put them both in and go for a walk together.

Will your dh be able to help with bedtime?