Husband does not help

[mommabear2017]

I have a three year old and a 6 week baby. With our 3 year old my husband never did any night feeds I basically did everything I thought this time round things might be different but here we are again I'm doing literally everything for our children as well as running a house. If i ask him to help with night feeds all I get is sorry I'm at work or I can't youve got a routine or he says well if I do a night feed ile be a grumpy beep all day tomorrow. I'm so frustrated and unhappy he just dsnt understand how I'm feeling or get that I'm doing everything. He spent literally 2 hours the other day polishing his car or he goes of in the garden to do things that don't really need doing . I feel like saying I might as well be a single parent

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Musing out loud "I wonder who is the father of (baby name)? Hey DH, do you know whose baby this is?"

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Musing out loud "I wonder who is the father of (baby name)? Hey DH, do you know whose baby this is?"

[adifferentnameforthis]

I'm genuinely not being an arse but why did you think it would be different this time ? Did you talk about it? Did he give you any indication he wanted to change?

He sounds like an arse, I would key his car if he polished it for 2 hours and left me with the kids (I'd like to say I don't mean that but I remember the sleep exhaustion at 6 weeks and I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't actually)

[FATEdestiny]

Rather than focusing on him doing night feeds and whatnot with baby, a more productive assertion to make would be: 'I'll sort baby out, you are in charge of the toddler'. In practical terms that would look like these sorts of things:

• you do toddlers bedtime while I'm with baby
  
• you do toddlers bath/story while I sort dinner
  
• can you take toddler to the park or somewhere? She's bored and I need to get baby to sleep
  
• you get up whenever the toddler wakes up in the morning. I get up whenever baby wakes.
  
• I will deal with all of baby's night wakes. If toddler wakes for any reason, it will always be your responsibility to deal with