8 year old with a terrible attitude, how to stop this?

[CurlsandCurves]

DS is 8 and his attitude, more specifically his attitude towards me, is just getting worse.
It's like he continually has to have one up on me. I say we are doing xyz, even if it's something that doesn't even involve him and he will start with the sarcastic put downs 'why would you do that?' ' er, yeah right, like that's going to work' 'what if xxx happens'. He's like a dog with a bone, will not let it drop. Even if he's wrong about something, clearly in the wrong, he will carry on arguing he's right about it. Honestly, if I said the sky was blue, he'd swear blind its pink.
Now it's getting to the point where even general conversation is just so damned hard with him that I actually don't want to talk to him for fear of him kicking off about something.
Even him asking for things is just loaded with this attitude.

I feel really sad about it because he is a smart, funny, affectionate lad but he's just such hard work and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

[Aquamarine1029]

Have you asked him why he's so argumentative and told him how it makes you feel?

[CurlsandCurves]

I have tried but he just gets defensive. I get "what??? I was only saying xxxx" as if he was merely making his point and I'm the one with the problem.

[Phillipa12]

My usual reply to my 8 year old is "its not what you are saying but your tone of voice, your attitude stinks and untill you can stop being so cocky/argumentative you can kiss goodbye to your technology". Seems to work well for my ds, i cant abide being spoken to and argued with like im a piece of crap on his shoe, he sometimes seems to forget that im an adult and he is a child.

[boobuzz]

My 7.5 year old son is the same. It is bloody horrible. He's a clever little bugger, and questions absolutely everything...but it seems to be just with me. You have my full sympathy!

[boobuzz]

Mine usually gets upset when I pick him up on his attitude, and says he doesn't mean for it to come across like that and I don't understand.

[RhubardGin]

Just tell him to frankly buck his ideas up. Children do not talk to their parents like that.

Be firm. He's talking to you like that because you're letting him.

[blankface]

He'll do it as long as you approve of it. In his eyes, your approval means no censure.

Go supernanny on him, display a list of rules he has to follow in order to keep his tech-time every day, any attitude and the tech time is reduced by x minutes per day.

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Be patient.
Only another ten years to go. . .
Ask him if his teacher would be happy about being spoken to like that.....

[Fiona1984]

I don't know if they pick it up from TV and friends. DP's son is like this sometimes, and I noticed the kids on the American programmes he watches are always making sarcastic remarks and backchatting.
His dad sometimes has words about his attitudes. Some days he argues about everything, you try to tell him something and it's always "I know!", also looks at me like I'm stupid when I say something.

[CurlsandCurves]

You're all right, as usual! I do need to come down on him for it. DH was fab yesterday, picked him up on manners and behaviour. And guess what, this morning, he's been an absolute joy. Ok he's probably in a good mood coz he's just been dropped off for a day out with Beavers, but here's hoping....