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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Seriously messed up toilet training, need help

15 replies

OuchBollocks · 30/05/2017 08:01

Started toilet training DD on Saturday. She's 2.10, dry for ages with no nappy, speech problems but can say poo (which doubles for wee as well) and can sign for toilet. Saturday seemed to go well, 3 wees in pants but 3 in toilet, no censure or disapproval for accidents, lots of enthusiasm for toilet wees. Yesterday one wee in the morning then none for hours and hours and hours. Lots of sitting on the toilet, nothing coming out. Eventually peed in the bath. She was starting to get very upset so decided to sack it off, back to pull ups, all very cheery no pressure.

This morning, no wee since last night, night time nappy bone dry, up at 6.30 saying 'poo' and pulling at crotch. Wouldn't pee in nappy, took her to the toilet, wouldn't pee in toilet. Jumping up and down legs crossed, saying 'poo', obviously extremely uncomfortable. Finally chucked her in the sink filled with tepid water and she peed straight away.

I have broken DD, how have I fucked it up this badly and how the hell do I fix it??? She can't only pee in water for the rest of her life!

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Gobbolinothewitchscat · 30/05/2017 08:07

You haven't broken her but I do wonder if she has a UTI as it's common to fund it less painful to wee in water and you did me too she hadn't gone for hours and hours yesterday.

I would get a doc app today

Lovelongweekends · 30/05/2017 08:08

Might she have a urine infection and it stings when she wees, the water would ease the stinging?

HeadDreamer · 30/05/2017 08:10

Sounds like she is very strong willed? You haven't broken her. What do you think will relax her on the potty? Will reading a story or watching the TV or tablet do? If you see her distress and wanting to wee can you persuade her to sit on the potty with toy, tv, stories or whatever works for her to sit on it? Once she has done it in the potty, praise her with stickers or sweets to create a positive encouragement. Hopefully she will get the idea soon?

Toilet trainer is the most stressful bit of toddler parentimg. Don't feel bad. You haven't failed.

HeadDreamer · 30/05/2017 08:11

Haven't thought of UTI as I don't have experience with it. Definitely worth a GP visit then!

OuchBollocks · 30/05/2017 08:13

She sat on the toilet for ages watching TV on my phone, and on the first day she peed fairly easily on the toilet. If she does have a uti how can the GP diagnose if she can't provide a sample? Should I keep trying her on the toilet or just stick her in a pull-up? Toilet training sucks.

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HelenaJustina · 30/05/2017 08:20

Sounds to me more like she has learnt the muscle control to hold it in but not worked out the release action... she'll get it, it's still really early days.

My 4th DC nearly broke me when it came to toilet training... 2.5 days of hell! And for similar reasons, she had great control and could hold it for hours but wouldn't let go until it was overwhelming and she had an accident. It got to the point where I knew she needed one, she wouldn't go, we played Peppa Pig stamping in a cm of water in the bath and the second she started weeing, I whipped her out and she did finished it on the potty. We went ballistic with praise and chocolate and she clicked at the voluntary release feeling.

Good luck, it is my least favourite part of parenting so far

Cric · 30/05/2017 08:27

We had a similar experience, DD could hold it in for hours but she is

picklemepopcorn · 30/05/2017 08:41

Ok, so she's getting the idea, just a slightly confused one. Assuming it isn't a UTI, try putting the potty in the bath with the water. Reduce the water until it's only the potty, take the potty out of the bath.

You'll get there. Does she see you go?

Give a jelly bean for every wee in the potty/toilet. And give yourself a jellybean when you do one too, so she knows!

Good luck!

Looneytune253 · 30/05/2017 08:52

Get her to sit on the toilet/potty and blow some bubbles. Works a treat. then lots and lots of praise.

picklemepopcorn · 30/05/2017 10:08

Oh, and run water while she's on the potty, or use a squirty sports bottle of warm water to pour slowly over her vulva while she's sat on the potty. That may help her release. She only needs to go in the right place a couple of times to 'get' it.

HelenaJustina · 31/05/2017 18:37

How's it been today?

OuchBollocks · 31/05/2017 20:33

Squealing habdabs this morning 'poo poo poo', wanted the nappy off, wouldn't stay on the toilet. Eventually peed all over the floor right in front of the toilet Put my foot down after that and left her in nappies, but we've had a very busy day and she's done her wees in the nappy no problem since then, while her mind was on other things. So am assuming it was psychological, and am sacking off toilet training until the summer holidays.

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OuchBollocks · 31/05/2017 20:33

Thanks for asking :)

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picklemepopcorn · 31/05/2017 20:50

Good plan.

HelenaJustina · 01/06/2017 06:40

Good idea, better weather, paddling pool, hopefully it'll click quicker and be easier on all of you!

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