Potty training - am I being lazy or sensible?

[SleepForTheWeek]

DD is 2.5 and we've not attempted potty training yet. We talk about it loads and she has pants which she has occasionally put on (although never for long). Last summer she used the potty casually quite often but for some reason she took a dislike to it and has resisted since. We also have two seats for the toilet but again she doesn't like sitting on them.

She's had issues with constipation and withholding since she was 2, which hadn't helped. She is on daily medication which helps although it still isn't ideal.

I'm due another baby in 5 weeks, I go on maternity leave next week so thought I could attempt it with her when I have more time. The other half of me is telling me just to leave it till the summer and wait until there will be less resistance.

WWYD? Am I just being lazy and should I just bite the bullet? Or am I doing the right thing by following her lead?

The 'oh is she still in nappies?' Comments are now coming thick and fast. She's otherwise very smart and clued up, keeps telling me how much she loves her nappies!

[TheABC]

Given the problems you described (withholding) and new baby on the way, I would wait. It's a pain with two sets of nappies but pushing her would be worse. We were in the same position with DS who finally trained at 3.3. He was incredibly stubborn about it and we did have to go commando for it to work, with a lot of bribery.

2.5 is still young. When the time is right you will know.

[eltsihT]

My ds1 withheld and it was made worse when I tried to potty train. He was 3 years and 6 months when he has it cracked. Ds2 had it cracked at 2 years and 1 month.

I agree with pp you will know when the time is right.

[BaggyCheeks]

I would wait - there's no point putting you and your dd through an ordeal before she's happy to actually do it.

[Cakescakescakes]

Two in nappies is much easier than a newly potty trained toddler and a newborn. They often regress on the arrival of a new baby anyway.

[Dannygirl]

Firstly ignore the comments!! It's nobody else's business and you're not being lazy, you're trying to identify the right time for your child. Personally given the constipation and new baby due, I would leave it and focus on sorting the constipation over the coming weeks, if possible, then go for it in the summer (but not too close to the baby arriving!!). Definitely give it a full week of pants and potty training and see how it goes before deciding if it's working, don't be tempted to go back to nappies on Day 2/3, it's totally normal to have lots of accidents at first. In the mean time can she sit in the potty regularly e.g. Before bath every night to get used to the idea and lots of praise if she does anything? Lots of children don't like using the toilet st the start so don't worry about that. Good luck!

[SorrelSoup]

I would try it for a week and see how it goes, or 5 days. Pants all the time (except at night). When you go out take lots of changes of clothes and the potty if she has a toilet fear. In my experience they can be reluctant to let go of nappies as it's so easy for them, I think kids find it too much trouble and can't be bothered to take themselves to the potty so do need a push. After 5 days of consistency you'll be able to tell if she's ready. If not wait another 2 weeks then try again.

[SorrelSoup]

If it doesn't work I had 2 in nappies and it was actually easy.

[Ecureuil]

I wouldn't train if she's withholding/suffering from constipation. We did (no choice really as she just kept taking her nappy off and sitting on her potty to wee!), and it was a nightmare. We only got a handle on the constipation/poos on the toilet about 2 months ago and she's been out of nappies for well over a year. The withholding got much worse as she didn't want to sit on the toilet long enough to get a poo out.
I'd wait until you've cracked the constipation.

[hazeyjane]

I would wait until Summer, and definitely until after the baby is here.

I work with children and see more 2.5 year olds in nappies than not, ignore the comments.

[megletthesecond]

Sensible. She's got the option of the toilet trainer seat if she wants to. I'd leave it until Xmas (if you're not going away visiting) or next spring.

[Imaginingdragonsagain]

2 in nappies was easy.

[SleepForTheWeek]

Thanks everyone - it's put my mind at ease slightly.

I can't even get her to sit on potty at all never mind at regular intervals. She's very very stubborn headstrong

[Hassled]

Yes, leave it. There's a danger that whatever success you do have now will be undone once the new baby is here - and it's just more stress for her. My DD was very keen to potty-train but with the DSs I left it till their 3rd birthdays - made out that when you are 3 you get presents and cakes but nappies go away, and that's the law. They just accepted it and it was pretty painless.

[Cerberusia]

I was in almost the same position as you. Heavily pg with DC2 and DC1 showed no interest in potty training. I had a few friends who got a bee in their bonnets about how difficult it would be to have 2 in nappies but I was firmly of the opinion that changing a toddler's nappy a few times a day was bound to be easier than cleaning up multiple wee/poo accidents while caring for a newborn.

So I waited until DC1 was getting on for 3. By the time we went for it, it was easy-peasy because they were so ready. They were clean and dry in a weekend.

It would be lazy if your oldest child was clearly ready but you were holding off because of the hassle. But that isn't the case at all. She's not ready and there's no point in forcing the issue. It's perfectly normal to still be in nappies at 2.5.

[Northgate]

I'd wait. A new baby will be a big change for your DD, so I wouldn't be inclined to introduce another big change like potty training at the same time unless I had to, or unless the child wanted to.

But I'm possibly biased as I waited until DC1&2 were almost 3 to start. We talked a lot about it beforehand, had a Pirate Pete book about it we read, etc.

[Bobbybobbins]

Agree with lots of the pp that waiting til after the arrival of the baby is a good idea!

[NataliaOsipova]

Sensible! Summer definitely a better idea; apart from anything else, fewer clothes to change in case of an accident. A new baby arriving must make the stress of potty training 100 times worse.

[SleepForTheWeek]

Well this afternoon just proved it. We've had glorious weather here (for the west of Scotland that's quite rare!) so DD was playing with water in the nuddy. I could tell she needed to pee as she started getting agitated and kept crouching down and holding herself - I had brought the potty out and suggested she sit on it for a pee. She ended up getting so upset by the mere mention of it and kept crying for her nappy. When I put it on her she stood up and after a couple moments said 'aaaaahhhh that's better. Great pee!'

So, not sure how I'm going to tackle the fear of the potty/toilet/peeing out with her nappy - but at least I know she has some bladder control so when it comes to it it'll hopefully not be too difficult.

[Mamabear12]

I think wait until she is ready. But you can help her get ready by reading potty books, get her excited by letting her pick out underwear, etc. Two kids in nappy is fine, mine are 20 months apart and I didn't notice much to be honest. I waited until nursery said my DD ready around age 2.5. I read her books before and she was literally potty trained straight away. I thought w my son he would never be ready, as he had no interest and would refuse and scream if I tried. But I tried every once in a while and read the books and then a little after 2.5 we went for it when he accepted to at least sit on potty. First two days he just peed his pants all the time and never figured out to go in potty. But third day he was completely potty trained. He even stopped going wee at night on his own. I'm a big believer on waiting until they are ready. But also encouraging them and getting them excited for it. But I wouldn't let them wait till much after age 2.5 or 3. As they should be ready by then.