2 under 2... HELP

[kmay17]

CHAOS

Son has just turned 1 and baby girl due in 2 weeks..
Son don't sleep throughout night, last night I must have been up 8 times to see to him for various reasons..

The crawling, the mess the accidents.. I'm so sleep deprived.. Wondering how I will manage when other baby comes.
At this point I don't even feel strong enough to think about labor let alone when it's time..

So tired, sick of waking up to mess.. (Get so tired at night I end up falling asleep before cleaning up)
Only time I really get to do anything is when he's in high chair.. And after 30 mins he wants to get out anyway..

What do other mums do to make things easier & do any of you have tips .. even the tiniest idea id love to hear..


No support as partner works long hours in london, where all my family are.. I'm stuck out of london at home just me and my son..
I thought I would be so on top of things but it's so hard...

Any words & tips appreciated..
Sorry for the big moan. X

[Smcg123]

I feel for you OP, you sound exhausted! can you ask family to come and stay with you for a few weeks? You're about to give birth and you will need time to recover. Can your partner get paternity leave?

[ChangedUsername123]

Playpen? It's literally the only way I get things done (along with a healthy dose of the HooplaKidz YouTube channel playing on the TV)
But our littlest goes in the playpen with all his favourite toys and loves it. A jumperoo was also a life saver from 5 months to 12 months.

Baby wearing is great to get jobs done whilst holding a newborn, one year old can be in a playpen?

[kmay17]

Mum will stay a week once baby is here but as far as family they aren't much help.. And more often than not I get told
"well you wanted it you just have to deal with it"
Harsh, but mum had 6 of us so wonders what I'm moaning about xx

[Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere]

Def utilise a playpen where possible! I had dc3 by emcs when dc2 was only 10months and a playpen was a lifesaver

[SleepyHeadThisTime]

OP what is it that's waking your son up in the night - is it sickness or teething or is he waking up out of habit or for milk?

I have two close together and worried about coping but you do, because you have to and actually, 4 weeks in it's not that bad! Use the telly to entertain the older one if you need to, sling for if the baby's fussy and a double buggy - getting out of the house for a walk once a day is a lifesaver.

[SuperSix77]

I had my first two within a year & no. 1 was still only crawling but it definitely gets easier. I worried what he would get up to when I was sitting feeding no.2...but lots of books, blocks & jigsaws kept him occupied & you will LOVE seeing them grow up so close. Baby-wearing is a lifesaver & a Boba wrap, followed by a Tula carrier have both been invaluable. I never did the playpen thing but it sounds like a good idea. Don't stress over the mess. Just do what you can & the rest can wait. If visitors/family don't like it they know what they can do (either help or zip it!!!) In due number 6 any day now which is proof that (a) it's unmanageable, (b) it does get easier & (c) chaos is fun. Good luck. You'll be fine.

[SuperSix77]

Ha!! Oops... that was meant to say 'I'm due no. 6' and 'proof that it's MANAGEABLE!!!' not unmanageable. Freudian slip??!! 🤣

[JoandMax]

A playpen may help when you need number 1 in a safe place while you sort the baby? I also used to have a couple of cheapy bouncy chairs and kept one upstairs, one downstairs to put the baby in while I dealt with the toddler.

Also I feel much more tired at the end of pregnancy with the 2nd but as soon as he was born I had so much more energy it wasn't as bad as I thought!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I have worked, 22 months and 11 weeks so a bigger gap than you. You mention crawling but not walking? Be thankful. Dc1 does not sit still so it's been very hard to feed Dc2 as his brother runs from room to room.

Playpen/travel cot downstairs is a must. Make some safe spaces (front room for me downstairs. Upstairs is pretty safe I'd I close the bathroom door.

Utilise that time in the highchair. Get into a routine straight away. For me, we get up, both nappy changes, downstairs. Oldest in highchair, baby in bouncy chair. Breakfast. I wash up and sweep hard floors while ds1 finishes breakfast. Put a load of washing on. Get baby down for a nap (he is a MUCH easier baby than ds1 thankfully......) go back up, get me and toddler washed and dressed, play with him a bit while baby naps.

As long as I've washed up and swept, and done some washing, I'm happy.

Go out most mornings, baby group, shopping etc. Ds1 doesn't really do cot naps so we usually go for a walk then put him in pram and walk home for him to sleep. Dc2 in sling. If I'm.lucky they're both asleep and I get an hour or two of peace. I sometimes (not often......) have a snooze with the baby, otherwise I cook dinner for that evening. Bolognaise, chilli, curry etc all easy to cook ahead of time. Or slowcooker. Prep veg or salad etc.

You need to try and address the sleep issues though, what is he waking for?

[Chattycat78]

Yes it's very tough. 17 month age gap here so a bigger gap than you'll have. Main tips from my are;

• go to playgroups in the morning and put baby in sling- you need to get out and get adult company too.
  

-general use of sling! My baby lived in it for about 6 months.

• nursery got older one if you can afford it. My toddler goes twice a week and loves it. It gives me alone time with baby too and a bit of a break.
  

-CBeebies if the toddler will watch it- he could be too young now I guess though.

• you need to find a way to address the toddler sleep issue asap. It's hard enough getting up to a newborn, never mind two of them.