Underage Drinking

[Pen1803]

Myself and my husband have been separated for a year. He has taken our 16 year old daughter away for the weekend to a family engagement party in a hotel. Prior to going out she was given a gin and tonic. At the party he bought her 4 more gin and tonics, and two half pints of lager. She also had two further half pints of lager and her cousin bought her a jagerbomb. I am told she was not sick or anything but clearly I am
very concerned by these events. She is allowed a small amount of alcohol supervised at home occasionally - one glass of white wine, or one bottle of Smirnoff Ice. I have expressed my feelings to my daughter and she just says but nothing happened and I was fine. I feel like I cannot trust my ex to take her away again if this is what happens but I am being made to feel that I am over reacting. I am yet to raise the issue with my ex as she's only just come home. Just wondered if anyone had any thoughts/advice? X

[Wolfiefan]

Of course you can't trust him. A glass of champagne at an engagement party? Fine.
But getting her shitfaced on gin and the rest? Bloody awful.
About 10 units plus in one go? Dangerous binge drinking. He's normalising it. I'm also betting he was completely shit faced himself.

[Isadora2007]

That's quite a lot but she is 16 and if she wasn't sick or unwell she has obviously built up a fair tolerance already. Does she drink with friends? Sounds like she might.

I wouldn't go down the route of talking to the ex. But talk to her and focus on the health and body aspect more than taking the "underage drinking " line as she will blank you out.

Fwiw if it isn't regular then I'd consider leaving it as you risk being the "nagging one" and dad being the "fun one"...

[corythatwas]

Agree with talking to her rather than ex. She is getting to an age where she should not regard herself as passive in these matters. I'd be as calm and reasonable as possible, just point out why this is not a good idea and make it completely clear that unless she is forcibly held down and fed through a funne,l she is responsible for what she drinks and any consequences thereof (have a 16yo myself and really believe this is the only way to keep them safe).