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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Leaving a 2 year old in the bath alone :-/

42 replies

someonesname · 10/04/2017 07:57

So my partner rang his ex last night to speak to his daughter who is a toddler. The ex answered the phone and said 'she's just in the bath at the moment, can you call back in a bit'

So my partner said 'what are you doing? Why are you not with her?' And she said she was doing some jobs around the house.

My partner went absolutely ballistic but she just didn't see the big deal.

She said 'she's a toddler, she's a big girl now' my partner replied with 'she's still a baby'

She said there was hardly any water in the bath and that's it's no big deal and she does it all the time. She said it's the only way she can get stuff done.

I do understand that to a certain point. My kids are 8 and 6 but I've only just started to leave my 6 year old in the bath. Even then I'm always upstairs, checking on her every 5 mins. I would never go outside with either of my kids in the bath.

It wasn't long ago that my partner went to pick up his daughter and found her stood naked on the kitchen table. She had climbed up but couldn't get down. She's a really lovely little girl, very well mannered and sweet but she's also a live wire, you need eyes in the back of your head.

What age did you leave your child in the bath? How should my dp handle this?

He's asked me to post this by the way, as it was all we have talked about last night and this morning

OP posts:

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ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 10/04/2017 07:58

No it's not ok.

SilverdaleGlen · 10/04/2017 07:59

I'd be going to full custody with supervised contact.

And I'd be getting that conversation in writing, maybe text her about it?

SelfObsessionHoney · 10/04/2017 07:59

No it's not ok. It's how small children drown.

corruptcat · 10/04/2017 08:00

At 4 yo it's is okay. Not 2

imNew1985 · 10/04/2017 08:00

Bloody hell this is NOT ok! Omg this is so so dangerous. It takes hardly any water for anyone to drown never mind a child.

corruptcat · 10/04/2017 08:01

And at 4 I mean if you had to pop out of the bathroom to get the phone etc. Not to leave them there

PastysPrincess · 10/04/2017 08:01

Show her this;
www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/37952764

TBH for me that is a dealbreaker, if they cannot understand how dangerous and neglectful this is then they aren't fit to look after the child at all.

Gardencentregroupie · 10/04/2017 08:01

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/39482497

This was in the.news just last week

user1471558436 · 10/04/2017 08:02

The table thing is just one of those things possibly. Mum like any other parent took her eyes off the kid and she climbed the table. Kids can be fast and surprise carers.

The bath thing is unacceptable. Talk to her health visitor and request the mum receives support/information.

someonesname · 10/04/2017 08:02

Oh we know it's not ok :-( and it's also not ok that she genuinely doesn't see that it's wrong. The child is absolutely lovely and she does her very best as a mother but she struggles with some things that are not an issue to most. She ended up apologising at the end of the phone call and she won't do it again. It just makes you wonder what else happens

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SenoritaViva · 10/04/2017 08:04

There was a case recently in grove, Oxfordshire of a drowned child, albeit a 14 month old. Very sad. I would consider whether this woman is competent, there's no way you should leave a two year old alone in the bath.

akkakk · 10/04/2017 08:04

just read the recent news: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-39482497

seefeld · 10/04/2017 08:05

No, I would never do this. There have been cases of toddlers drowning while their parents are gone for a couple of minutes to grab a towel or pjs from nearby rooms. It's not worth the risk.

BillywigSting · 10/04/2017 08:06

Not at all OK at two I don't care how shallow the water is.
My ds is 3.5 and still doesn't get left alone in the bath. Not even to run to the next room to get a drink/book.
He won't be left alone for a long time yet. Think I was around 6/7 when I was left alone for a bath and 8/9 before I stopped needing help to get out. (am v short though and our bath was huge)

user1471558436 · 10/04/2017 08:06

Text her about it so it's in writing. Yes

'im very worried that you're leaving DD in the bath while you do the gardening. Drowning is such a real risk'

Summerof85 · 10/04/2017 08:08

This is frightening. She thinks a 2 year old is "a big girl" ? What idiot would leave a 2 year old in the bath and go outside? Also, what if she slipped in tbe bath and banged her head? At least your DP knows this is unacceptable. I would be taking this further.

booellesmum · 10/04/2017 08:08

I wouldn't have left mine at that age. It is so easy for them to stand up, slip and bump their head.
You can drown in a centimetre of water if you are face down in it.

Mrscog · 10/04/2017 08:09

Oh god that's awful - and I'm always at the younger end of the spectrum on these threads with independence!

Starlighter · 10/04/2017 08:11

I don't go downstairs when my Dd4 is in the bath, let alone in the garden! So dangerous!!

Maybe do some research and find some stuff to send her so she can read up on the risks.

someonesname · 10/04/2017 08:11

Well I'll be showing these articles to my partner, most definitely. Thank you everyone. I feel physically sick :-( I obviously know myself as a mother how wrong this is, like I said, my 6 year old I've just started to leave I've never gone downstairs while she's in. It's just common sense :(

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usernjdhkvdgkb · 10/04/2017 08:14

God that's not ok! My youngest is 2 and a half and I would never leave her unattended, if I needed to pop downstairs for example I would get one of her sisters 10, 12 or 14 to come on and sit with her for a sec!

I'm not sure what age I let them bath alone but I have a rule in my house if they are having bath not shower then the door stay unlocked, my oldest when 10 fell asleep in the bath while unwell and scared the life out of me. She's ill at the moment and yesterday said she was having bath and I told her to leave door open, I then shout up, pop head in just to keep eye on them

MrsPringles · 10/04/2017 08:14

Oh good lord no, my DS is 2 and absolutely no way would I leave him in the bath alone.

His bath time aquatic aerobics need supervision at all time, he's getting quite flamboyant with his moves now and I have to be ready to catch him if he falls or dunks his face

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SuckingEggs · 10/04/2017 08:18

Paediatric A&E nurse said no. Up till five they are not only at risk of drowning but of scalding. She saw one girl with third degree burns from opening the hot tap.

I'd be livid!

SuckingEggs · 10/04/2017 08:18

(This was on a first aid course)

someonesname · 10/04/2017 08:19

There are other things I could write about what she's done but I won't just incase she's on here. It's just one of those things for us where we needed people to say how wrong it is to back us up if you get me? We were both astounded last night - especially my partner.

Yesterday we took the child to the park and I was sat watching them thinking how good my partner is with her. He literally exhausted himself for following her round, helping her up the slide and down again. Like I said, she's a live wire, she's non stop so she wants to be on absolutely everything but he was with her the whole time, he even ripped his jeans on the slide as he got stuck lol. I dread to think what it would be like if the mother was there :-(

And she was outside in the garden???? So she wouldn't of even heard a bang if the child fell. She's not even in the house

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