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Need some advice. Going to lose it!

(8 Posts)
Littlelegs19 Sun 09-Apr-17 19:33:12

My DS is nearly 5 months old and will not be put down, not even for a second. The minute you put him down he screams as if something awful just happened to him. He falls asleep in my arms then I can put him down but if I need to do something, there's no chance. I've even had my neighbour ask if everything was ok as he was screaming so hysterically and all I did was use the bathroom.
Friday night I ended up being rushed to hospital by ambulance for suspected sepsis so I've not felt great all weekend so maybe that and my PTSD has made this weekend even more harder but I have just about lost it this weekend. Had to put him in his cot and walk away. I need some advice on what to do. I've tried putting him down for a moment and coming back to teach him but it doesn't matter if it's 5 seconds of 15 minutes he will just keep crying.

I really can't go on like this much longer

EsmesBees Sun 09-Apr-17 19:35:41

You poor thing. Have you tried a sling? He gets to be close to you and you get your hands free. Otherwise, is he interested in any of those jumperoo type toys? (I can't actually remember what age you can use these from)

Trb17 Sun 09-Apr-17 19:41:41

I feel your pain as DD was just like this. It was so so hard!

Had I known how bad she'd be back then I'd have invested in a good sling and just carried her whilst carrying on. As it was I walked and paced and bum patted for days on end.

She almost broke my sanity, but weirdly then (around 8 months) became a baby that self settled and would sleep for 2-3 hours each afternoon and I had some sanity back.

I remember putting her in her Moses basket in the middle of the living room, shutting the door, then going in the kitchen and just sobbing. It's so so hard but I promise it gets easier soon. If you have anyone that will take him for you for even short periods let them. I really sympathise as it was one if the hardest times of my life flowers

Littlelegs19 Sun 09-Apr-17 20:17:24

We borrowed a sling from someone before we bought one and I'm glad I did because he hated it!
He used to like sitting in his bouncy chair up to 20-30 minutes, now his bum doesn't even have to touch the chair and he starts screaming. The worse part is I can't even sit down and hold him! No! We have to stand! So I spend up wards of 12 hours a day standing rocking him as he only likes to be held in two positions!

We bought a door bouncer but he is just too small for it at the moment.
Is it something we have done that's made him like this? He has always been like it but it's gotten so much worse recently.
He has two teeth nearly through so is incredibly grouchy which doesn't help.
He has also gone from sleeping 8:30-5:30am to waking up every 4 hours and taking at least 1 1/2 to get back to sleep. so I'm back to no sleep. Is this the 4month regression or his teeth?

Tonight I just sat on the side of the bath wondering what the hell id done and wishing I could turn everything back. And no he is sleeping soundly in my arms I feel like the worst fucking mother ever to have thought like that!

weasle Sun 09-Apr-17 20:30:19

Oh you poor thing it's relentless at this stage isn't it.
If you are feeling totally overwhelmed and feel you may snap then you've absolutely done the right thing walking away with baby safe.

I had one of these Velcro babies. A sling was a lifeline. You could try a variety of types - is there a sling meet up near you?

You've absolutely done nothing wrong. Some babies need more contact than others. Do you have anyone to help you? If baby only wants you at least your DH or family could 'mother the mother' and help you with household stuff.

It's only a phase and won't last forever, although it feels like it!

FusionChefGeoff Sun 09-Apr-17 20:30:38

Have you checked for reflux etc? I understand that can be very painful if lying down.

logburnie Sun 09-Apr-17 20:40:49

My ds was exactly like this. He was one of twins, his sister was a 'dream baby', which made me really realise that babies are born with their own temperaments. Like a previous poster he really began to improve at 8 months, almost exactly when he stared to crawl, and gradually got better and better. He is 6 now and is a lovely lovely boy. When we talk about it now we talk about how he just didn't like being a baby!!

Thing is, I really struggled when he was so unsettled, and at times I just couldn't stand the constant screaming. I regret how I reacted then, but at the time I was just so tired and stressed out.

Keep on going, things WILL improve. Try and enlist 'cuddlers' - my ds was settled for a couple of hours one time when I visited my work and the secretary who was desperate for a grandchild just whisked him off :-). I wish I had asked more people for help, I just thought I had to do it myself, and I didn't and shouldn't have tried!!

It is so hard, but trying to work out triggers if you can find any. Even now we try and make sure ds doesn't get worked up if we can, as once he is in a tizzy that's it for a while, he finds it hard to calm down!! I know it is very out of fashion, but I used a baby whisperer type of routine (I couldn't cope with twins without a routine!) and it did help - I really learned to predict when he would need sleep and feeding.

Sending lots of encouragement to you. Things will get better xxx

Rainatnight Mon 10-Apr-17 02:20:31

Poor you. flowers

I know you've tried a sling but it's definitely worth trying others and maybe getting some advice.

I used a sling consultant recently and it was the best £45 I've ever spent. Very different context to you - we adopted our baby DD and really wanted to use a sling to promote attachment. But she seemed like a real sling refuser in the one that we had borrowed. But the consultant asked me lots about her and me, and came up with a few that might work. We tried them and bought the one we liked most and she's super happy in it. She's now 10 months and will even nap in it.

Best of luck

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