Children hostile following contact

[weatherbomb]

Hi all, just looking for ideas on how to deal with my 2 kids who have recently become pretty awful after contact with their dad. We have no relationship at all due to his aggression/dv/harassment etc but kids go alt w-end. Since Xmas the kids have become awful in their return, they're rude, belligerent, entitled and their attitude stinks - they're 8 & 9. This 'up yours attitude is spreading to the rest if the family & is so unpleasant. Its a real shame as they have always been nice kids - no problems at school or anything like that. Have asked my son why he's being so horrid to be told that dad gets really really shouty if he doesn't 😠. No point in speaking to him or his parents as they believe they are entitled to treat people in this way & view the kids as their 'belongings'. Contact is court ordered. Thanks in advance for any 'behavioural management ideas'.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Family meeting about behaviour expectations. .
Explain rules may be x and y at df but at home you expect a and b.
Tell them you don't like them when they get back and will allow a few mins of readjusting to being back home but no more!!
I have been there with ds x3 and its a nightmare. .

[weatherbomb]

Thanks Wish, for a while I thought I was imagining it! I've started telling them to leave any bad thoughts outside once we're home they expected to act properly. it's hard as they are young but they definitely know what they are doing is wrong. Sadly ex is not beyond trying to turn them against me just out of spite. Just making sure tgat the boundaries are in place & they know what these are.