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Do i have any right to know his number?

(7 Posts)
ilovehalloumi Thu 02-Mar-17 12:00:14

Just need some advice, H and I have split up, he has treated me horribly since. He has DD (5) fairly inconsistently, I am doing the best I can to make sure they maintain a relationship.

BUT - he has now changed his number and blocked me on every type of social media, he occasionally unblocks me on FB chat to tell me something or ask me something and then immediately reblocks me. This means when he has DD, and often when he doesn't, i have no way of contacting him or DD.

I feel really uncomfortable with this, what if something happens while she is at school, I can't let him know. Or what if something happens to me while she is in his care and I can't pick her up or something? Or what if I need to/want to contact her.

Is he doing anything wrong? Do I have any rights to have an open channel of communication with him?

Fucking fed up of this.

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Mar-17 14:20:12

I do not believe you have a right to his contact details. But happy to be corrected, because I'm not certain.

If something happens to DD in your care and you cant let I'm know, that would be his problem because he'd given you no means to let him know. So he couldn't have issue with this. Its not illegal or anything, you would have parental responsibility so don't need him in any way.

If something happens that meant you couldn't collect her - same as above really. He's just have to parent through the emergency and keep DD (as he would have done even if you had his number). He couldn't complain about you not letting him know, but he should surely realise that.

If something happens while she is in his care, he is a parent the same as you. So he can make those decisions and parent the same as you can. He doesn't need you to come in and take over as parental responsibility. Yes, as a responsible person he should let you know as soon as he could, but I don't believe this would be a legal requirement. Your DD would still have a parent with her.

I do not believe you have any rights to contact her while she is with her dad, even if you wanted to.

Gillian1980 Thu 02-Mar-17 17:15:52

I think legally you probably have no rights and agree with what fate said above.

However, I wouldn't be happy at not being able to contact him at all. For example if my parent suddenly became critically ill and I wanted to take dd to see them in hospital to say goodbye...not being able to reach him to arrange that would be upsetting.

Would he compromise and give you contact details of a friend or family member who you can go to who will in turn contact him. With the agreement that its only for exceptional circumstances?

Trifleorbust Thu 02-Mar-17 18:43:08

I don't think I would be willing to send my child for contact without some means of getting in touch. I probably wouldn't have a leg to stand on legally but still, I would have a go.

LittleNettle Sun 05-Mar-17 00:04:49

I believe - while you may not be legally entitled to his contact details - you should have a contact number for him under the understanding that it is only to be used to contact him re. your child/childcare. This could be looked at again when your child gets to an age where they are contactable via their own phone when not with you, but until then I would definitely suggest having a phone number for him. 😊 It seems like the sensible option to me - and it is slightly unreasonable of him to expect you to be comfortable with the idea of him not being contactable - would he be okay with this is it was the other way around?
Good luck though!

Lucked Sun 05-Mar-17 00:18:27

Well he also had no right to your details, I would certainly block him on Facebook, it isn't fair he can contact you but not vice versa.

NapQueen Sun 05-Mar-17 00:20:00

Id ask him to arrange a suitable person who agrees to liaise in case of emergency - could one of his family members be that person?

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