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A third baby?

(25 Posts)
Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 13:32:24

I have a question for you, I'm not really sure what kind of answer I'm looking for either which is unhelpful. Really what I want to know is what was life like as a family of five?!?! Dh and I keep toying with the idea of adding to our brood. I don't think the longing for a larger family will go away albeit we are often in utter chaos! I worry that life will be more challenging financially as in maybe we can't enjoy all the things we can as four (shallow I know) and that I can't spread myself with love and attention any further. We would need a bigger house etc.

This will sound crazy but we ended up with a dog to supplement the pang but needless to say it hasn't gone!

I know I will never regret another child!
I'm an only child I've never experienced sibling relationships so am clueless!

More too it Ds is currently being assessed for asd, albeit low levels, he is doing brilliantly in he new preschool and shouldn't have too many problems in school it's really just social where he struggles. Dd complete diva! But thy have a strong bond and I'm unsure whether I'm upsetting that either!

Anyway what a ramble! Think I've again spun myself around in circles I'm good at that! Haha😜

bingisthebest Sun 26-Feb-17 20:21:27

I always felt like I wasn't complete after 2 and my no 3 is now nearly 3yo. She is amazing. It is very hard work. I'm sure not everyone feels like this but we find having young children hard at the mo. No time to think or do anything for yourself. Constant 3 small demanding people. But of course you won't ever regret a child.

Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 20:35:00

Thank you bingisthebest

I'm imagining that is how I would feel too
My two are 3 1/2 and 2.3 months so my youngest would be over three when baby would be born

Just can't shake the incomplete feeling.

Lovelongweekends Sun 26-Feb-17 20:39:55

We just didn't feel complete after two, dd3 is currently 5months old and snuggled in my arms! It's hectic but I love it!

AllTheLight Sun 26-Feb-17 20:41:51

I have three, I have to tell you that my third was the hardest baby by miles and it was really tough for a few years! It's lovely now though smile

nottakenpersonally Sun 26-Feb-17 20:44:41

Yes it's chaotic, but worth it. Now I feel our family is complete. Mostly ;-)

BlueVelvett Sun 26-Feb-17 20:49:12

I have one child but my sister has three. She finds it hard. There is so much washing for a start! But I would give anything to have a big family (I can't have any more kids) so id say if your prepared for a hard but fun life then go for it!

Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 21:02:24

Lovely comments ladies thank you so much for replying! I'm so tired all the time and feel I barley cope with two but underlying I must enjoy the madness!

I can't keep trying to fill the void with pets lol!

And super cute lovelongweekends!

LilaAndLenuccia Sun 26-Feb-17 21:13:25

lots of similar threads over on the Larger Families board, to give you lots more insight!

Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 21:22:10

Found the larger families board! That will be good reading thanks!!!

jackieeee Sun 26-Feb-17 21:23:46

I could write your post myself.
Currently have two and really thinking about a third. I am between thinking of how hard it is but then thinking how lovely it is. Also, financially we would suffer

eviethehamster Sun 26-Feb-17 21:29:29

We didn't feel complete after 2 either and although the timing couldn't be worse financially, we did have a third. It was a but of a shock and is a huge amount of work, but we don't regret it.

BearGryllsHasaBigRope Sun 26-Feb-17 21:31:35

I have three. It's absolutely relentless. I never sit down. My husband and I are exhausted all the time and we don't get anywhere near enough sleep. I never feel on top of everything. But it's great. I love having 3, and I wouldn't change it for even a second.

Sparklingbrook Sun 26-Feb-17 21:33:43

I have two. They are now teenagers. I am so glad I don't now have 3 teenagers.
Moneywise/spacewise everything wise two teenagers is plenty.

Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 21:34:44

Jackieeeee I feel for you! It's always in my thoughts especially the finance however
I think we will go for it
One of my biggest worries is getting old looking back and feeling regret of not going for it

It's lovely to know that you all seem to be surviving the chaos!

NotInMyBackYard1 Sun 26-Feb-17 21:37:43

I have 3, all 3 years apart. My first two are girls and they either play together beautifully or fight like cat and dog, third is a boy - he was a revelation! Cheeky, funny, affectionate - I am SO glad we had him and didn't stop at two.
Life is hectic and I feel like I am always chasing my tail, I do work FT though, as does my DH. And we have two dogs - glutton for punishment here!

AllTheLight Sun 26-Feb-17 21:38:17

Just to mention that if your DS had ASD there is a higher chance that if you have another baby he/she would also have ASD.

Redpramlady Sun 26-Feb-17 21:46:32

Yes the asd thing is. Big worry for me
Ds is so low level but I have worried about if it was far worse in another child

Haha two dogs too! Fun fun fun!

Okite Mon 27-Feb-17 07:05:41

I have three, bit older now, my eldest is off to secondary school this year.
Quite honestly, I'd say if you are not totally sure, don't do it. It's unbelievable how much harder three is than two, it's not 50% more work somehow. It's much more than that.
The washing is absolutely endless, I do several loads a day and never get to the end. There's never enough time to spread around conflicting demands. Even when two parents are home, there are times when someone is left out or just has to tag along with whatever another one is doing - we're probably at the worst stage for this right now as the out-of-school activities multiply but they are not really old enough to be left at home for any length of time.
im on the lookout for a new car, but have to bear in mind that soon I'll be driving three teenagers around so need something that will effectively carry 5 adults - I thought three car seats was a tough criteria!
Holidays are impossible or very expensive to get anything that caters for a family of 5, other than self-catering cottages.
Of course my youngest is an absolute sweetheart, and has brought so much joy to our lives. I'm very happy with our family but it is genuinely tough.

Hotpinkangel19 Mon 27-Feb-17 07:08:06

We are in the same situation now OP but for baby #4.

Millybingbong Mon 27-Feb-17 07:12:35

We have 3 and I don't identify with all the complaints so I think it is different for everyone.

Our youngest is 15mo the other two 3 and 4. Our problems are eating in restaurants - the baby likes to climb out highchairs so you need two eyes on him mostly. And it is annoying that I can't take all 3 swimming.

We don't really indulge in laundry and we have a big car for car seats which we will basically always have.

We don't believe in doing every type of activity. So far the older two only do swimming and we have managed to get those on the same day so it is only one evening out.

We also planned to live in the town so they will be able to walk places when older and will be convenient for lift shares.

We don't want a fourth. 3 is perfect to us.

Sparklingbrook Mon 27-Feb-17 07:22:54

I do think the teen thing needs consideration. What if all 3 want to go to Uni? DS1 has just learnt to drive and passed his test, it cost £££s.They do nothing but eat too. grin

Re cars. DS1 is 6'2" and still growing and can't actually get in the back of some cars. sad

Afreshstartplease Mon 27-Feb-17 07:26:46

We have four

The older three 9,7+3 play lovely together

The jump from 2-3 was a bit tricky (3-4 was easier)

cheminotte Mon 27-Feb-17 07:30:03

I would be worried about ASD tbh. To be picked up at preschool means its either not as low level as you say or you have a very switched on preschool. 20% of a sibling having it, which increases if you have more than one with it.
Don't underestimate how important the social side of school life is.

Want2bSupermum Mon 27-Feb-17 07:42:43

Are you me? We had 2DC, DD1 who is complete diva and DS who has ASD. I fell pregnant, it was unplanned, with DD2 who is a complete little character. I love her to bits and she will turn one next week.

I work FT, currently way more hours than I should, and will be moving to new job with no more than 50 hours a week.

Only go for #3 if you know you are ok financially. It is a lot more expensive as we need a much bigger, more expensive car and the larger home is much more expensive because we don't want to move out to the burbs. I will admit that childcare expenses are taking forever to be over with but if you aren't working you don't have that sword hanging over you. We have been paying for daycare since 2011 and will be finished in 2019. It is a long time to be working for minimal pay after childcare costs.

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