Overly indulgent grandparents

[L00p]

Hi,

I'm lucky enough to have my parents close by who look after my toddler son a few days a week while I work. My husband and I usually do a bit of tough love, and try not to indulge him when he's throwing tantrums etc - for example I won't make him his own meal if he doesn't want to eat what's on the table, and also we tend to leave him to cry for a bit when he's fussing and refusing to sleep. On the latter, 9/10 nights he'll go to sleep on his own no problem, however on the nights where he is fussing we leave him to cry but will fall asleep within 10 minutes

However my parents will not put up with any crying / tantruming at all and will give him to his every whim - where now recently in the last month or so (26 months) he will not go down without a very convoluted bedtime routing with his crying getting worse and worse and we have to go into his room several times before he'll settle

How can I manage my parents away from this? I've spoken to them about it but they just ignore me even and will go and bring him back downstairs when i specifically tell them not to. His behaviour is getting worse and I'm sure it's because he's getting conflicting parenting style from us/ his grandparents and his tantrums are getting him what he wants

[Trifleorbust]

This is a difficult one because they aren't your childminders, they're doing you a favour. That means you can't dictate 'style' to them.