whats for dinner? head ache over feeding DC's

[happyfrown]

Im just trying to do the weekly meal plan so I can order shopping list. every week I have the same daunting task of trying to think up a weeks worth of wasted meals its really grinding on me.

ds1 is really good and will try anything. ds2 and dd is a whole other story!
between them they don't like any type of sides like chips, mash, rice etc. dd wont eat breaded chicken then says plain chicken is dry. don't eat fish, ds don't like beans or gravy. both not keen on bolognes, roast dinner, most veg... even if we are out and as a treat dd don't even like Mc donalds

I eat quite healthy and cook a separate meal as it is. they wont eat salmon with veg side for example.
DD will eat ravioli or mac cheese (out of a can) everyday of the week, ive tried cooking mac cheese fresh but she didn't like it.

ive tried meatballs (fresh) with pasta, dd don't like it in tomato sauce and ds2 don't like gravy so one way or the other - one wont eat it. shopping is costing a bomb where im having to buy meals for up to 3 different menus.

ive tried countless new meals, stood for hours in total cooking for it to go in the bin. im at my wits end.
SO my question is, what do you cook? give me some ideas for fussy eaters.

[sofato5miles]

Be much stricter with meals. My children have 3 things they won't eat each. They never have to eat it. My DS for eg, doesn't like butter, cheese or avocados. DD doesn't like fish, lettuce or egg.

The list can change monthly but they have to eat the dinner i cook or no dinner nor pudding.

[sofato5miles]

Simple dinners are jackets and beans, spag bol (half lentils now but that was introduced gradually), faijtas, pork burgers with chopped veggies, pasta with tomato sauce with veggies or chicken ( a little cream added for DD).

[happyfrown]

sofa theres been many evenings dd has gone without eating dinner, then I worry she hasn't eaten and give in to her asking for yougurt, small moose, crisp. she has been hard work from weaning age. im surprised she aint all bones.

ive tried jacket potato, they both don't like potato in most forms. ds will eat a few chips. ive even tried home made, chunky, fries, home made sweet potato... ds also doesn't eat beans.
ive tried easy meals, as said bolognes- which is picked at, chilli con carne is refused by dd and most wasted by ds. tried pasta sauce dishes, bakes... they just pick and after a few bites it gets left.

I do try and get them to eat what ive cooked, just point blank refused. we don't tend to have puddings - might start if it temps them to eating but they are stubborn.

[PootlewasthebestFlump]

It's hard. DS is adopted and also has sensory issues so food is difficult.

2 things have helped a bit:

A list of foods he will eat (we encouraged him to list as many as he could not just favourites); and

Serving food 'family style' so the potatoes in a dish, different veg, and with different mains if needed and everyone chooses a bit of what they want with no pressure.

Gradually he's eating more but it's like 3 steps forward and 2 back.

There are many times I say to my DH 'That's it I'm not cooking any more' out of the sheer frustration of it!

[happyfrown]

it is frustrating.

I have before asked what they 'want' to eat and I get 3 different preferences! they just cant seem to agree.
I make meals like stews/casserole but the potato, carrots, onions are left so technically they have eaten just beef or chicken. oh but dumplings vanish

I could lay a buffet and it would still turn noses up.

[ChangedUsername123]

My DS1 doesn't like chicken or meat really, but he will eat 'Cyprus Chicken' (it's not Cypriot at all, just a family recipe that somehow earned this nickname )

It's a whole chicken boiled, or chicken fillets boiled, whatever takes your fancy. With a chicken stock cube and a squirt of lemon juice.
When the chicken is cooked, take it out the water and shred it. Whilst you're doing this, whack a load of spaghetti into the chicken stock water and cook it.
Once the spaghetti is cooked, drain the water off and put your chicken back in the pan. Then grate in a load of cheese (we use the cheapest Red Leicester) and add about 1 lemons worth of juice into it (or as much as you like really)

My DS loves the spaghetti, doesn't notice the chicken, and loves the cheese and lemon! Cheap dinner, spaghetti is only 20p and a whole chicken costs £3.50. Comfortably feeds 5 people. Sometimes we'll add sweetcorn into it or serve carrots as a side

[SilenceOfThePrams]

Don't give in to the yoghurt/mousse/crisps later. Just put their unfinished plate in the fridge at tea time, and bring it out again when they say they are hungry.

[CatsCantFlyFast]

Can you write a list (however small) of things they will all eat? Say you can get this list to 7 things then I'd serve one of those every night alongside whatever you're cooking normally. That way there's always something they will eat plus something new for them to get accustomed to. I suspect it's not that simple (if you could find 7 things you'd be feeding them it) but that's what I would aim for

[happyfrown]

change I will try that recipe as they can add their own amount of cheese, ds2 don't like cheese but being optional it could work.

silence as much as im moaning I couldn't serve them hours old food and they do need tough love. BUT im just trying to see if I can find food/ideas they will eat without it going into the bin or fridge for later.

notwithoutyes I decided earlier not to write the list after staring pointlessly into a huge folder of recipes. instead im going to sit them down and get them to write down foods they will like and see if I can find recipes based on them. my hopes aint high as I cant see there being much of a list. more like shoulder shrugs and puzzled faces.

[happyfrown]

haha silence seeing your spelling of mousse, id realised my spelling mistake. that dd can eat a small moose

[parklives]

You won't serve them 'hours old food' that has been stored in the fridge?
Instead you give them junk/processed food? Sorry op they have you very well trained, so are very unlikely to change unless you lead the process.

[neonrainbow]

Do you never have leftovers for lunch the next day? I wouldn't think twice about eating "hours old food!" Stick the dinner in the microwave for a couple of minutes voila, if dd is hungry then she'll eat it. It's not as if you're serving her food you know she hates.

[SilenceOfThePrams]

I wouldn't serve ancient food, but if my child refused to eat at 5, and then claimed hunger at 7, is whip it out of the 'fridge and offer to heat it up.

I do get the despair though - I have a child who changes what's acceptable on a daily basis and it is exhausting.

I've had to relax my stance on some things, and we now have ketchup or Mayo on offer with every meal. If a splash of red sauce gets the peas eaten, then that's a win for me. Even roast dinners...

[happyfrown]

that's the problem neon dd dislikes most food, will eat a few meals but she cant have it every other day.

silence they don't eat it because they aint hungry its that they don't like it, ive tried different foods to challenge the taste buds.

today I done seasoned chicken breast bites with chips. dd ate the chicken & left the chips. reheated chips taste rubbery, I cant think of any more ideas to go with the chicken.

I was a fussy eater as a child, its my karma I guess.
I use to hate chicken and mushroom but love it now.

[happyfrown]

worded that wrong when I said I cant think of any ideas... my idea would be some thing like broccoli, sweet potato chips maybe sweet corn. but id be wasting my time and money.

[corythatwas]

Afraid I'm another one who finds it mildly shocking that you won't consider eating leftovers. Does that mean you throw any leftovers away after an ordinary meal? Or that you think people who do batch-cooking to make several meals at once are doing something bad or unhealthy?

My ds was a major fusspot. We dealt with it partly by cooking the kind of food he liked once or twice a week, and then pointing out that as there were 4 people in the family other days would have to be given over to their preferences. I would not force him to eat, but equally I could not tolerate any rude comments to the cook.

The main trick was not to worry about it. I told myself that I was cooking for my own pleasure so if he didn't enjoy it I had not wasted my time. And if he ate his allocated piece of chicken and didn't touch the rice, he was hardly going to make himself ill from starvation. It took a few years and he was very slim but he is now eating more and more and looks a very healthy weight to me. Any time spent worrying about this was quite clearly time wasted.

[Crumbs1]

Don't ask what they want and don't try to pander to,their whims. Plan your meals, cook the meals let them eat or not but don't accept moaning about menu. Don't provide snacks outside of meals and tell them they are too fussy. You are growing spoilt young people - how do they cope at other people's houses? Mine were always told it was incredibly rude to not eat the food someone had spent time and money preparing. Visiting children also had the take it or leave it option - which mustn't be too hard as I rarely cooked for less than a dozen when children were still at school.

[drinkyourmilk]

How about toad in the hole? I make it in cupcake tins.
No rice at all? So no risotto? I've found that goes down well- or made into arrancini.
I'd also get strict- but we all do things differently, so no judgement from me.
When I've had very fussy eaters in the past (nanny for over 15 years) I've found allowing unlimited sauce (ketchup/mayo) with every meal can help- and after a month or so cutting it down /out gradually over 6 months or so, noodles in a Chinese style sauce with beef/chicken? Bbq pork/chicken always went down well.
Also found allowing them to choose own portion size helps, I'd happily offer plain yogurt with home pureed fruit, pieces of fruit as dessert regardless of how much is eaten.
Burgers (home made so you can control the amount of crap added- plus I'd add pureed/minced veg or lentils in increasing amounts), adding grated/minced veg to any sauces they eat, adding salt/sugar (and again decreasing very gradually over 6 months) to home made foods- to make it taste more like mass produced food.
it's incredibly frustrating I know!

[Doughnutsandrainbows]

Is it possible to get them to help make what they will eat/ making things that are easily changeable e.g. homemade pizza with range of toppings can choose cheese or not could choose base e.g. bread/pitta/pizza base.
If you know one likes tomato based and one likes gravy can you have individual portions frozen and when doing something like meatballs just whip out their preferred sauce?

[llangennith]

You make and serve a child-friendly meal, they can eat it or leave it. The meal will include at least one thing you know each of them will eat. They won't starve. Even the most stubborn of children will eat before they starve to death.
Don't ask what each of them wants, tell them in the morning what you'll be serving for tea/dinner and they have all day to get used to it.
Unless you are quite happy to continue wasting food and moaning, change your ways!