Hitting two year old

[user1469631009]

Hello, any advice would be great my two year old has recently started playgroup and we have revived incident report after incident report for him hitting and smacking other children I really don't know what to do . I have asked the playgroup what they are doing and have reinforced their kind hands and time out whenever he has these out bursts at home which to be honest is rarely ! I just hope he hasn't got aggressive behaviour . Any advice would be brill.

[Hufflepuffin]

I was literally coming on to post the same thing about my otherwise incredibly sweet two year old. It's like he can't help it and I don't know how to stop him doing it (obviously I intervene when I can and follow him closely when I'm out and about)

[Trinpy]

It's very normal behaviour at this age. They have all these big emotions which they don't know how to deal with so they lash out. I expect he's feeling overwhelmed by starting playgroup, which is why you don't see that behaviour so much at home.

My 2 year old went through a hitting phase which we are just coming out of. I can tell you what worked for us but otherwise was different in his case because the hitting was at home.

I named his feelings, e.g. I can see you're feeling sad/cross/whatever. He's picked up on this really quickly and will now tell me how he's feeling so we can find a way to make him feel better before things escalate.

We bought a book called Calm Down Time which he promptly used to hit his brother over the head with. It's got ideas of things toddlers can do when they're feeling sad or angry to help themselves plus a bit at the back for parents. He's learnt things like taking deep breaths or asking for a cuddle when he needs it from reading the book with us.

We made him his own quiet space where he can go if he needs some time to calm down. He uses this a lot. Is there a quiet corner at playgroup where he could be encouraged to go if he needs a break? If he has a favourite soft toy or something from home he could have with him that might help too?

I don't really agree with time out for 2 year olds because I don't think they understand it and it seems mean to punish them for breaking rules they haven't even learnt yet iyswim? That's just imo though, the main thing is whether you think it's helpful for your ds.

[Hufflepuffin]

Thanks for the ideas trinpy. What I find really difficult is that half the time the hitting comes out of nowhere, so I find it really hard to name the feeling. When he swipes a child that playing with one of his toys (at home), I can tell him how he's feeling etc but when he just walks up to a child in the park and pushes them over for no reason I find it hard to name what's happening, because I just don't understand it. I'm going to order the book you recommended. Maybe we should start practising deep breaths now, perhaps some yoga?!