Tell me about the average day with your newborn

[Moonrocks6]

Not sure if what we are currently doing is the average so wanted to ask about your average day with a newborn.

Currently I do most nightfeeds and only wake DH if baby won't settle. I am breastfeeding so there's not much he can do.
He gets up with dd at about 8 and gives me an extra hour or so in bed. He is back at work on Monday so this will stop.
The day is spent in a blur of feeding every two to three hours, changing and sleeping. We either nap when dd does or we attempt to get s shower, eat, do jobs etc

Evenings she is generally fussy, once we have confirmed that she is definitely not hungry one of us cooks tea while the other rocks, sings to and generally tries to stop baby from screaming.
We all go to bed together some time between 10 and 11.
And repeat.

Please tell me how your day compares with mine. I'm starting to wonder how normal this is.

[MummaBear31]

Totally normal for a couple of weeks, soon baby should get themselves into a little routine so you can work around that. Until then, keep doing what you're doing and enjoy the snuggles! You're doing great

[PotatoBread]

First few weeks were a never ending cycle of sleep eat change repeat with feeds about every 3 hrs.

DD is now 13 weeks and established her own routine at about 8 weeks. It's still sleep eat change repeat but with longer stretches in between and more alertness.

[Moonrocks6]

Thank you so much for your replies. I am usually generally confident in my decisions but this baby has me questioning everything!
I'm so worried that I'm not doing the right things that I'm not enjoying her and am feeling really over emotional.

[LottieDoubtie]

All totally normal. You are doing great.

You will spontaneously burst into tears at things over the next few weeks months you will doubt yourself, feel exhausted and wonder what the hell you've done. You'll also feel happy, smile and enjoy the cuddles and snuggles.

If you feel worse than this, chat it through with your HV/GP but feeling a bit confused and at sea is totally normal.

[Quodlibet]

Sounds pretty normal to me. You won't notice it changing but as pp said, in a few weeks time you'll have a bit more routine, it won't all be a blur and baby will be a bit more interactive.

Is there any particular aspect of it you are doubting yourself over?

[Moonrocks6]

It's mainly nights st the moment. I wrote another post about difficulties in feeding. She is currently screaming but refusing my boob even though she must be hungry. We've been like this since 11. I'm starting to find that I'm getting anxious towards bedtime which doesnt help.
I wondered if there was something that I was getting wrong in the day that was impacting on nights.

[Turneeps]

I spent about 3 months feeding/ changing / trying to get her to sleep/ trying to stop the crying. Then it got easier/less crying but still demanding.
Just go with your instincts.
Breastfeeding is hard.
Babies are hard.
Well done, keep going.

[fruityb]

I asked exactly this myself a couple of weeks ago! DS is six weeks and we're having longer periods of alertness and he's smiling and generally getting more interesting. But it's still eat sleep nappy repeat! He takes a 6oz bottle every four hours. For the six nights prior to this he slept from between 8 and 10 till 6am! However we dared to dream and last night he went to sleep at half 7 which I knew was a recipe for disaster and lo he was awake at 3, as he would be, and didn't feed back to sleep. I got up with him and he's now asleep on me so I may brave putting him back down!

It's hard and you feel like you should have a routine or you're doing it wrong, but you're not. They'll let you know when they're ready or at least ready for you to start routines. Until then they'll be ruling the roost! DS is a good boy and we're slowly losing the intense crying in between sleeping eating and pooping. Which is a pleasure I'll be honest! It's mad how as an adult we all can't wait to sleep yet babies who need it most fight the living crap out of it!

You're doing great.

[popthisoneout]

Dd is 17 days. She sleeps pretty much all day with roughly 3 hourly feeds, so I catch up with sleep in the morning, then do a few jobs, collect DS from school, try unsuccessfully at various points to get her in the cot.

By 6pm she's starts wanting to feed constantly until around midnight, then wakes 2 hourly to feed again. So basically I'm just feeding all the time!
She's also very windy so I'm spending hours winding her which is boring but necessary.

Sounds pretty similar

[Moonrocks6]

Thank you all so much.

She had a couple of really liquid poo filled nappies last night and finally went down at about 2:30 after refusing to feed for hours.
I've just woken up and panicked that she's not fed in a good few hours so woken her and tried to feed.
She still won't latch but is fussing.

Have I been an idiot in waking her when I'm onto a good thing? Or would you be concerned that she's still not interested in food?

[Mol1628]

Personally I wouldn't wake a healthy sleeping baby. If they're asleep leave them.
Everything sounds normal. Doubting yourself is also pretty common. But you'll find your way. They change so much at this age so what you're doing this week might not work next week. Just got to go with it.

[Moonrocks6]

Thanks mol. It just seems like such spmg time when she usually feeds every 3 hours max.

[popthisoneout]

When did she last feed?

[Caper86]

Newborn babies are difficult! It does get easier, hold on in there. We're at 16 weeks now and at about 12 weeks I started to feel a bit more in control and like I was doing the right thing. I think it's totally normal to question yourself with first borns. Could not feeding be down to reflux?

[milkshakeandmonstermunch]

Congratulations!!

Yeah, totally normal day! With DD1 the first 6 weeks was really just one long day for me. Feed/change/sleep. Same as you - bf so no point in DH getting up. I tried to get out for a walk around the block with tha pram each day - sometimes I managed that, sometimes I didn't. I started bumos and babies at around 6 weeks when I felt a bit more human and built on the social side from there. At your stage it is really just about getting through the day and sounds as though you are doing brilliantly.

Also, DD cluster fed every night (6pm til midnight) from week 2 to week 10. "Evening fussiness" is normal. kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/
DD settled down eventually and I went on to bf til she was nearly 2 (not the original plan at all, she just wouldn't stop once we got the hang of it....).

[EsmesBees]

Could the screaming be wind? Mine used to cry and cry after a long cluster feed. DH would walk around winding her, we'd hear a tiny pop and she'd settle right off for about four beautiful hours. Newborns are hard, but it will get so much easier very soon. Likewise, breastfeeding is hard at the start, but in just a few more weeks it will get quicker and easier. Hang on in there!

[TheChineseChicken]

Sounds like our experience. I changed so many nappies I thought I must be doing something wrong and it felt like complete chaos. Ditto with feeding. I started to convince myself that it would be like this for the rest of my baby's life. And then it changed and settled down.

[TheChineseChicken]

I also constantly questioned myself (still do). It's really hard and you feel out of control. But it genuinely does get easier. Not easy! But easier

As for waking a sleeping baby, if their weight is ok I would say don't. We tried to on the advice of a HV and it was awful. Crying all round. Never did it again.

[Moonrocks6]

Thank you all so much. She is now feeding. Thank goodness.
I think she must have a bit of an upset tummy as she is passed by lots of wind and I think may have pood again. The last two were very liquid. Daren' t disturb feeding to check.

[Quodlibet]

They are just growing into their digestive systems at that age. Mine had loads of tummy trouble in he early weeks - wind, vomiting, loads of liquid poos. It's not you doing anything wrong, it just takes a little while for them to get used to digesting stuff and for it all to work smoothly.

[JohnLapsleyParlabane]

Sounds absolutely normal for the first few weeks. Once your OH is back to work, if you want to shower don't wait for baby to nap, bring them into the bathroom and either lay them on a mat (I used my dressing gown on top of a towel) or put them in a bouncy chair the steam can be very helpful as tiny babies can have leftover mucous for ages which does affect their tummies and feeding.

[Heirhelp]

I did not realise that new born babies need to learn to poo. Apparently it is quite a skill as you have to tense some muscles and relax others. This could be what is bothering her. Maybe try anti colic massage. It should not be done within an hour of eating. The north east sling library has a great video on tube of how to do it.

[KP86]

For the first month I think we barely got out of bed.

The first three months was in bed until about lunch time (DS would feed at 7am then back to sleep until 10 and I took full advantage after being up half the night!)

Follow baby's lead, they call the first three months the fourth trimester because all they do is sleep, feed and poo.

[Moonrocks6]

Thank you all so so much. There was a mix up with how much weight she had lost at the three day weigh in and we were sent back to the hospital. It turned out that her loss was within normal ranges after all but it has really knocked my confidence and has made me question myself about everything. I really appreciate your reassurance.

[KatyN]

I would say the first few months with a new baby are mainly about sleep, feed, change but also (and this might sound bonkers) but not really seeing your partner?? Either they are at work or one of you is sleeping!! My husband would take my little girl out for a walk as soon as he got home from work to give me a break so we disn'5 even cross paths in the evening. I go on the understanding that he's here for the long haul so a few months of no quality time is fine for the relationship.
Aim low, it gets better!! Kxx